Do you ever feel jealous of other people's relationships?

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Butterfiend
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19 Dec 2014, 9:23 pm

I look at people I know that have awesome relationships with people they love and they are loved back. I feel sad because I've never had anything like that(came close once, but it didn't work out :cry: ) I see them and wonder how they do it. Do other people feel this way?


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Radiofixr
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19 Dec 2014, 10:00 pm

I feel the same way and I also hate going to the mall or book store or other public place and seeing people together and being with someone and knowing there is and will never seem to be anyone for me.


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sly279
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20 Dec 2014, 3:53 am

same and extended to just seeing women. every woman just makes me remember who sh***y and worthless they see me.



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20 Dec 2014, 10:22 am

I used to think like this and still regularly have these thoughts, but I am starting to warm up to the idea that I am actually a cool, desirable and loveable young woman. I am dating a guy that really really really likes me so I must be doing something right. What helped me is to just start dating. Multiple people. Scary in the beginning but it made me realize getting a relationship is a numbers game as well.



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20 Dec 2014, 2:32 pm

Yes. But then again, I see a lot of people in unhappy relationships too.



KayteeKay
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04 Jan 2015, 8:29 am

sly279 wrote:
same and extended to just seeing women. every woman just makes me remember who sh***y and worthless they see me.


And seething with jealousy and resentment about women you don't know, have never even spoken to, who are going about their days is an effective dating strategy, how, exactly?



AspergersActor8693
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04 Jan 2015, 12:01 pm

I do kind of envy seeing other people in happy relationships since I haven't had that in quite some time. But overall I don't get too bothered by it because I know that the right woman for me will come along and I am happy for my friends that are currently in relationships.



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04 Jan 2015, 12:03 pm

I feel some envy toward happy families, since I did not grow up in one. Otherwise, not so much.


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04 Jan 2015, 4:37 pm

It tends to make me depressed because I'm pretty sensitive to seeing the perspective of "oh he's only with her because of that" and "she's only with him because of this", makes it just seem so utterly carnal. Celebrity couples are especially brutal because the vanity isn't even hidden, it's right there in plain sight.



sly279
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04 Jan 2015, 4:57 pm

KayteeKay wrote:
sly279 wrote:
same and extended to just seeing women. every woman just makes me remember who sh***y and worthless they see me.


And seething with jealousy and resentment about women you don't know, have never even spoken to, who are going about their days is an effective dating strategy, how, exactly?


wow. did you register here just to attack people? like most of your 15 post are just attacks on people.

jealousy of women. o.O how would that work. think I would have to be jealous of men with women as i don't want to be a woman.

dating strategy o.O this thread has nothing to do with dating and my post is more about how depressed it makes me not resentment.



andrethemoogle
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04 Jan 2015, 6:48 pm

I don't. Jealousy in my opinion is not a healthy thing to have going for you, for relationships or for anything in general.



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05 Jan 2015, 12:11 am

Butterfiend wrote:
I look at people I know that have awesome relationships with people they love and they are loved back. I feel sad because I've never had anything like that(came close once, but it didn't work out :cry: ) I see them and wonder how they do it. Do other people feel this way?


No. Because I hear about other people's relationships all day long. Even those in stable and obstensibly happy relationships are in relationships that I personally would not enjoy. Their way of relating to each other, their common goals and the copious amounts of dreams both partners have to bury in order to be together just doesn't sound enticing to me at all.

I've also been in four long term relationships (each one lasting between 1-8yrs) and my own experience of them was pretty much the same. Far too many compromises, far too little satisfaction from mere human companionship, inevitable differences in perspectives that throw up the very real possibility of a permanent split. Lots of emotional rollercoasters that I did not enjoy.

It's why I no longer seek our relationships.


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05 Jan 2015, 12:58 am

Depends on the relationship. Several of my classmates as an undergraduate 35 years ago are very happily married. I get quite jealous of them at times, since I'll probably never know that kind of happiness :( . Then again, marriage involves responsibilty, something I never really wanted. All I need to do is look at #2 brother, and his failed marriage. He's a cheapskate, even in the best of times, and his ex was always a slut, something he found out way too late, after 15 years of marriage and an adopted daughter. I have no love for his current wife, either, but that's a different story.



arnoldmcguire335
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05 Jan 2015, 2:11 am

sly279 wrote:
same and extended to just seeing women. every woman just makes me remember who sh***y and worthless they see me.

Same here... esp. if it's the girls I befriended on FB but never notice me. Most of them being NT's.
I think I'm gonna cry... :cry:


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05 Jan 2015, 2:25 am

Not really. Perhaps some envious feelings towards cohesive families (can't even imagine what that must be like), but even though my own life in this regard requires patience and self-restraint, I can learn far more from it than most people do in their relationships. Watching my own family disintegrate as a kid imbued loyalty and resolve that takes quite some time for any girls I know to understand. I've said it before; cberg don't do breakups. I'm either a friend for life or I completely disappear.


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05 Jan 2015, 5:41 am

cberg wrote:
Not really. Perhaps some envious feelings towards cohesive families (can't even imagine what that must be like), but even though my own life in this regard requires patience and self-restraint, I can learn far more from it than most people do in their relationships. Watching my own family disintegrate as a kid imbued loyalty and resolve that takes quite some time for any girls I know to understand. I've said it before; cberg don't do breakups. I'm either a friend for life or I completely disappear.

Took the words right from my mouth