Dog dying, parents think I'm horrid

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My dog is dying as I write this. They are out there crying and holding her, practically sick to their stomachs over it. I don't get it. She is old and meant to die at this time. I even offered to euthanize her myself at one point because they are to clingy to let go and in turn are making her suffer. I am the only one who is not crying. They think I am a cold insensitive person but they don't get that no life form lives forever and they can't do anything.

Just ignore the accusations. It's the typical neurotypical craziness. Yeah death is sad, but it happens. Best thing to do is to move on and bypass their accusations as best as you can.

Maybe because its a dog and not a human
I don't know but when pets die I feel pity and sad but I don't feel loss

you arent horrible but what you need is to show some emotion. i think NT need constant stimuli from everyone in order to function themselves

you could confusing to them thus an irregularity and people hate irregularity especially in a social situation like a death of a loved one.

if i were you faking it would get you less hassle then to be honest.



that is me however how you react is your decision

I had to put my dog down when I was 13. She had severe arthritis and causing her pain. I took her in the back, laid her down and took a 3006 rifle to her head and pull the trigger. I felt releaved afterwords.

You are neither cold nor insensitive. You understand the circle of life and you respect it and your dog does as well. They may actually be making it more difficult for her to pass out of body and into spirit by their clinginess. But that is how they are genuinely feeling so it is fine for them to feel it and to express it. But you are not cold because you are not expressing it in a similar manner. I am sure you love her as much as they do but each person should be free to grieve as he or she wishes.

Not to sound rude but you do sound cold not to care that your pet is dying.

Then again, I feel more attached to animals than people and generally get more upset when animals die than people.

From the OP's Op I don't get the impression that she does not care that her dog is dying, just that she does not feel the same sense of feelings that the others do and that she is not expressing what she does feel as they are. She has not told us what she actually feels or does not feel, she has only stated that she is not expressing as they are and that they are making assumptions because of that. In fact, she mentioned that their clinginess is adding to her suffering and to me that shows that she cares about the dog very much and does not want her to suffer more than she has to.

I agree with andrethemoogle, and I don't relate to your lack of feelings. Not everyone on the spectrum is all-logic and zero emotion, love and attachment. I have been completely distraught at the deaths of every pet I had, and while that doesn't mean you "should" too, as you are you and you are different from me, it does mean that I understand you as poorly as you understand the emotional people crying over the loss of a being that they loved and will miss.

I don't hold with these accusations some people on the spectrum make that anyone showing any emotion is just "Silly NTs making a big phony display and expecting everyone else to do the same."

Believe it or not, some people actually do get genuinely upset when someone, animal or person, dies. Logic and knowledge of the life cycle doesn't come into it -- love and grief and knowing you are going to badly miss that presence is.

NOT EVERYONE HAS TO FEEL THE SAME THING ---- but turn that around and realize that goes for them too.

YOU don't "have to" feel upset and cry, but neither do THEY have to be logical, cold, practical and quit being upset if they are genuinely experiencing enormous sadness.

Just because you don't doesn't make them less than you, worse than you or faking something.

And what's being labelled "clinginess" is insulting to be honest. That is grief they are feeling. It doesn't mean they won't come to terms with having to let the dog go. They just need to process through all the things they are feeling.

Was it "clinginess" when I did not want my mum to die? For fcks sake.

If you don't understand why people hurt terribly when going through the loss of an animal then I can't help you.
Leave them alone and stop bashing them for it.

I had some super close people in my life die this year, four of them. If you had seen and heard me you would have thought I was cold as ice and totally insensitive and that I had no care for them whatsoever. In some cases it took months before I could express anything. But I hurt over those loses with a depth that no one else could even understand.

I think it's a big assumption to assume that the OP feels nothing without her telling us exactly what she feels. I also don't think that her not understanding people's powerful expressions of feelings equates bashing. I think it's just a genuine lack of understanding which is not all that surprising since she is an Aspie and that is something that many Aspies actually struggle with.

The issue isn't about the dog dying. The issue is that OP's parents think that she is cold and insensitive. Until OP's parents appreciate and understand their daughter better, the underlying problems in this relationship will keep manifesting until an amicable solution between both sides can be found.

In terms of pets, I am fortunate enough to choose that of which means something to me. I am particularly fond of my cat children. A great example is that I currently have eight house cats as well as a mom cat with six five month old kittens. I am keeping the mom and one kitten and currently seeking the adequate means to find homes for the others. My parents canines are well in that they entertain, provide purpose and love for them, these things which I can well respect. Even so, I have no greater feeling for them than this. Should they perish, I feel mourning and sympathies for my parents yet not for that of which I am unattached to. Not to say I am cold to loss, for once I lost a dear female cat to the forest above my home and mourned horribly, weeping, searching, calling and yelling her name. It was a depressing and scarring time for me to lose such a close and cherished feline loved one.

I think some of us may be assuming she feels nothing not because she's not crying or showing emotion, but because she's saying in her post very distanced things like: "I don't get it. She is old and meant to die at this time. I even offered to euthanize her myself at one point because they are to clingy to let go."

She has said she "doesn't get" why they are sick to their stomachs at the coming death of their dogs. That kind of DOES speak of someone who isn't feeling anything at all. She is speaking very logically and pragmatically about how everything dies. That kinda precludes any "Oh and by the way I'm still sad about it."

Seems to me.

Sorry but I think it's safe to assume her original post IS a statement of not feeling sad but simply being crisply logical and I don't think she's being fair to the parents who are feeling sad about this.

Her post reeks of looking down on them for it and I'll say it right out, I think she's a f*****g monster.

OP -- in my opinion you ARE horrid, and it's NOT because you're not weeping and wailing, it's because you make it clear that you "don't get" why this is sad for anyone even though "things die" and "it's the dog's time."

Jesus christ on a pogo stick....