9 YO still believes in Santa and Elf on the Shelf

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League_Girl
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30 Nov 2014, 12:39 pm

ASDMommyASDKid wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
ASDMommyASDKid wrote:
elkclan wrote:
Who are the rotten kids who are spoiling the fun of Santa? Who are the rotten parents who aren't telling them not to?
...

And what is Elf on the Shelf?


I don't think it makes a child a "rotten kid." It depends on the reason. Some kids do it to be nasty and to show the other child up as immature, naive and ignorant, but this is not necessarily so. Some kids think of it as a truth-telling thing. Some kids come from a different cultural tradition and don't feel they should have to play along. They aren't going to view it as an adult would and may or not check with their parents before sharing, I don't know that it is every parent's responsibility to proactively forestall that by telling their kids to keep it a secret. I don't think kids would necessarily listen, either.

Disclaimer: I was one of those "rotten" kids and I really did not look at it spoiling other kids' fun. My parents did not believe in teaching about Santa and honestly were probably annoyed about having to explain it when I asked them about it, wanting to know why Santa did not bring me anything.

They were, I would guess, more focused on that then worrying about safeguarding other people's deal. I am not saying it was a great way of looking at it. Naturally, they should have figured I would be exposed to Santa, and should have been prepared with something.

We do Santa here, and while I would have been disappointed if the fun was truncated, I really would not have been pissed at the kid who told him, unless it was otherwise connected to being picked on for being immature. That may just be because of my own personal background, though.

...

"Elf on a Shelf is a toy/book product where you put the toy elf on a mantle or shelf so it can report to Santa if your kid/s are good or not. I think people use it to motivate good behavior. We did not do that, but it is pretty popular.



I remember when I told my mom about Santa not being real, she told me to not tell my brothers or it will upset them and she told me to not ever tell the other kids at school or it will upset them and not tell any other kids or it will upset them.

If it's hadn't told me this, I may have gone around telling others because I would have thought they would be happy to hear he isn't real because it would explain the mistakes Santa did and why they didn't always get what they wanted for Christmas. I would have assumed they would have felt the same way I felt and then not understand why they are so upset.



My son is not especially materialistic, and never asks for expensive or even for specific things, so I never had to worry about this like other parents; but I wonder how parents handle that some kids will get what they asked for, and other kids won't. Poorer kids or parents that are more fiscally prudent get less stuff/less costly stuff than other kids. I wonder how that makes kids feel? At least with birthday presents a kid knows it is because of the parents/finances, but I wonder if they feel bad when Santa gives them worse stuff than other kids, especially if those other kids seem naughty. My parents never would have been able to manage explaining that. Do most kids think the presents were accidentally switched?



I have no idea. I never thought about it either, especially about parents who would have to explain to their kids if they are poor why some kids get bigger or better presents than they do. I was someone who wanted everything. I would look in the catalogs they used to do back in the days with toys where you order them from a magazine and they come to you and I would cut out every toy I liked and paste them to a paper and it would be like five pages. I would maybe only get one or two toys from the list and the rest that weren't on the list. It would be with something I really wanted I would get from my list.

I can remember my mom telling me my two cousins are poor because they don't have much money so I learned not all poor people wear holey clothes and life in houses with no running water or electricity because they lived in an apartment and had furniture and toys and TV and a VCR and food. My mom told me my grandparents bought them food or my aunts and they bring it over to them and my mom told me they didn't get much for Christmas. I said Santa brings them stuff so they do get a lot and my mom said they don't get much. I just thought Santa doesn't give poor kids much presents. I was eight. My mom didn't really explain to me why they didn't get much presents. I guess she didn't want to ruin the Christmas spirit. I still hadn't figured it out despite seeing Santa would use the same wrapping paper my parents had or give us toys I found somewhere in our home. I ca imagine a parent saying Santa sometimes wraps presents at their house and then put them under the tree or tell their kids sometimes Santa drops his presents off at their house for them to hide so he can wrap them when he arrives because he has too many toys to deliver and can't fit them all on their sleigh. When I was six, I thought my parents delivered my dollhouse for Santa from Montana because he wouldn't have been able to fit it down the chimney. But sadly they sold the dollhouse a few years back because my parents were moving and they were having an estate sale after my grandfather had passed and my grandma was living in a home for elderlies and the dollhouse would have been too big to store and bring out here so they told me they can always build me a new one and it's easy.

My husband thought it was cute when I told him I thought Santa made mistakes delivering presents to the wrong kids when my brother wanted a Sonic doll and I wanted the Little Mermaid fish tank and our friends got them instead. He is probably more rational and would have figured it out then if it happened to him. I look back and see all the signs of him not being real were all there and I still didn't figure it out I sometimes feel dumb for it. Then I feel better when I see how aspies still believing in him until an advanced or later age including NTs.


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WelcomeToHolland
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30 Nov 2014, 5:35 pm

ASDMommyASDKid wrote:
My son is not especially materialistic, and never asks for expensive or even for specific things, so I never had to worry about this like other parents; but I wonder how parents handle that some kids will get what they asked for, and other kids won't. Poorer kids or parents that are more fiscally prudent get less stuff/less costly stuff than other kids. I wonder how that makes kids feel? At least with birthday presents a kid knows it is because of the parents/finances, but I wonder if they feel bad when Santa gives them worse stuff than other kids, especially if those other kids seem naughty. My parents never would have been able to manage explaining that. Do most kids think the presents were accidentally switched?


When my friend's daughter found out (age 6-7, NT), she was really upset, not because Santa wasn't real, but because that meant poor children didn't get presents- she'd been assuming Santa brought them things. So they started doing the tree of angels and sending stuff to a third world country. There isn't really a good way to explain it.

Edited to format the quote.


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League_Girl
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01 Dec 2014, 3:32 pm

They do toy drives but I am not sure how families get those free toys. Where do they sign up for them and how do they know where to go for the help?


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RocketMom
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01 Dec 2014, 9:43 pm

League_Girl wrote:
They do toy drives but I am not sure how families get those free toys. Where do they sign up for them and how do they know where to go for the help?


Usually if you check with the local food banks, SNAP office, etc, they will know how to get on the lists. Local churches sometimes also adopt families. Around here they also do dinner pack drives, school backpack drives, and winter coat drives for families in need. :)