Do other people genuinely care about anyone else?

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Do other people genuinely care about anyone else, or are they just being nice for other more selfish reasons?

Do you?

Yes I do. Sometimes I wonder if people are just nice for other reasons and not because they want to be your friend.

Yes, once in awhile. I generally look at everyone approaching me as seeking to obtain something, and I'm almost never wrong.

Once in a while are nice, or trying to get something out of you?

Sounds like your real question is, "Are people who are nice to ME actually nice, or do they just want something I have?" And the answer is, I don't know. I could tell if I heard them talk to you, but I can't generalize. But not everyone is a liar who's out for himself. There are genuine, kind and good people out there. I try hard to be one myself.

I have been known to buy cups of coffee for the homeless. Does that make me nice or does it on some level fulfill me psychologically. Bit of both I suppose. I only buy for the ones that strike a cord though.
Many that are nice for selfish reasons would never think that far and if you mention it they would go on the defensive and get angry and accuse you of being ungrateful.

?Abraham Lincoln illustrated the philosophical issue in a conversation with another passenger in a horse-drawn coach. After Lincoln argued that selfishness prompts all good deeds, he noticed a sow making a terrible noise. Her piglets had gotten into a pond and were in danger of drowning. Lincoln called the coach to a halt, jumped out, ran back, and lifted the little pigs to safety. Upon his return, his companion remarked, "Now, Abe, where does selfishness come in on this little episode?" "Why, bless your soul, Ed, that was the very essence of selfishness. I should have no peace of mind all day had I gone and left that suffering old sow worrying over those pigs.?

"Social Psychology" by David Myers (1999)

I remember reading this in a psychology book a while back. It stuck with me because I wonder about it too. I don't think the question can be answered objectively. I got the quote from this site (there's a lot more there on altruism):

http://www.humantruth.info/altruism.html

I think that most NT people are only kind to people whom they think can benefit them in some way.

I kind of feel in contrast to the thought that people only being nice so that they can get something from you.. I think that a lot of times, (Not Always!) people only take an interest in others because that is what is socially accepted. Take for example when someone asks "How are you?" Do they seriously care how you are doing or are they only asking that because that's what you are suppose to say after "Hello."?? I think that most of the time they don't care at all how I am doing. I think that a lot of social interaction is just doing what we are "suppose to." Sometimes it seems like no one actually cares. It's difficult for me to think that society is not based off of fake interaction and that people are not hidden behind these walls of societal requirements. I wish that we (as a planet) could just say what we actually think and not be burdened by being fake-- although I am sure there were evolutionary reasons for developing social code/ etiquette....

It really depends on the person and the context. I think there are some selfless acts but I also partially agree with what Abraham Lincoln said.

The impression I got from your question is that you were more curious about neurotypical people so that's how I'm going to answer it. Most neurotypical people I know are very caring. When I worked at a non profit agency that received donations for needy families, there were staff members who would go out and buy things for families. Since this act was prohibited because it crosses boundaries, those staff members would call the families and say that there were several things "dropped off at the door last night after hours and we think your family may like some of it. You're welcome to come down and look through it."

My 19 year old son worried last night because he did something and wondered if it may have offended his friend. He came to me several times and asked different questions about the situation and whether or not I thought his friend was hurt.

I think most people are good and they care about other people.

I would like to think people are genuinely nice to others for no reason.
But I am also massive cynic, so I tend to think people have an agenda behind everything...
But yeah, depends on the person and context. Everything is so damn grey...

I can't answer this definitively for others.

however, I don't think pure altruism is ever really possible.

As for myself? I think I care about other people. I mean I get genuinely upset when something happens to those who I consider close to me and who are labeled in my brain as "people I care about". I also demonstrate how I care for them by behaving in this manner and actively helping them with projects and talking and support, etc etc. Sometimes I just do stuff because i know it will make them happy...


But in all that?
The "caring" part makes ME happy. I get a lot out of it. I mean I get all that back. These are people I have known for years.

So it isn't like it is superficial and I'm pretending I give a crap but I'm calling it caring and I'm this emotional vampire who pretends to have an emotional investment in these interpersonal situations, but I really just want to feel like a good person. I just honestly feel happy to be able to make people happy and have solid reciprocal relationships such as those I describe.

So in a larger sense- I guess how are we defining caring?
And I'm not trying to nitpick. This is actually something I come back to often for myself.

I mean, I could say I do a lot of things that benefit other people- but again, it's because it genuinely makes me feel good to see people happy and fulfilled. And not in this superficial way where I'll be treated like I'm some amazing person, I just like being able to help so if I can it's my thing.


But if you look at any relationship, it is fair to say there should be a balance. When you strip it down, we create and maintain relationships for mutual benefit. So if you feel like someone is being nice to you because they want something? Maybe. But that doesn't necessarily mean the ulterior motive negates that they just want to be nice. A social transaction that benefits both parties doesn't make it less genuine. We are drawn to situations that are best for us. There are people who will simply use and take and not give back, yes. But there are also people who want to give what they get, etc.

I think this is just a really complex topic/question, honestly.

I have been mulling over it for years.

most people care for others due to some sense of 'karma' (or equivalent effects), they hope that being nice to others means others will be nice to them (either the helped person, someone who saw him help, or just a random stranger like he was).

this only bothers me a little, since the system usually works, if everyone is nice to others to recieve good karma, then they will recieve it, becouse others are nice to you, for the same reason.

i myself help others becouse it makes me feel good, not due to karma, but as long as it works, i wont criticize (a lot)

The best way to test this is to see how people treat you when you aren't in a position to be able to do them any favours.