Almost happy - then it falls apart again

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I have had an AWFUL 2014.

-Kicked out of the home I loved in January
-Started getting really sick in February
-Work started going downhill, AUD$42k a year for 38 hours a week working for the government going flat out all day is unfair at best. As you can imagine, I can barely afford to live. My mother had to dig me out of a lot of scrapes and I hate it - I don't want my mother controlling my life anymore but I don't earn enough to run my own life, and if I ask for a pay rise I get told I need to manage my finances better!
-Went to Adelaide again in April, and while it was great to see my family, certain family members made the experience...unpleasant. Had an anxiety attack the moment I got home.
-Sometime in April/May, because I can't park off the street even though my tenancy agreement clearly states that I am entitled to off-street parking (my neighbours are gits) my beloved car got side-swiped by someone turning into our street.
-Mid-year I called the footy club, wondering where my letter from my sponsored player was. Apparently I'd been banned from sponsoring him due to "social media" incidents. They'd never called me, emailed me, sent me letters or anything to let me know what had happened, however they still took the money for the sponsorship. I was devastated as I love this player dearly, and I'd even been speaking to him two days before finding this out. I was 100% certain he was behind it and he'd never said anything to me. I'd later find out that he'd had no clue about what had gone on and had no problems with me whatsoever...well, that's what he said anyway.
-Finally had a date with someone from eHarmony...only for him to dump me after two dates. Haven't gotten a date since.
-The greatest friend I have ever had died. He might have only been a Beagle, but he was my dog since I was 10 years old - he was 2 weeks away from his 17th when he had a stroke. We had him put to sleep as he couldn't walk anymore. My sister and I took him to the creek one last time a few hours before he died and while he could still just lift his head to try and smell the smells he couldn't go running after them anymore and we knew we were doing the right thing but I still cry at night for him. Mum's cat went soon after, dying of a heart attack.
-Just as I thought things were starting to get better, my footy player decides to swap clubs to a completely different state. It hurts, but fair enough (although I wonder how much he was telling the truth about not having a problem with me...), although I think he's a hypocrite after he told me not to abandon the footy club (because they STILL won't tell me what these "social media" incidents were, and every other fan I've spoken to agrees they've stuffed up big time. They won't even return my calls or emails about the subject). The same day I find out this, my wallet with all my ID and debit cards goes missing and the USB with the book I was writing dies. Thankfully most of it was backed up but the chapter I had been writing that day hadn't been yet. Of course the icing on THAT cake is that a few days later going for a walk I completely smash my knee.y

So then I figure that things are going to start looking up soon. Mum tells me I should look on realestate.com.au and look at places and what happens? I find the perfect place. Only I can't have it because it's too expensive to break my lease. It feels like my ONE chance at being happy has been swiped from me again. I am so angry and upset right now. As for work, there's no way I can go today now.

I hate everything right now. I get the feeling I'm never going to be happy again.

And now I can't even get a call through to Beyond Blue to get some help. I can't even stay at work at the moment, voices send my heart-rate up and people talking directly to me scares me, even my close friends. I desperately need to get back into therapy but I can't afford it!

I bought my house when I was only on $39k/year but I live in a much cheaper regional area than you. AFAIK you live in a city? I consider it impossible to live on your salary in an expensive city, so don't blame yourself for your finances.

It makes me angry though, when I moved I also took on more responsibilities and workload at work, and yet they still don't see why they should up my pay. There are guys back where I used to live that are getting paid far more than me yet they do so much less than what I do (and I know what they do as I used to do it too!) and it's not fair, especially as we all work for the same company!

Got my medicare card back and spoke to Beyond Blue. They got me onto a community centre that can give me "free" counselling.

Everything will be okay I hope.

Just scared all the guys at work by going mute (which hasn't happened in years). Poor guys were a bit worried.

Just had a team meeting, I'm now throughly exhausted.

Did you bring these guys up as comparisons when asking for your own payrise? Is there any middle manager or any sort of superior who is supportive of you and can help advocate for a payrise to the head manager above them? That's what I had to do to get mine at the end of last year. Office politic crap had to play out first (it took about 6 months from asking before I got the promotion and payrise along with it, very frustrating).
When was your last payrise too? Your salary should at least increase by about 5% every few years or so in line with inflation and increased cost of living. Check you're on the correct award too.

5% increase every year? Most of the guys I work with haven't seen a pay increase since they started working with the company! I only got a payrise because the manager at the time was decent, but unfortunately he couldn't give me much (there are others in the same boat as me in the region). The only way to get anything is to threaten to quit, and I've already done that once (to get my transfer), I'm not about to tempt fate again.

Anyway, I found a medical centre that does bulk billing, so tomorrow I'm going in to get a referral to a psychiatrist (10 free sessions yay!) and hopefully work on my lingering issues.

I'm in a different situation but I know how you feel. Every time I'm finally feeling happy again, something just comes up and crushes my soul. I'm sorry about everything that happened to you.

So my favourite players new team was up here for their training camp, so I thought I'd go along (seeing as I'm now a member of both clubs).

The plan was: Go to training, get told by player that he's sick of me and he never wants to see me again. Go home, cry to Mum, the moment my new membership gear gets in burn it (the old joke is "microwaving the membership" as you can't rip up the plastic cards they use), forget about him forever and stick with my old club even though they have treated me like complete and utter dirt.

What actually happened: Player in question was quite happy to see me. Can't really microwave my membership when he's still very lovely to me. Looks like I'm still a two-club fan.

We won't go into the taxi drama, which was my own fault and I never want to think about again.

My solution would be to move back over the range. Get a gas related job, and buy a Porsche.
Results may differ from patient to patient with the Porsche part.

Hell is other people. Never understood why country kids move to the city. Think you got east and west mixed up. I don't know how you could stand Oakey let alone Brisbane. I grew up in Noosa, I would never move back to the coast after heading west. Easier living around 4 legged animals instead of being packed in tight with the 2 legged variety. That goes for 911 denting roos as well

The real questions are, what do you really need?. Do you really need what you want? Are the things you are doing really going to get you what you need? If they are, is the stress they cause worth the result? Are there less direct/expedient ways to get what you need that will cause less stress in the long run?

Ignore conventional wisdom and figure what you are really going to need and the best way to get those things based on your own criteria to define "best". Your only insane if you keep trying the same type of things expecting a different result. Learn to let go and find new things.