want to die

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please help,please say anything,am desperate to die,cant think of a way around it as everything is locked in the office with the sleep in staff and am sat up with a waking night staff who am not even able to show this to as they wont understand-am in desperate need to find a way around this otherwise know exactly what am like will end up doing something.
is it worth waking up the sleep in staff now,who is in bed but due up in a little bit?

have been at the lowest intake of barely working anti depressents the past week or so due to tapering off,just started on twenty mg of prozac yesterday/wensday-no side effects thanks to being started off quite low but am going to be put up to forty mg when used to it and then the pyschiatrist said she will go from there.

was suicidaly thinking but not actively suicidal tille tonight-logged onto wp as usual and came across this;
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp6258301.html#6258301
this was the reply to her-
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp6259719.html#6259719
reported it straight away and even posted scans of the diagnosis sheets of mine but the damage has been done and am sat here at rock bottom.
am fed up of resentful horrible people,they really skew the view have got of human beings, am already disconnected from them enough without people helping it along.

HUG: I hope you will get better.

I know that feels. *hugs* If you like hugs that is, I know I don't.

thanks a lot!,just about to get morning meds hope they will help.



thanks IAmTheCatalyst, am glad have found someone that relates.
ever try 'bear hugs' from behind? best thing ever for pressure seeking,woud love one right now.

Yeah, I constantly have to remind myself not to respond to people on the internet. I used to a lot. How can they judge me when they've never met me and never will? I do admit, sometimes the comments I've heard are sick, and make me feel that same way. And no, I've never tried those. Perhaps sometime with one of the few people I enjoy hugging me.

Hello KoR,

Are there any particular reasons for your heightened depression aside from the thread? (Feel free not to answer)

I'm sure that the user never intended for you to feel this way. I've not experienced depression as a result of posts, but I have felt bullied before (usually indirectly). Miscommunication seems to be the issue - mistakes do happen, and although highly cliche, that is part of being human. I find that when I am able to overcome what they say, and forgive them (not that they are necessarily wrong, additionally, I also make many mistakes), I feel happier.

I cannot possibly understand what life would be like for you, as we are two very different people, however I am sure of a few things:

. You frequently project wisdom with your posts, providing valuable insight
. You're a strong individual. You have not let your depression beat you before, and a vast majority of your posts have made many smile


I am not the best when it comes to therapeutic communication, but I give it my best shot. I just hope that my post is not interpreted in a rough manner.

I wish you all the best in the future!

It is ok to wake the staff. That is one of the reasons they are at the location 24/7. Its hard to make good decisions or think very well when you are emotionally upset. Its always best to wait it out and only think about it again after a nights sleep or enough time has passed.

KoR, I am so sorry to hear of your distress! I clicked on the links and I saw what that person said to you. I think she was horrid. She has no right to speak to you that way. She has no right to doubt your diagnosis and your status. I am so angry on your behalf. I'm angry at her complete and willful ignorance.

You are one of the most wise, insightful, knowledgeable and valuable people on this website. The information that you have LFA designation should only serve to educate people about how intelligent and valuable a person like you actually can be, not make them doubt your diagnosis and level of severity. Instead of doubting, they should be revising what they believe of severely affected people.

I think that it's shocking that you have been bullied here in the past and still have to endure comments that are of an attacking nature.

I can't imagine that person fully intended to have such a bad effect on you, but that's no excuse; what she said was still callous and accusing.

If there is one thing I can't stand about WP sometimes, it is when people doubt other people's truth.

I wish I hadn't come so late to this thread; you need all the support you can get right now. I'm hoping you are okay and that you could wake up the staff and get help?

Please do not harm yourself; you're an amazing person and the world needs you. THIS place needs you too.

GIANT hug.

.

Have your morning meds done anything to help?
Hope you don't keep feeling this way. I think a lot of people would like you to be around, and to be happy/happier.
Would try to say something helpful if I could, but I don't know if there's anything I could say. I'm in the same/a similar position.

Sorry to hear you are ill and unhappy, do bear in mind that prozac has slow kinetics, it can take quite a while for the level in your brain to become stable after you change the daily dose.

I do not know all the kinetic parameters for it but I have heard is is slow to leave the brain after being discontinued.

Wayne L. Strauss, Matthew E. Layton, and Stephen R. Dager published a paper which gives some of the kinetic parameters for a related drug in a human brain in Biological Psychiatry, Volume 45, Issue 10, 15 May 1999, Pages 1384?1388. Maybe one of the bio science people here like Labpet could work out how to make a mathmatical model for Prozac in your brain which would let you predict how long the prozac would take to have an effect.

If you want to shock your doctor try asking what the biokinetics of prozac are in a typcial human, and ask if a two compartment model is OK for dealing with the question of how much is in your brain right now.

This^^

You contribute so much to the autism and ID communities. We would be very sad if we lost you. I hope you start feeling better soon.

KOR I hope you are feeling better.
I can relate to you a lot. Your circumstances are really different from mine, but I think underneath that we are not that much different as people. I know what it's like to feel the way you are feeling. Big hugs to you.

Hey KoR, I would've posted sooner if I'd seen this earlier. I've just come from reading my (now locked) thread. I'm struggling with typing even this much (suffering from severe depression and feelings of wanting to die as well at the moment - nothing to do with what anyone has said to me on WP, though), but I just wanted to say I really, really hope you haven't done anything rash and are okay.

You are a good poster. You are one of the first posters who stood out for me and I enjoy reading your posts. Like BirdInFlight said, you've given me a new insight into what it's like to be an LFA that I wouldn't have known about otherwise. I wouldn't be classed as having an intellectual disability, but I'm still stupid enough to have screwed absolutely everything up - sometimes 'intelligence' isn't all it's cracked up to be.

It's easy to say don't let one snide poster get to you, but I kinda understand what it's like to have someone or something tip you over the edge. I feel like this is what is happening to me in real life right now. Please, just post to let us know you're okay, even if it's a couple of words.

's all I've got right now. Take care of yourself.

Hang in there.Med changes are awful,they make your mind think weird stuff.Hugs.Remember to be kind to yourself,you are a valuable member of this community.

Stick around, KoR. Med changes suck. Sometimes life sucks. Human beings suck often.

You're one of the good ones. We need you.

Hope you feel better.

KoR please stay. I read what you write and admire and learn from you. This place would be much less without you - hope you get the message. Are you feeling better?