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whyitgotobeme
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31 Oct 2014, 1:16 am

Hey everybody, first off I appreciate who ever stop by this to read. I have a problem...with life.. So I'm here to vent about some things and I would like to hear other's response.. Ok so I am a 21 y/o Live With Parents right, now I kind of grew up very weird, my mom has been a hardcore Christian her whole life and takes the bible very literally and serious, being she is from a different country, I can see why. She was never fond of "American" culture. So we didn't grow up like "Americans". We meaning my siblings. We couldn't watch TV except Christian programming, couldn't listen to music unless it was religious, couldn't HAVE FRIENDS, Didn't eat anything that had sugar or salt included (doesn't really mean nothing but just had to add it), no outside/play time. No girlfriend(s), Nothing. So hear I am, (my aspie self, only one in the family), I am the only person in my family who is still stuck on my moms old fashion rules even know I'm grown now, I look at all my siblings who have grown up and became who they are, and me, I'm still stuck.. I feel like I can't be an individual due to the way my mother raised me and how I was the most obediant to her rules. I feel I want to explore the world, and eventually become somebody. I can care less about being "normal", I just want to be free to make decisions and have my own desires/beliefs without my mothers "teachings" haunting me. Don't want to sound like I'm "bitching" but this my first time actually telling someone about this.. So yeah Reply yall and if anyone ask why I'm 21 in adult forum its cause I get along with adult way more than kids



Last edited by whyitgotobeme on 31 Oct 2014, 4:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

auntblabby
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31 Oct 2014, 2:18 am

hiya Why :) welcome to the club 8) I was sheltered also until adulthood, because my parents saw me as mentally retarded.



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31 Oct 2014, 2:36 am

whyitgotobeme wrote:
Hey everybody, first off I appreciate who ever stop by this to read. I have a problem...with life.. So I'm here to vent about some things and I would like to hear other's response.. Ok so I am a 21 y/o Live With Parents right, now I kind of grew up very weird, my mom has been a hardcore Christian her whole life and takes the bible very literally and serious, being she is from a different country, I can see why. She was never fond of "American" culture. So we didn't grow up like "Americans". We meaning my siblings. We couldn't watch TV except Christian programming, couldn't listen to music unless it was religious, couldn't HAVE FRIENDS, Didn't eat anything that had sugar or salt included (doesn't really mean nothing but just had to add it), no outside/play time. No girlfriend(s), Nothing. So hear I am, (my aspie self, only one in the family), I am the only person in my family who is still stuck on my moms old fashion rules even know I'm grown now, I look at all my siblings who have grown up and became who they are, and me, I'm still stuck.. I feel like I can't be an individual due to the way my mother raised me and how I was the most obediant to her rules. I feel I want to explore the world, and eventually become somebody. I can care less about being "normal", I just want to be free to make decisions and have my own desires/beliefs without my mothers "teachings" haunting me. Don't want to sound like I'm "bitching" but this my first time actually telling someone about this.. So yeah Reply yall and if anyone ask why I'm 21 in adult forum its cause I get along with adult way more than kids


Sounds like you got the same religious education I got: the worst of 5-point Calvinism and Arminianism. Neither system of theology allows for free will. For years, I was made to feel inferior by my parents because they were not of "the elect." Problem is, I never saw anything in Scripture about "the elect," or more appropriately, "the frozen chosen."

Unfortunately, this is something you will have to work out for yourself. It took me until I was almost 25 to figure it out. I'd start looking at individual congregations. For me, it was the Lutherans, since I was made welcome by them, as well as convinced by Martin Luther's philosophy of "By faith alone, by grace alone, by scripture alone, and by Christ alone."


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nerdygirl
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31 Oct 2014, 7:35 am

It is hard to stretch your wings while still under the eye of your parents. Is there any way you can move out?

If not, are you in college or can you go to college? That is a great way to expand your social circle and cultural experience.

Basically, you need some physical time and space away from your parents. If you must live with them, you need to find a way to spend significant amounts of time outside the house with other people. Even if your parents were "normal", you will still need this in order to develop into your own person.

I am a Christian, too, but my parents were not so strict. I have known people who are, though. Personally, I don't see how that kind of strictness matches up with the teachings of Christ. But, hey, that's a whole 'nother topic!



AspieUtah
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31 Oct 2014, 9:18 am

Christianity is about forgiveness, love and resisting dogma (see Jesus and the Pharisees).

Start living your life the way you determine. Your ability to accommodate your mother is helpful as you don't probably want to upset her until you can move into your own home. But, outside her home, adjusting some parts of your life to accommodate you is expected and fair.

Good luck.


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whyitgotobeme
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31 Oct 2014, 4:15 pm

auntblabby wrote:
hiya Why :) welcome to the club 8) I was sheltered also until adulthood, because my parents saw me as mentally retarded.


Well I wouldn't put it like that for me I've been on my own for a short period but stress always brings me back to my parents place.



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01 Nov 2014, 9:51 pm

I can relate. I have been away from home for about 5 months. I finally feel free to explore. I gave up Christianity a long time ago. Fundamentalism mixed with hypocrisy leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Nevertheless, I lived with my Christian fundamentalist mom my whole life meaning that I could not have a sex life (except for secret masturbation). I had to keep my religious beliefs (or lack thereof) a secret. I could not express myself. I also do not know what it means to hang out with people and have friends because I came from a clan (only socialize with family, no one else). Honestly, practically nobody in my extended family has close friends who are not siblings. I was not allowed to have close friends unless they were part of my family.

It makes one feel totally behind everyone else socially because one is not familiar with social norms in modern society. Once you get out on your own, you will be free. Until then, try to make the best of it. Do whatever it takes to become financially independent and to stay financially independent. Once you are out of your mother's house, you can do what you want!