Why do Aspies find it hard to tidy / keep the house tidy?

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How tidy is your home?
Completely cluttered 31%  31%  [ 36 ]
'Homely' cluttered 36%  36%  [ 42 ]
Well-organised by myself 18%  18%  [ 21 ]
Well-organised by parents 9%  9%  [ 11 ]
Well-organised by spouse 3%  3%  [ 3 ]
Well-organised by paid help 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
Well-organised by government help 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Well-organised by volunteer help 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Extremely well organised by myself 3%  3%  [ 4 ]
Total votes : 118

Felinelover
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14 Dec 2014, 7:08 am

I've never been a tidy person; driving first my parents and now my husband insane.

I've recently come across this very issue in writings of other Aspies. That they too always have cluttered, disorganized houses.

The first official Aspie I got to know (way before I realised I am one myself) is a super tidy person; mega organized in every single way. This is one reason why I didn't suspect I was an Aspie too, although I was in other ways uncannily similar to said friend of mine (straight talking; special interest music, literature and science; very logical and constantly analytical; deeply emotional; feeling injustices of the world deeply).

So what's this about then that so many Aspies find it hard to tidy? Aren't we supposed to be organised? Or are the super organisational aspects a compensatory method that is the only way an Aspie can manage to manage the household and its chores?

Do you keep your house tidy? How? And if you don't, how do you cope in everyday life, ie where do you get help from, or do you just live in a pile of clutter (like I used to as a single woman)?


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rebbieh
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14 Dec 2014, 7:22 am

I'm generally a very organized person. I plan and organize everything in order to avoid chaos. I do, however, have problems keeping things tidy at home. It's weird because some things at home are extremely organized while others aren't. My bookshelves are extremely organized and tidy (maybe because books are one of my interests?) but I find it difficult to get going when it comes to cleaning (as in hoovering etc) and keeping certain other parts of my home organized. I don't know why there's such a difference between my shelves and the rest of the room.

The thing is I get stressed out when it's messy at home and when I do manage to tidy up and organize the rest of my room I notice how I feel better and calmer. But for some reason it's really difficult to get started. I'm pretty much always very tired when I get home from a day at university and then I prioritize things such as reading, watching TV-series and resting over cleaning.



BobinPgh
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14 Dec 2014, 7:57 am

I do think low energy levels have a lot to do with lack of organization or neatness.



LokiofSassgard
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14 Dec 2014, 11:55 am

I think for me, it's due to the lack of executive functioning. Cleaning has never been one of my strong suits. I mean seriously... you should see my room. XD Then again, I have a lot of stuff and a small room. My mom is quite cleansy though, but it's not enough so that everything has to be spotless. Same with my dad.


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r2d2
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14 Dec 2014, 12:05 pm

I have gone through periods where I was okay at it. But, I guess there is something inside of me that would turn a luxury suite at the Plaza in New York into a bat cave or hobbit hole. No matter how beautiful a view I have - I know that instinctively I will end up with all the windows shut and the doors double locked. I guess being a bit messy or untidy for me is part of walling off a comfort zone where I feel cozy and safe.


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BassAlien
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14 Dec 2014, 2:54 pm

Personally, my flat is above average in terms of tidiness, now that I live alone and have complete control over where everything goes. When I had a house with my ex, her patterns disrupted mine to such an extent that I put only a fraction of the effort into tidying, as the thought of battling against another person's patterns tired me out. Also, I think that as a perfectionist, sometimes it is difficult to start a task for fear of completing a task to a substandard quality.



violetpinks
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14 Dec 2014, 3:11 pm

BassAlien wrote:
Personally, my flat is above average in terms of tidiness, now that I live alone and have complete control over where everything goes. When I had a house with my ex, her patterns disrupted mine to such an extent that I put only a fraction of the effort into tidying, as the thought of battling against another person's patterns tired me out. Also, I think that as a perfectionist, sometimes it is difficult to start a task for fear of completing a task to a substandard quality.


I have to agree here with your statement when it comes to living with significant others who have no sense of cleanliness or tidiness whatsoever. It is hard to live with someone who is opposite in cleaning habits (maybe not so much as organizational as long as the disorganized mess involves clean things). My ex was extremely relaxed about being clean and it made it extremely hard to coexist when I would try hard to make sure food was not laying around while he watched TV (he was NT by the way). It was like a swimmer trying to swim against a current when it came to keeping up the house chores. I am glad that we are no longer together for that reason alone. It was just too hard to live that way and no, that is not the reason we are no longer together, it was just one of those habits I accepted he had for as long as I could and I am sure he had issues with me as well.



ICollectWatches
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14 Dec 2014, 3:12 pm

Procrastination.
Low pay-off. Lack of social pressure, and I can find things just fine.
Too many interests, too little space.

I'd like to get rid of everything I haven't used in the last couple years, and then move. I really don't like clutter, but lack enough motivation to do anything about it. And everything seems too precious (or potentially sell-able) to part with.

Maybe I should burn the place to the ground and start over :)



mel113
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14 Dec 2014, 4:00 pm

My room is a disaster, I'm always in trouble at work for not keeping things cleaner and my parents are threatening to kick me out if I don't start cleaning more :(



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14 Dec 2014, 4:04 pm

My difficulties have a lot to do with "being in my own little world", being stuck in my interests or activities, not being aware of my surroundings, huge issues keeping track of time, forgetfulness, anxiety, and doing things in an order I have been told doesn't make sense.



Edna3362
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14 Dec 2014, 4:36 pm

I'm rather more organized. Unless I'm living WITH someone else that is. If I have my *OWN* room, I wouldn't let anyone to get any of their stuffs inside so I wont be bothered but NOPES! My room kept being stolen by my sister.

The only major mess around my house is too many clothes scattering around. *I* don't change or even own that much clothes, then they'll point me being lazy for it. -.- Or being irresponsible for losing some clothes because of it. I DID NOT TOUCH A THING XD I DID NOT EVEN MADE A MESS lol... I only put my things at the same place, ended up missing because someone else took it. It's annoying. I don't want to do any of it again just to do it again. Especially the fact that when I DID, someone would COMPLAIN for it. I hate being bothered because of that.

I could have been better at cleaning if it wasn't for my persistent allergy, which that makes me sneeze whenever with or no reason especially when I end up smelling chemicals.
It's up to you if you think I'm making excuses tho, because I won't able to stay long to finish major cleaning jobs. The longer I'm doing anything that involves dusting or smelling chemicals, the harder I breathe after continuously having an allergic reaction. (really, can you breathe EASILY while sneezing every 30 seconds, for straight minutes/hours without a feeling like your lungs going numb or a rib cage felt like being torn apart?) "Avoiding" the allergy means no cleaning at all. No anti-histamines helped that either. Masking myself doesn't protect my eyes from being irritated. Wearing a goggle (tight or loose) gives me a literal headache for wearing it for too long. And breathing through the mouth would give me a cough instead, and eventually back to sneezing again.

^ It seems that the normal size font is 100. This is 75.

And I turned lazier afterwards. I only do any housekeeping whenever my mom asks me to. But I swear if I have my own house, I'll be very strict for it.


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btbnnyr
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14 Dec 2014, 4:59 pm

I like to be organized and have all objects in certain positions with certain orientations.
If my room gets cluttered and dirty, it's because I was too lazy to tidy or clean.


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14 Dec 2014, 6:55 pm

I would dearly love to be spotlessly clean and organised, sometimes I am, but it never lasts for long.
So busy with other more important things like going to work or I just cannot be bothered, its soon becomes a mess again.

Whats the point in being clean and tidy when in a matter of days everything reverts back to chaos.
Thats obviously the way the universe was meant to be, who am I to fight it?



EzraS
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14 Dec 2014, 11:08 pm

My room has always been pretty messy.



seaturtleisland
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15 Dec 2014, 4:32 am

Executive dysfunction + unlimited internet = giant mess