I have a very bad habit with lists.
And goals. I am too ambitious with my goals. For the year 2014, I wanted to accomplish all these things. But the stress in trying to do that offset what I was hoping to do most (move out of this city and continue my studies in new place).
It seems, inevitably, I am going to have to stay here another year before moving on with my life. That makes me very sad, but at the same time, I need to address a lot of issues (relating to performance and social anxiety should I want to continue my studies). I thought work experience would help with that. It's not helping in ways that I thought.
How do you deal with "overly ambitious" thoughts and goals? What do you recommend would be a best, stress-reducing strategy in tackling "to-do" lists?
I guess what stresses me out right now is that I don't like my job. I've been applying to a good 5 to 10 jobs a day and hope to hear back from several for an interview.
I'm not exactly happy with my savings account and don't think it's sufficient enough for me to leave this place and continue my studies elsewhere. I have lived here since 2001 and I need a change in scenery.
I want to pursue my creative projects (mainly writing. I freelance write for part-time income on top of the job I'm trying to get away from. Ideally, I'd love to just stay home and freelance write, but at the same time I want to improve my interpersonal skills).
I mean, I suppose I could just enroll in school come Fall 2015, but at the same time, I don't feel 1) mentally prepared yet (And I know that's sad because I was hoping to be ready to go back to school after a year from finishing undergrad. But now I've been taking a break for 2 years and 3 years kinda sounds sad to me. Meh), and 2) I'm so, so stingy about loans and stuff.
I am so disorganized. Just so confused. While I want to go back to school right away, I haven't felt that I'm where I want to be as a person to deserve that, or be capable of success when going back to school.
:/
29 Nov 2014, 12:05 am
