If no one remembers me do I disappear?

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Mootoo
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19 Oct 2014, 2:50 am

So... I just thought... so many people over my life just disappeared into thin air... just because they were supposed to be 'professionals' and those kind of people vanish as soon as some set goal is achieved. I guess I'm the stupid one to think that I might have some sort of friendships with teachers and others...

Currently I only talk to one person IRL for three hours every week... if that stops somehow (heck, he's retired recently...) - where in my mind am I if all time is uniform? If we adjust our own personality according to our surroundings then technically there is no relativity in my mind, right?


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ImAnAspie
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19 Oct 2014, 4:00 am

My reality is not based on other people. I have other people in my life through circumstance - not by choice but honestly, if they all just disappeared, it wouldn't phase me in the slightest. I live to go home and be alone. I don't rely on other people to define anything in my life. Never have. Never will.

Are you happy with your own company? Do you need other people to make you feel complete?


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Mootoo
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20 Oct 2014, 12:02 am

Unfortunately I seem to lack that absolute nonchalant attitude severely autistic people seem to have when it comes to company... I have the desire, but the skills and circumstances of a train-wreck. Love your avatar, by the way.


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olympiadis
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20 Oct 2014, 12:17 am

Mootoo wrote:
So... I just thought... so many people over my life just disappeared into thin air... just because they were supposed to be 'professionals' and those kind of people vanish as soon as some set goal is achieved. I guess I'm the stupid one to think that I might have some sort of friendships with teachers and others...

Currently I only talk to one person IRL for three hours every week... if that stops somehow (heck, he's retired recently...) - where in my mind am I if all time is uniform? If we adjust our own personality according to our surroundings then technically there is no relativity in my mind, right?


I think as far as the hive is concerned you are just off-grid.



ImAnAspie
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20 Oct 2014, 8:35 pm

Mootoo wrote:
Love your avatar, by the way.


Thank you


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kamiyu910
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20 Oct 2014, 9:50 pm

For me, it depends on what is defined by "disappearing." Such as, do I disappear from the rest of the world if no one remembers me or talks to me or anything? In a social sense, yes. But I myself will not disappear. I'll still be very aware of myself.
I suppose I do enjoy having other people around me, though I tend to prefer not to interact unless it's intelligent conversation. The last interaction resulted in the other person having no idea what autism is and spouting strange stuff about how everyone is autistic... stuff like that makes me want to disappear (although, I have left a mark on this world, so in a way, I'll not be forgotten for a while. Having kids does that...)


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JSBACHlover
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20 Oct 2014, 10:01 pm

Mootoo wrote:
So... I just thought... so many people over my life just disappeared into thin air... just because they were supposed to be 'professionals' and those kind of people vanish as soon as some set goal is achieved. I guess I'm the stupid one to think that I might have some sort of friendships with teachers and others...

Currently I only talk to one person IRL for three hours every week... if that stops somehow (heck, he's retired recently...) - where in my mind am I if all time is uniform? If we adjust our own personality according to our surroundings then technically there is no relativity in my mind, right?

Wow, that's a very deep question! I knew I was different when I was very small, so I did two things to try to resolve this. 1) Copy other people and try to be like them. 2) Within that framework try to show how I'm different.

Problem is, Who am I? Am I what I do? Am I just an anomaly trying to smooth myself over to fit into the crowd (unsuccessfully, I might add)?

Is this what you're dealing with, Mootoo?


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NiceCupOfTea
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20 Oct 2014, 10:02 pm

Mootoo wrote:
So... I just thought... so many people over my life just disappeared into thin air... just because they were supposed to be 'professionals' and those kind of people vanish as soon as some set goal is achieved. I guess I'm the stupid one to think that I might have some sort of friendships with teachers and others...

Currently I only talk to one person IRL for three hours every week... if that stops somehow (heck, he's retired recently...) - where in my mind am I if all time is uniform? If we adjust our own personality according to our surroundings then technically there is no relativity in my mind, right?


I've agreed with a lot of stuff I've read on WP over the past few weeks, but nothing resonates more for me right now than that first paragraph. It encapsulates my thoughts exactly. Now if only I understood the second paragraph.... :p



ImAnAspie
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20 Oct 2014, 10:35 pm

Just as you "adjust our own personality according to our surroundings", you have your default or base personality. That is, how you behave and act in front of yourself. You're a person too. In fact, you're the person you know best in the world and should feel most comfortable with.


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JSBACHlover
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20 Oct 2014, 11:57 pm

It's hard to find that "default" personality, but it is there.


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ImAnAspie
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21 Oct 2014, 12:11 am

JSBACHlover wrote:
It's hard to find that "default" personality, but it is there.

I did a huge amount of soul searching when i was younger and took an honest look at myself from an extremal, disconnected way. I listed all of my attributes, good and bad.

It was quite eye opening. Without sounding boastful, I can honestly say I like who I am.


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Your Aspie score: 151 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 60 of 200

Formally diagnosed in 2007.

Learn the simple joy of being satisfied with little, rather than always wanting more.



olympiadis
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21 Oct 2014, 12:13 am

NiceCupOfTea wrote:
Mootoo wrote:
So... I just thought... so many people over my life just disappeared into thin air... just because they were supposed to be 'professionals' and those kind of people vanish as soon as some set goal is achieved. I guess I'm the stupid one to think that I might have some sort of friendships with teachers and others...


I've agreed with a lot of stuff I've read on WP over the past few weeks, but nothing resonates more for me right now than that first paragraph. It encapsulates my thoughts exactly. Now if only I understood the second paragraph.... :p


We are humans competing in an environment run by ideas (memetics). The ideas have more lasting power than we do, and that's no accident.
We are the expendable hosts.