Rape and Assault

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Waiting for an "express" verbal consent for sex is like waiting for an express verbal request for help from a choking victim before "assaulting" them with the Heimlich maneuver.

It will be unlikely to get either for equally biological reasons.
If you wait for express verbal consent, life will not go very well for anyone involved.

But you better be really careful about reading the signals and be ready to 'change course' at once if indicated.
Love, romance, and rescue should all be done with passion and verve!


Unless you're a dork and then make the b*tch work for it...

That's certainly an, um, vile and quite likely to get you 1) known as a slimy, borderline rape-y sleazeball all females in a three-state region will sensibly avoid and/or 2) eventually accused of sexual assault, by a woman whose boundaries you chose to try to push your luck with. Awful.

The fact you won't ASK if she's enjoying herself, wants to go further? Certainly suggest that any woman given the opportunity to CONSIDER whether she's enjoying hooking up with you will FLEE.

There are a lot of ways to ask your partner if they want to do something or if they want to continue:
"Feel like having some fun tonight?"
"Help me put the condom on?"
"Is that good?"
"Are you OK?"
"Comfortable?"
"Show me how you want me to touch you."
"Tell me what you want."
"Do you want me to slow down?"
"Do you want to try another position?"
"You feel like using the _____?"
"Do you feel like trying _________ tonight?"
"Does that feel good?"
"Do you want me to try that on you?"
"Do you still want to _____?"


If your sexual partner is choking during sex, you might be doing it wrong. If they're choking during sex and you don't have a previously established signal to stop, you're definitely doing it wrong.

Found It!
A good cartoon guide:
http://www.ohjoysextoy.com/consent/

I'm interested in hearing about those biological reasons why a conscious, alert, and above all intelligent woman who wants someone to proceed further can't communicate that fact verbally. Unlike, say, the choking victim whose trachea is blocked by a chunk of food and thus biologically unable to speak.

Huh?

You want sex?

Seems pretty simple.

Is that an offer?

I'm always down with getting it on with a special friend.

First of all, I do like the fact that there are people here who believe in straight up asking.

But really, it can't be done in today's society.

Why? Because people have a tendency to beat around the bush.

And why do people have a tendency to beat around the bush?

Because people who are direct and honest will be labeled as desperate or wheedling.

Thus, we have all this passive-aggressive wishy-washy behavior.

Sucks, huh?

Only if you choose to participate in the wushu-washy-ness cynical waffle!

You CAN ask a woman if she's comfortable doing more sexually. You CAN care enough to only WANT sex with a woman who is (at that precise moment in time) WANTING to have sex with you. And if risking being perceived as passive-agressive as a result happens? So be it. It's screens out the women you don't wanna be dating.

(And if one woman rejects you? You're not willing to "risk" asking? Because no other woman would ever have sex w/you again as a result?? Umm, that's not how the world works dude!

Nobody likes sex even if they do you have to ask what they like what they want how to do this and that just remain abstinent and avoid sex all together to preserve your innocence! If someone wants to have sex with you just reject their offer they might get mad or cry but at least you have your dignity and know your not in it just for the sex! Or not I ended a relationship with a woman quickly doing that because i followed the advice from my ex! She told me if a woman offers to have sex with you refuse thus giving her the idea your not in it for the sex and she will respect you etc well..it had the opposite effect!

First of all, most people do like sex, both men and women as long as it's consensual and secondly that advice that your ex-girlfriend gave you is only good advice if it's the case that you do want more than just sex and want to wait get to know each other first. Most women who ask to have sex do so because they want to have sex. Not to mention that there are also women who are into it just for the sex, so that description is not exclusive to men. If you both want to have sex, then I don't see the reason not to but if she's the one who's only in it for the sex and you're not, and she dumps you for that then I'm not sure that you would want to have a relationship with her anyway.

If they only want sex they should tell me ahead of time theres a fine line between FWBs and an actual relationship I hate being played and my emotions wasted like that.