Could you be a friend with a christian?

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white_as_snow
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09 Dec 2014, 7:49 pm

Should I be open with that im a christian? Seems like people dont like christians. Muslims/jews/hindu/buddhists and other religions are more accepted. Its like they are "exotic".

Im not a christian extremist, I dont talk about my faith to others and I dont need to, and for me, Jesus is a teacher of love and respect.

Could you be friend with a christian?



Skibz888
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09 Dec 2014, 8:05 pm

I am friends with devout Christians, and I'm friends with radical atheists, Jews and irreligious people. In all cases, I'm friends with people who, despite their wildly varying personal beliefs, can still get along with each other.

It doesn't matter what religion (or gender or sexuality or race, etc.) your friends are, all that truly matters is that they aren't a**holes.



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09 Dec 2014, 8:11 pm

I am friendly toward many Christians, but not many Christians are friendly toward me. This is because I have actually read the Bible, and consider it to have been written by men solely to support patriarchal dominance and to justify slavery, conquest by genocide, and the repression of women and minorities. I tell them this, and instead of reasoning with me, they call me "mentally ill", "heretical", and a "damned trouble-maker". So much for the religion of love and forgiveness.

Even the Gospels seem to have been written as opiates to free-thinking and the desire for freedom.


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Aspergirl14
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09 Dec 2014, 8:17 pm

Yes, I can be friends with most anyone really, regardless of sex, religion, age, etc. So long as they're polite and respectful. And accept my right to have different opinions to them, regarding their religious beliefs.



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09 Dec 2014, 9:00 pm

Considering I'm a Christian, yes, but I consider myself pretty liberal. Most of my friends and other young Christians I've met seem to share my same views, so hopefully things will change in the future. I'm open to being friends with any who respects me; if they can do that, then I can respect them as well. The only problem is that most of the atheists I've met have been hostile to Christians. It's a shame because I know that everyone doesn't feel that way, so it gives people the wrong impression. :/


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Skibz888
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09 Dec 2014, 9:04 pm

Fnord wrote:
I tell them this, and instead of reasoning with me, they call me "mentally ill", "heretical", and a "damned trouble-maker". So much for the religion of love and forgiveness.


"I merely tell these people that everything they believe is wrong and they have the nerve to get mad at me! I just don't understand it!"



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09 Dec 2014, 10:43 pm

Yes. I am an atheist, however, I have friends that are Buddhist, Christians, Santeros, Agnostics, etc…I don't care what religion you are as long as you do not hurt people and either accept everyone that is good or keep your mouth shut if you don't accept their lifestyle. I don't go around making fun of any religion although I do not believe in any, but I have found that MOST people I know that suspect I am not a Christian start moving away from me, so I just keep my thoughts to myself.



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09 Dec 2014, 11:30 pm

white_as_snow wrote:
Should I be open with that im a christian?


Yes you should be, unless you want to put up with a slightly awkward, possibly less-than-fulfilling and somewhat shallow relationship built on deception by omission. You aren't having a genuine relationship if you are hiding important parts of yourself (assuming Christianity is important to you).

Quote:
Could you be friend with a christian?


When I was younger. Not anymore. But that goes for several different sorts of people as well.


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10 Dec 2014, 12:54 am

I think most people don't care what religion you are (or if you are atheist) unless you start preaching or trying to change their beliefs.

Fnord, that applies to you too.


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Evil_Chuck
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10 Dec 2014, 4:24 am

Sure. I've been friends with many Christians in the past, even some Christian Conservatives. My best friend in middle school was a Jehovah's Witness. He never talked to me about his religion at all. For my part, I don't advertise being agnostic. Keeping the religious talk to a minimum is usually the best thing for both sides.


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eric76
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10 Dec 2014, 4:31 am

white_as_snow wrote:
Should I be open with that im a christian? Seems like people dont like christians. Muslims/jews/hindu/buddhists and other religions are more accepted. Its like they are "exotic".

Im not a christian extremist, I dont talk about my faith to others and I dont need to, and for me, Jesus is a teacher of love and respect.

Could you be friend with a christian?


Of course.

Most people I know are Christians. My community is more than 90% Lutheran.



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10 Dec 2014, 7:33 am

Skibz888 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
I tell them this, and instead of reasoning with me, they call me "mentally ill", "heretical", and a "damned trouble-maker". So much for the religion of love and forgiveness.
"I merely tell these people that everything they believe is wrong and they have the nerve to get mad at me! I just don't understand it!"
Yeah! And just ... Yeah!

Okay, so I come on a little strong with my Biblical understanding; just like an evangelist who is determined to prove that everybody is a sinner and going straight to Hell when they die.

But what of it? All I'm doing is sharing what I've learned from the Bible, and using valid Biblical references to support my findings - same Bible, different conclusions. I'm not trying to change their beliefs, just add to them.

It's like when I present a fact-based argument against what someone has posted in WP - because they can not refute the facts or dispute the reasoning, they resort to personal attacks against me.

That's when I know that I'm right.

The Bible is an interesting document, including stories about murder, incest, theft, lies, slavery, fraud, perjury, torture ... Yet Christians seem to have some form of selective blindness when it comes to those parts of the Bible. They seem to act as if those parts don't matter, and that anyone who knows about them - especially those of us who speak of them - are blasphemous creatures undeserving of love and mercy.

And THAT is why I don't have many Christian friends.


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Skibz888
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10 Dec 2014, 9:17 am

Fnord wrote:
Okay, so I come on a little strong with my Biblical understanding; just like an evangelist who is determined to prove that everybody is a sinner and going straight to Hell when they die.

But what of it? All I'm doing is sharing what I've learned from the Bible, and using valid Biblical references to support my findings - same Bible, different conclusions. I'm not trying to change their beliefs, just add to them.

It's like when I present a fact-based argument against what someone has posted in WP - because they can not refute the facts or dispute the reasoning, they resort to personal attacks against me.

That's when I know that I'm right.

The Bible is an interesting document, including stories about murder, incest, theft, lies, slavery, fraud, perjury, torture ... Yet Christians seem to have some form of selective blindness when it comes to those parts of the Bible. They seem to act as if those parts don't matter, and that anyone who knows about them - especially those of us who speak of them - are blasphemous creatures undeserving of love and mercy.

And THAT is why I don't have many Christian friends.


The question here is, do they ask to hear these things from you? Who truly is benefiting from your decision to "add to their beliefs", because the way you describe it, it sounds like you're only doing it purely out of your own self-interest. Your direct comparison to overbearing evangelists hits the nail on the head; I just don't see why you would use overbearing Christians as a justification for aggressive atheism, and much less so why someone such as yourself would even be in seemingly regular company with conservative Christians to begin with.

I have close friends who are radical atheists - we're talking people who even wear t-shirts which read "Wash Hands After Handling Christians" - and I've seen them make their dislike and mockery of Abrahamic religions well-known online but I've still seen them interact civilly with Christians and Jews (and vice versa) because they're still decent human beings who can have conversations which don't center around deconstructing or disseminating each others' belief systems. And even when we debate matters of theology, we still remain friends because our relationship is founded on a multitude of other factors. An ontological discussion between my atheist friends is really no more heated than arguing over movies...although, to be fair, I am a flaming liberal who's studied theology and comparative religion for several years, so it's not like I'm an uneducated, gun-hugging Fox News viewer (which is likely why I seem to always argue with other Christians more than I ever do atheists).

The point is, regardless of anyone's spiritual affiliation or lack thereof, I still follow the Golden Rule: don't be a dick. I stand firmly by my own beliefs and I'm not shy about defending them, and I respect other peoples' rights to do the same. What works for them is what works for them. If we can still maintain a friendship or professional relationship in spite of those differences, then awesome, but if it's a big enough deal to drive a wedge between us, then our friendship likely wasn't strong enough to begin with. Those are my thoughts on the matter.



Fnord
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10 Dec 2014, 9:58 am

Do they ask?! !

:lol:

Of course they do! During every Bible study and Sunday School, the leader will ask something like, "What are your thoughts on the passage you've just read?"

So I tell them - not what they want me to say, but what I actually think about the passage - and I tell them truthfully.

You wouldn't want me to lie to them, now would you?

:lol:


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Skibz888
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10 Dec 2014, 3:41 pm

Your response somehow raises more questions than it answers. Not too many self-avowed atheists consistently attend Bible studies and Sunday school.



Fnord
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10 Dec 2014, 7:51 pm

Skibz888 wrote:
Your response somehow raises more questions than it answers. Not too many self-avowed atheists consistently attend Bible studies and Sunday school.
I am not an Atheist. I just hate religion.

But if you want me to change my point of view, then all you have to do is: (1) Show me a religion that teaches love, tolerance, charity, mercy and respect; and then (2) Show me a clergy and a congregation within that religion that actually practices those lessons on everyone, everywhere, all of the time, under all conditions, and without exception.


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