Should I spend less time on WP?

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I've been "behind" developmentally all my life. There are times when I've had to 'work at it" in order to "catch up."

I'm still behind in at least some ways.

One has to adapt making use of what one has already. This is useful when you want to acquire further skills. Lamenting about what you "don't have" will invariably lead to failure.

I wonder what would happen if you re-learned the Icelandic language.

DK, you are how you are. We all are. You can do things to help your brain like relearning Icelandic which would be awesome. But you are not going to affect your development by threads on a forum. But don't be embarrassed about who you are. I know that is harder said than done and sometimes I even get embarrassed but you need to be able to love and accept yourself as you are and when you do others will too. I have known many people who have all kinds of issues and what makes the difference between how others view them and treat them is often times the vibes they give off because of how they treat themselves.

I know you want to be grown up and independent and you might be able to do work to help you get that way. But you could also have a real physiological reason why your development is where it is and if you do you need to respect that. But if your developmental delay was caused by emotional trauma, there are ways to overcome that. I can link some great resources for you but I have to look them up again. You can do all kinds of things to help you "grow up" and if they work that will be great. If they don't work, there could be an issue with the actual development of your brain that you can't fix yourself. I think that I actually have a physiological issue which causes me to process certain things at a younger age. I have done some "grow up" exercises and they have not worked for me. But you never know, they might work for you.

But either way, don't be afraid or ashamed or embarrassed of who you are. No matter what your challenges are you are a beautiful person worthy of love and respect. You have many strengths and things about yourself that are wonderful. You need to focus on those things.

I am almost three times your age and I have never been able to live alone or hold a successful job and I was not able to finish university. But I just recently found a great career opportunity that I can pursue and that if I am successful I can become financially independent so that if anything happens to my husband I can survive financially. And funny thing is that it's my child like nature that led me to that path. And even though my child side is particularly strong, I am still married and we own a home and I am still able to do many wonderful things. And no matter what your issues are you will be able to do whatever the wonderful things are that you can do.

But you mustn't feel embarrassed. There is nothing at all embarrassing about someone who has legitimate issues.

Totally agree with Campin Cat. And Happy upcoming birthday Cat! I hope you have a super day.

One of my best friends recently told me, "Never worry about something before it actually happens." She actually said it more beautifully than that but it says the same thing. But as a champion worrier, I know that I have to listen to my own advice. But if you can try to remember that it will help. I think you should try to find hobbies that you can really enjoy and get excited about so that you don't dwell on these things.

THANKS, skibum!! !

DevilKisses: My aunt used to say something very similar when I would fret about something, she would say: "What can you do about it?" The answer was most often "nothing", and I remind myself of that, to this day!!

People post about a lot of things here that I don't relate to. For instance, never having a job. Never having a boyfriend or girlfriend. Having severe meltdowns in public and having the police come around to deal with them. Some that rarely leave their home. Seeing a psychiatrist regularly, taking medication, or having been committed. And yeah, adults that are still very childlike.

On the other hand, some people here are married, have children, have satisfying friendships or careers, and I don't have those things in common with them either.

But people also post about a great many things that I DO relate to. Like having their behavior misinterpreted. Being utterly exhausted by social interaction. Sensory overload. Being very picky about food or clothing. Just to name a few things because it would take me days to list everything. Most of what I've posted here since I joined has been because other people write about things I really relate to.

Anyway often the same people who write about things I relate to, also write about things I don't relate to. Just because I have a lot in common with someone, doesn't mean I'm going to end up in the same circumstances they are. We're all different.

Some of the things I used to worry would end up happening to me, I don't worry about anymore. I used to worry that I might end up financially destitute, or homeless. It's not that I think it could never happen to me, but it's actually because I've realized it can happen to anyone. It's not necessarily due to having a disability or some personal failing. It just happens.

I used to feel like it was a personal failing that I don't have a better job, or rather a professional career instead of a job. But most people just have regular jobs, and it's not because they failed or did anything wrong. It's just the way life is. And lots of people don't have a job at all, because the economy is s**t right now. Lots of adults are still living with their parents, or moving back in with family, because it's too expensive to live independently.

I'm pretty sure I have these worries because of Pure-O OCD. Pure-O OCD makes people have irrational obsessions with more hidden compulsions than OCD. I think my obsession with growing up started when I was about seven or eight. My mom told me that I'm not as mature as other kids my age. This made me very upset. Mainly because I was already obsessed with success at that age. This obsession got even worse when I started middle school. I was only eleven and I was already worried about my bra size, makeup and getting a boyfriend.

WP has been a very mixed experience. I like it because a lot of people here post interesting things. I can also post things without people thinking I'm crazy or a troll. A lot of the negative posts here are interesting for me, but they end up making me depressed.

This makes total sense DK. I hope you will continue to stay here though because I like having you around. It is true that the posts and threads are a mixed bag and that just comes with the territory of being human. Try not to take things too personally and that will help with the harder stuff or just don't bother reading the hard threads. Enjoy the ones you really enjoy and I think that will help. But I understand what you are saying about the Pure O - OCD. That does make things more challenging. But hopefully we can be your friends and encourage you here.

I think Devil Kisses is a nice poster. I don't think she should leave WrongPlanet. I would miss her.