Why Help?
Why do you do it? What motivates you? What restricts you?
I spend much of my time unable to connect with others in a meaningful way. If a person asks for help when they are facing challenges and I can identify with their situation because of past experience, I will help. Therein lays my scope and limitations.
Yes it feels good, because to me it has depth, requires energy, its real, as opposed to (personally) empty interactions about x factor/soaps/sport. It reminds me that I am part of humanity/ interconnectedness and if what I learned the hard way could help another person I will share it gladly without expectation of reciprocation or follow through.
BirdInFlight
Veteran
Joined: 8 Jun 2013
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,501
Location: If not here, then where?
Yes, I help for similar reasons -- if I see that someone is having a problem which I have some personal experience of myself, or that I've been around that issue and feel I might have some insights to offer.
I think helping someone if you are in a position to help them is part of what makes the world keep turning. One should try to do it if one can.
It's not about hoping for reciprocation, it's just about how sharing "how to" about anything -- from emotional coping to how to "build a better mousetrap" as the old saying goes, is the mechanism by which anything ever gets any better, for an individual, for a society, even for better inventions to use in the world. Sharing with others something you've learned is how we all move forward in anything.
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I'm better at helping with things I can personally identify with, too. I can sympathize with people who are going through completely different struggles, but when it comes to what's going to help them feel better it's all guesswork. Sometimes I worry that I might be giving them bad advice or planting terrible ideas in their head.
I help because I want the world to be more organized, functional place and to counteract all the people who are deliberately unhelpful. A snotty comment made just because someone's grammar is poor makes me want to respond with something better.
I think helping someone if you are in a position to help them is part of what makes the world keep turning. One should try to do it if one can.
It's not about hoping for reciprocation, it's just about how sharing "how to" about anything -- from emotional coping to how to "build a better mousetrap" as the old saying goes, is the mechanism by which anything ever gets any better, for an individual, for a society, even for better inventions to use in the world. Sharing with others something you've learned is how we all move forward in anything.
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this ^
It depends on the situation.
Sometimes it is because something about it has really gotten to me and I feel a natural wave of empathy/sympathy and want to help. Its like that with family members and close friends but can also happen with strangers.
It can be situational like a one-off, or more or less permanent. For instance I will always be strongly affected by an animal needing help. I also have a strong built-in empathy for humans in underdog situations, whether it be a disability, or just them being different, etc.
But to be honest, sometimes I help because I like the resulting 'thankyou' and also in a calculated way to have people owe me favors. Though I do know sometimes neither of those work out, and you get nothing in return. But in such cases there is no harm done.
With all that together, I have a basic default setting of trying to help whenever asked or when I see the need. I have to be feeling very crappy or self-centered to walk away from a problem. But the motivation behind instance varies. It can be one or another reason or mixtures of things. Its not always altruistic.
