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SakuyaIzayoi
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04 Sep 2014, 12:01 pm

Hi, I am new here. I think this is the right section for this, but apologies if not.

Sometimes (definitely not all the time, but often enough for me to wonder about it) I have my days or moments where I'm blank, unfeeling, and somewhat empty inside. I'm not happy, but I'm not sad. I'm not excited, but I'm not disinterested. It's like I overall just don't really care. If someone asked me what my mood is during these days or moments, I wouldn't know what to say. I don't really feel much during these times. If I see something that's supposed to be sad, or is really terrible, I might not care, feel any empathy, or understand or be able to explain why it's bad, as if I just don't feel a thing.

Does anyone else feel this way sometimes? I don't have many friends who are on the spectrum and I only have about two people to share experiences and stories with, so I joined this forum to see if anyone else had similar things like this. Sorry if this is hard to understand.



Last edited by SakuyaIzayoi on 05 Sep 2014, 6:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Toy_Soldier
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04 Sep 2014, 12:32 pm

I do not think I get that mood very often, in fact I think it very rare, but by coincidence I had one yesterday. It only lasted a few hours at most and it was an unpleasant experience for me. It probably is not identical to your mood, but what you described sounded a lot like mine. For a time I just had this feeling of not caring, like I had been unplugged from my normal feelings, likes and dislikes and in its place was a general disinterest, like nothing really mattered. I happened to be doing some carpentry and so just continued on robotically, and in a hour or two it had passed.

I can't think of anything that brought it on, any reason for it, so don't know what it is. One possibility is that it is some temporary unusual chemical situation in the brain. Having experienced that (brain chemical/function issues) in other areas such as anxiety and fairly consistent monthly manic periods, and the fact that there seems no practical cause, I would consider the brain suspect at least



SakuyaIzayoi
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04 Sep 2014, 5:44 pm

That does sound a lot like my mood, actually. Robotic is a good adjective to describe it. I?m moving, doing things, I can get out of bed, eat, and do everything I can when I?m not in that mood, but it?s as if I?m not feeling any emotions nor am I caring at all -- just running off a motor. A lot of people seem to think that I?m sad when it happens, but I?m not. I?m not happy, either. I?m just there.

It?s very bizarre. Maybe it?s just a thing that happens with my body sometimes. An unusual chemical situation, like you suggested. Still, a lot of people have the misconception that most aspies are completely numb and unfeeling due to the typical lack of expression; while I am unexpressive, I?m still always feeling plenty behind the blank face. When I have a blank face and I feel blank inside as well to the point where I even shut off from my interests that I'm usually obsessed with, it gets a bit odd.

Oh well. It doesn?t happen so often that it raises a concern to me, just curiosity if anyone else ever feels this way.



Last edited by SakuyaIzayoi on 05 Sep 2014, 6:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

qFox
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05 Sep 2014, 11:32 am

I know that feel exactly.

Personally I'm on kind of a mood roller-coaster concerning this. I will have days where I feel completely numb and indifferent, with little inner motivation to to do something. Not exactly feeling either good or bad, happy or sad but a grey in between. It feels almost if those days are already set in stone and all you can do is let it play out. Then I get completely opposite days where I wake up and feel overly excited, wanting to do everything at the same time. This makes university life a bit interesting, some days I completely outpace anyone else and come up with idea after idea and write page after page. Other days I'm just kind of absorbing everything that is happening around me without feeling the spark to react to what is happening.

The moment I wake up I can pretty much predict the kind of day it's going to be.

Just take care you don't have long periods of emotional numbness, as it may develop into a depression where apart from not being interested in most activities you also lose interest in your basic needs such as the need to eat or drink. I have had this once after a bad thing that happened to me and it turned into a real problem which affected me for months. :(



eggheadjr
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05 Sep 2014, 11:59 am

I have times when I don't feel any emotion at all - not happy, not sad, not upset, not content, just not anything. I discussed it with my psychologist and she seemed to think it was OK. So now I think that feeling no emotion at all is a valid emotion in and of itself - I call it neutral.


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Quantum
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06 Sep 2014, 9:00 am

Well this is also happening to me, I've had it for over a year now. Might be depression?



eggheadjr
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08 Sep 2014, 8:15 am

For me neutral is different than depressed. I get depressed sometimes.

When I'm feeling neutral - everything is OK. I liken it to kind of a "Spock-like" feeling.


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