Is it normal for people with Aspergers to hate change?
I have often seen or hear on this forum and elsewhere that a common symptom is disliking or being threatened/intimidated by change but...I'm the opposite. I really cannot wait for my environment to change completely. I have come t despise more people than I have come to like and the endless monotony of my life in sixth form is killing me (which is horrible because I only started about 6 weeks ago). I really cannot wait to finally wave goodbye to this, I get bored frequently (maybe due to depression idk) but this doesn't seem to fit my diagnosis. Does this vary a lot?
nerdygirl
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I fluctuate between both extremes.
I like to know what the plan is so that I can mentally prepare for it. If the plan changes, I get very, very upset.
However, I hate monotony and am easily bored. This does not mean I like spontaneity. It means I like variety.
Sometimes, I can deal with spontaneity, but only when I have some "open time" planned. I do try to plan some open time to allow for spontaneity.
It is not that common. I don't mind change myself that much, I moved about 12 times in the last 10 years. I am looking for the ultimate routine that is somewhere on the horizon, I cant seem to find it though.
Changing so often recuires alot of creativity, and therefore keeps your mind busy with new inputs and problems to solve. There are to kinds of creativity; one is to problemsolving creativity and is mostly internal the other one is expressive creativity and usually leads to a product. Both create experience and positive feelings. (freely translated from Rosmalen, J. van (1999) Het woord aan de verbeelding. Spel en kunstzinnige middelen in het sociaal agogisch werk.)
Now what I was thinking about today is that if my mind requires constant input then maybe I can find it in something else then changing my environment every few months. Now I am not saying; "get a hobby". I got loads and after a while I start something new. My plan is to start my own company. I want to spend my time building happyness for the people around me and not spend it on new circumstances.
My problem is that I and up getting more change then I bargained for. (I moved to the other side of the country and have great difficulty understanding the dialect)
Yes, I dislike change. I had to get a doctors note to ensure my breaks at work were at the exact same time. I begin to freak out if it is sooner or later. If I know it will be at a different time in advance I can deal with it better. I don't like surprises.
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There is something you call "Stress". If not, then there's "Over-stimulation".
People hates stress. NT or not.
It really varies regardless. Aspies just happens easily stressed by SUDDEN change. Planning ahead helps. But then, unpredictable change is different from few changes in routines and from big expected changes AND from slow-but-surely gradual changes.
In my current case, I don't mind. I prepared myself for the worst, one way or another because 'I have to grow up' soon. And I want SOME change. My life is currently boring right now.
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Dealing with change is one of the problems that really interferes with my life, I get massive anxiety with change that I didn't decide for myself, even then if the change is really big me deciding it does not make any difference.
I think its seen as a part of Asperger's but that's not to say everyone with Asperger's will suffer with this particular problem.
I don't like sudden change. For instance, when they told us our work schedule would change from 8 hours/day to 12 hours/day I freaked out and handed in my resignation on the spot. Perhaps that was a bit of an over-reaction but I couldn't help it at the time.
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lostonearth35
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It is so boring and isolated where I live that I would give almost anything to be able to move somewhere where I'll actually have interesting places to go or things to do or have more opportunities. The other day there was a poll on another site asking what outdoor activities did you do over Thanksgiving, and all I did was go on a little shopping trip and have turkey at my parent's house. I do get to do fun things sometimes but mostly only because my parents take me there. I can't drive anywhere because I don't have a car. I don't know how to drive, I can't afford a car, and I'd be too scared to drive because everyone drives like they're DUI and just walking can be nerve-wracking. I'm 40 now and I know it won't be much longer before I'm too old to enjoy anything anyway. So a major change like learning to drive would be very stressful yet I crave a change like living in a less rural, more interesting town or city. But even if I did I won't have any friends or relatives close by to help me out with such a major change, so the stress would probably kill me. I seldom go out at night because it's too dark and I worry about getting run over by drunk drivers or attacked by teenagers. Sometimes I take a cab but it's too expensive to do that all the time.
Whenever the seasons themselves change I get anxious and uneasy. Especially in the early fall. It seems like every fall I have something new and horrible to worry about, like Ebola. I look forwards to Halloween and Christmas and stuff, but I also get stressed out, especially Christmas where I have to find the perfect gifts for my family members AGAIN, and go to crowds and risk infection from people who think the world will end if they stay home when they have the flu. My mother is the only person who actually tells me what she would like and she may suggest things for my dad and my brother which is good since my brain goes blank when I try to come up with gift ideas on my own and when I try to shop for gifts it's all I can do not to run screaming out the self-opening doors - before they open! Well maybe we'll all be dead by Ebola by then so at least I won't have to go through THAT anymore.
I also hate sudden changes because most of the time my whole week is revolving around that one day where I get to go out for lunch with my mother or shopping with a friend. I understand when they have to cancel because of illness, but I'm still thinking "Great, now I have a long, dull day, what am I going to do to spend it?"
I also really have a hard time dropping whatever I've been doing because I've been asked or told to do something else. Interruptions are the worst.
I dislike change imposed by others, that I am not able to prepare for, that interferes with what I consider to be ?the natural order of things? .
There are some changes imposed by others that don?t bother me much.
- For example, they recently re-organized the grocery store moving the bread from one aisle to another. This change is rather simple to adjust to. As I simply need to modify my shopping pattern. It becomes annoying, if they do this often.
- For example, they recently had to change the way the lanes work to improve throughput on the freeway. Again, this change is rather simple to adjust to. And, I understand it will lead to a better driving experience.
Other changes, do bother me a lot. There are a set of routines that I perform every day. If a surprise happens, and I am not able to perform those routines, as planned, I get highly agitated. However, if I am told about this change a day or so before, I can plan ahead and figure out what routines to adjust.
nick007
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I really like/need predictability & consistency so I tend to dislike change.
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I am not sure 'norms' as such have been established for people with autism. But there are certainly aspects and tendencies you often see. From my reading and experience I would say not liking change is a common trait. I didn't have it so much at first, but it became stronger as time went on. It was a lot more specific and noticeable then that which is associated with people as they age.
BirdInFlight
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It's a trait commonly experienced by many on the autism spectrum, yes. However, there are different kinds of change, and some are less stressful than others. For example, there is change that the person themselves wants to instigate, such as the type you can't wait to have happen.
Because that change will be your choice, there will be gladness, relief and motivation rather than stress.
Then there's unexpected change, sudden change, changes that are thrust upon the person by someone else or simply by life. Those kinds of changes can be inherently more stressful -- to NTs too, not just people on the spectrum. But many people on the spectrum will find those particularly stressful and hard to cope with. Not all, but many may. Because, it's a disruption to routine, predictability, expectation, and the person's preferred way of things.
Personally I'm really bad with change that I haven't myself instigated. If I want to rearrange all my furniture because I'm bored, that's going to be a positive and exciting and happy change for me. Or even if I find a nicer place to live and completely move homes altogether.
But if I get evicted, or the rent goes too high and I HAVE TO move, that is the kind of change that will be extremely stressful for me and I'll experience it as a horrible thing.
But then, that would be horrible for any person.
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