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16 Sep 2014, 10:53 pm

I get embarrassed at meetings sometimes by my body's movements. If I try hard to stay still, it's worse, so I let myself wiggle and bounce and fidget from the beginning so I can control it better.

I am considering making a purchase of something that will help me look more like everyone else. I really just want the option of fading into the background sometimes, you know?

I am looking at seat cushions, but am curious what items (specially designed or not) any of you use.


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Buttercup
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17 Sep 2014, 7:55 am

Socially acceptable stimming is an issue for me too. I found out I was HFA while young and it was noticable my "pacifying motions" concerned adults. I rocked forward a lot so I love rockers. As an adult I picked up a habit of sitting in normal chairs but shifting my feet as if I were in a rocking chair. It works for me.
I also find it seriously helpful to have something to do with my hands. As a kid I took up crafting skills...crochet, sketching, handsewing, etc.
Puzzles also can be helpful to me. I work both 3D puzzles and on paper, word puzzles keep my hands occupied in a socially acceptable manner waiting for appointments, on airplanes, etc. If It's not acceptable to be occupied that way I find myself rubbing my fingers and hands, and curling/rubbing my toes in my shoes, lol. People (even normal ones) have been twiddling their thumbs for ages!
I hope some of this gives you ideas that work for you.



alpineglow
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17 Sep 2014, 9:35 am

My favorite thing for fidgeting (right now) is a ball chain, fits in my pocket, fits in my hand and the stainless steel one has no weird metal smell.
click



LupaLuna
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17 Sep 2014, 10:29 am

One of the ways I do "so called" publicly acceptable stimming is to integrate it into yoga exercises. Most people don't question you doing yoga out in public, and if they do, just tell them you got a stiff back and you're just trying to limber it up. The secret to integrating stimming into yoga is through choreography. Treat you stim output like the music and the yoga as the dance. It take practice, but you'll get it.



Kiriae
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17 Sep 2014, 4:38 pm

I play with pens. Click. Click. Click. :lol:
Sometimes people tell me to stop because the sound pisses them off but most of the time it seems pretty acceptable, especially if the environment is noisy enough.

I also play with zip-fasteners. I always have one with me - a leash attached to my mobile phone. I zip it up and down. Noone ever told me anything about that. Although it might look and sound bad when I am stressed. I zip it very fast and obsessively then. Zip, zip, zip... :lol:

I also tend to play with my hair. That's seems totally fine. I just wrap hair around one of my fingers. I seen NT people doing it too on many occasions.

I also like to tear or make "origami" of stuffs such as candy papers. Noone seems to care as long as I choose a right item to play with. I tend to use anything available... that includes my grandmas beads that she often lefts on table. I destroyed them a few times already by entangling them too much and ripping them as result. Since then once she realizes what I am doing she always tells me to stop because she is afraid I will destroy the "toy" again. And she is right...



Boxman108
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17 Sep 2014, 4:55 pm

I think I've learned to keep still a bit after long haircuts and dentist appointments and such. Playing songs in my head seems to help though at times I find I've annoyed someone by tapping my fingers without realising it. One thing I've managed to stop thankfully was picking at skin and scabs.


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kcizzle
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19 Sep 2014, 4:50 am

Chewing gum is brilliant. Also finger flexing/stretching and twirling hair (more acceptable for females). Chain smoking when I was younger, though gum is much better.



ASPartOfMe
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19 Sep 2014, 5:07 am

I had an eye exam yesterday. Very difficult for me to sit still and not blink my eyes while my eyes were being prodded and poked, and bright lights shined into it. I definitely frustrated the Ophthalmologist. Dilated eyes were really extremely uncomfortable and everything was so BRIGHT. It took about six hours not the 2 promised to start to get back to normal. Florescent lights especially bad. Sensory hell it was. I am still a bit frazzled the day after.

But it looks likely I have glaucoma so it is something I had to do. I have too go back for more testing November 3 and try and get used to staying still enough for eye drops. Sounds like fun :roll:


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Tizerize
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21 Oct 2014, 3:40 pm

I used to play with my chewing gum all the time, but I quit gum 10+ years ago (after i quit smoking) so started making / wearing bracelets to twirl and twiddle with (beads on elastic ...not sure what i like best; that they're cute or that they're great to play with). I only tend to wear them in spring / summer tho, so other times i tend to resort to finger fidgeting or hair twisting.
I always carry a puzzle book on eg trains, so i have something to look at and can ignore all those people looking for eye contact. Of course, sometimes it's too crowded to concentrate, and if it's too smelly or people are jostling me i might end up stimming more 'obviously' ~ twisting my hair, tapping my temple, 'flapping' my hand-wrist, and / or rocking (as discretely as i can!).
If i'm around another person who stims often enough, i might pick up one of their 'tics' too, but that doesn't happen often, or last long ~ the only body movement i know i've picked up from someone that has lasted is the yes/no head movement one of my favourite indian actors does sometimes;
one day, someone nice asked a yes / no question i wasn't sure how to answer and it just happened ...and felt really nice (!) so it kinda stuck.



Jensen
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31 Oct 2014, 3:17 pm

Hey! Be aware, that this slight sideways tilting of the head - from one side to the other, as polite indians often do when they smile, is a submissive sign ("I´m friendly and regard you as my equal or superior") :-)


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02 Nov 2014, 12:59 pm

Jensen wrote:
a submissive sign ..." I'm friendly and regard you as my equal or superior"
Many people think treating them as an equal is the opposite of submissive ...wether i'm agreeing or disagreeing with them, or 'tilting my uncertainty' at them. Besides, if it does 'invite' / bring out someone's meanness it'll have saved some time ...regards me figuring out if i want anything else to do with them or not.



Jensen
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02 Nov 2014, 2:24 pm

That little indan "yes-and-no" tilt won´t bring up the monster in normal people. An indian would read it as a very polite gesture - and all the others wouldn´t know a thing about it :lol:


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legomyego
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03 Nov 2014, 10:06 pm

wiggling your feet is an ok one...though some people get annoyed when I am tapping my foot (mostly my brother)


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Jensen
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04 Nov 2014, 4:43 am

Up till now, swaying seems to be acceptable. Everyone shifts foot when standing. As a music student,I got the habit of loosening my wrists by flapping. That has stuck. If I must do it, I can always say, that I am relaxing my wrists.


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gamerdad
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04 Nov 2014, 3:38 pm

Things that I do that seem to go mostly unnoticed in an office environment:
1. Tap my foot / bounce my leg
2. Rock my chair (standard office chairs that spin and recline)
3. Play with my ring
4. Click my pen (as long as the rest of the room is loud enough that it's not conspicuous)
5. Prick my fingers with sharp items (thumb tacks, pencils, etc...)