Is being horrible at explanations an Aspie trait?

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L_Holmes
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10 Oct 2014, 9:29 pm

I feel like I am almost never able to get my point across to people, especially verbally but even in writing. I can't organize my thoughts, and even if I could it is still hard to put in words why I have a certain opinion about something.

It is especially frustrating, because I have this thing, I guess it could be called an ability, where I will often know without a doubt that something someone said is not right. In school, often my peers would say things that they heard from someone else or their parents, these interesting "facts" about things, or ideas on certain issues etc. and I knew they were wrong or being illogical. Unfortunately, I would impulsively point it out, thinking there's no way they will disagree, and suddenly everyone would start questioning me about it, question after question after question, and I'd end up looking like an idiot because I could not explain it to them. Even though later if I asked someone else about it, they agreed, and would immediately say exactly what I was thinking in simple terms.

I just can't understand why I am so bad at it. Even on here I feel like my ideas and my intentions are frequently misunderstood, at least at first. To me it seems that others on WP are still able to explain what they are thinking more easily than I am. I always have to edit my posts many times before posting, because they become way too long or go off on an unrelated tangent. Is this more common than I am thinking, or am I just exceptionally bad?


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Zajie
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10 Oct 2014, 11:04 pm

Me too I'm very bad at it I can't organize or express my thoughts correctly or fully or exactly the way they are but I'm better in it in writting than in talking, etc, etc
I'm not sure if its an aspie trait though



ASPartOfMe
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10 Oct 2014, 11:50 pm

The explanation for both issues are Executive Functioning Deficits common in ASD and ADHD. When you think of a person who is an executive such as the principle at your school. What does your principle do? If he or she is a good principle they plan and organize so the school runs smoothly. If your principle came to school drunk what would happen? He or she would not be able to organize very well and the school would would descend into chaos. The alcohol would lower his inhibitions and he or she would say inappropriate things.
Our brain is our "executive". Our Autistic brain with Executive Functioning deficits has problems planning an organizing. Verbal communication is problematic because we have to react immediately while trying to follow social rules and being overstimulated by our senses. And since your inhibitions are lowered you have trouble stopping yourself from correcting errors by other people.

People have though I was drunk or stoned when I was not plenty of times.


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CyclopsSummers
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11 Oct 2014, 12:44 am

I believe that having trouble with getting your point across in simple terms, is also related to that 'lack of empathy' thing, in the sense that everything you want to explain/clarify is already 'set' in a certain way in your head. And it makes sense to you, and you figure that if you explain it 'as is', it will also make sense to the other person. But I often neglect to remember that it's taken me a couple steps to get to that point or to get to my conclusions, and I forget to simplify and guide the other person through my thought processes.

Don't know if that's relevant to what you're asking here. :P


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calstar2
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11 Oct 2014, 12:54 am

Yes, I have great trouble with the things you've written about. Although, I also know a good portion of NTs who are poor at explaining things. I would assume that the reasons and extent differ between us.



little_blue_jay
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11 Oct 2014, 2:42 am

Yup! You've pretty much described me to a T, especially the way people used to react to me where I used to work.

I would try to contribute to a conversation and no matter the topic I'd get questioned about it, and if I couldn't answer fast enough or coherently enough they would make it clear that they didn't believe me.. then I'd get ignored next time or next topic because, hey, I just don't know what I'm talking about :roll: Even when I knew that someone was wrong about something... it got to the point where even though I knew someone was wrong I just wouldn't bother refuting it, it just took too much energy...


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James_Ladrang
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11 Oct 2014, 8:21 am

It is not necessarily a problem with your explanations - some folk just don't get things no matter what.

This sounds all too familiar. Some people want the broad brush first then fill in the detail while others want detail first, building up to the big picture. These two views are referred to firstly as top down and secondly as bottom up (this is not meant to be rude).

When you get people who are a mix of top down thinkers and bottom up thinkers, they each keep interrupting as you try to give your explanation. I don't know about you but I lose confidence when this happens and feel like my explanation is no good. It also makes me want to say more than perhaps I should, like this post.

I used to have a manager who was never happy with either a top down explanation or a bottom up explanation, even when everything was written down for her. Apparently she could not be bothered to read all the way through. Silly manager. If only I was explaining to people who were more clever all the time, unlike her, but life throws up some pretty thick people at times who never understand anything not spoon fed to them, and somehow, some of them become managers.

So you see, sometimes it may feel like your explanations may not be up to the mark, but it is more to do with the listener's own problems. You could try asking them which approach they would prefer but I tend to sound condescending when I do that, but that is a different thread.