Page 1 of 9 [ 141 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 9  Next

ReticentJaeger
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2014
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,122
Location: Bigoted Texas

08 Feb 2015, 2:33 pm

I've noticed that a lot of NTs do things that I'm surprised aren't considered rude. Or maybe they are, but no one's said anything.

Interrupting a conversation to say 'hi'. This happens a lot at my church. Whether it's me talking to friends, my parents talking to me, or my parents talking to friends, people are always interrupting to say hi. This alone might not be considered rude (though it does annoy me to no end), but sometimes the newcomer will start asking a bunch of other questions and start their own conversation with the person. Sometimes I'm interrupted mid-sentence. I just don't understand how this is socially acceptable.

Talking to someone who's reading a book. "What are you reading?" "Do you like it?" "What's it about?" "Are you seeing the movie?" "My daughter's read that!" It's probably not just NTs who do this, but enough people do so it seems to be normal behavior.

Has anyone else noticed something that NTs—or just people in general—do that appears rude to you?


_________________
Currently screaming/sobbing/grieving over figure skaters.


TheAP
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Dec 2014
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,314
Location: Canada

08 Feb 2015, 2:44 pm

Interrupting people when they're saying something. I've noticed this happen in a group of NT friends. It's annoying, because autistic people are told not to interrupt others, but NTs do the same thing all the time and they aren't thought of as rude or weird for it.

Not responding when someone tries to join a conversation, if that person is considered weird or doesn't fit in.

Not including everyone in a conversation. Ignoring certain people in the group.

Saying things behind people's backs that they would never say to their face.

Whispering during a talk or performance.



ReticentJaeger
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2014
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,122
Location: Bigoted Texas

08 Feb 2015, 3:03 pm

TheAP wrote:
Interrupting people when they're saying something. I've noticed this happen in a group of NT friends. It's annoying, because autistic people are told not to interrupt others, but NTs do the same thing all the time and they aren't thought of as rude or weird for it.


This made me remember some things. I do see this a lot, and when it's done to me I struggle to spit out the remainder of my sentence because my voice is never even near as loud as the other person's. I can't watch interviews for this reason. I get agitated when the interviewee is answering a question and the interviewer feels like he/she has to interject. Let them talk!

It also bugs me when someone's making an announcement and people start clapping before they're. Sometimes I miss information, or I panic because I think I am.


_________________
Currently screaming/sobbing/grieving over figure skaters.


Dantac
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,672
Location: Florida

08 Feb 2015, 3:21 pm

You're talking to someone on the phone and they start talking to you.

...and then THEY get upset when I show them the palm of my hand to make them stop since I can't keep track of what two people are saying at once, each in one of my ears.



avhärda
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2015
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 15

08 Feb 2015, 4:07 pm

Just in general not showing interest in me. I'm one of those people that finds everything about the world and other people fascinating and always wants to hear more. I love hearing new things and listening to people talk, even if I don't know them well at all. I always give my undivided attention if someone wants to tell me something. It also makes me feel liked if someone voluntarily wants to share something with me. But (excluding the few friends I have) I feel like no one cares about anything I enjoy or want to say, nor do they enjoy my company, and they don't even pretend to. I wish in the adult world friendships worked like in childhood.

Another thing I've never understood is how people never have time for friends. Instead they're caught up with their partner/spouse/whatever, or with work/school, or family issues, or whatever. Always. Again I wish this worked like in childhood... all you had to do was go knock on the door and ask "wanna come out and play?". (of course I would prefer a phone call to a knock on the door so that I have slightly more time to adjust to the abrupt change of schedule and won't get a panic attack haha :roll: )

Sorry these are kind of broad, don't know if this post even answers the original question haha. :jester:


_________________
23/M/EU

The cleaner. The baker. Living in my own JRPG-world.

Aspie: 99/200
NT: 112/200


dianthus
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,138

08 Feb 2015, 4:52 pm

ReticentJaeger wrote:
Interrupting a conversation to say 'hi'.

Talking to someone who's reading a book.


I agree with both of these and it doesn't just appear rude. In most cases it IS rude.

I especially dislike it when store clerks interrupt while I am talking to ask if I need help.

Or in a restaurant, when the server comes by to ask if you need anything...of course it's inevitable that they are going to interrupt the meal, but some of them are very rude about it. They just butt in very abruptly while someone is speaking. They act like they are just going to keep walking past your table if someone doesn't call out a response immediately. If you gesture for them to wait while you finish chewing, they stare very intensely watching you chew the food, like they are mentally trying to force you to swallow faster. lol Or when the first person responds that everything is okay, they don't wait to see if anyone else at the table has something to say, they just move on.

In general, I find it very rude when people ask questions and don't pause to hear a response.

Dantac wrote:
You're talking to someone on the phone and they start talking to you.

...and then THEY get upset when I show them the palm of my hand to make them stop since I can't keep track of what two people are saying at once, each in one of my ears.


OMG. Yeah. One time this happened to me on a merchandising job. I visited this store once a week to stock and straighten the book section. Sometimes I would talk on the phone to my supervisor while I was working. One day the store manager came up and started talking to me while I was on the phone. I put my hand up because I couldn't carry on two conversations at once. All I intended was to signal, hold on a minute. She reacted like I had pulled a gun on her. Yelled at me that I had better NEVER put my hand up to her again. Total biotch. I quit servicing that store not long after that.



TheAP
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Dec 2014
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,314
Location: Canada

08 Feb 2015, 4:56 pm

ReticentJaeger wrote:

Talking to someone who's reading a book.

This annoys me. I don't really like to talk about the books I'm reading, and I'd rather just be left alone to read in peace.



Hansgrohe
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2013
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Posts: 329
Location: Oakland, CA

08 Feb 2015, 5:32 pm

Loud music. To this day I just don't get the neurotypical fascination of having to blare up the music to ungodly levels and act like a douche. It's worse because as an autistic person I'm noise-sensitive. Hell, my school does this a lot during lunch time. Never understood why NTs don't understand the concept of peace and quiet.

In that regard, it's freaking hypocrisy why I'm not allowed to listen to my headphones in class. Again, a lot NTs feel the need to be as loud as they can in school, and listening to my headphones helps at least block out their muck. Unfortunately some teachers have such a hard time grasping the concept of moderately-paced music allowing me to do my work in peace. Basically, I consider loudness to be an incredibly rude thing that NTs do, and they're hypocrites about it as well.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 102,027
Location: Hanging out with my fellow Sweet Peas at Stalag 13

08 Feb 2015, 5:39 pm

Talking like Valley Girls and rolling their eyes, if they're female.

Talking like chavs and making hand gestures, if they're male.


_________________
Schultz

viewtopic.php?f=11&t=26&start=645


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,792
Location: Maidstone, UK

08 Feb 2015, 7:08 pm

Walking into a room where people are having a consideration, whether it's private or not, and jumping their way into the conversation too. I notice people doing this all the time, and then one time when I done it (I was interested in some sort of casual gossip), they verbally attacked me, making me feel humiliated. Double standards.

When people start whispering about somebody and making it obvious to that person. I could never do that. I hate making someone feel self-conscious about themselves, and I'd thought NTs would know better than me to feel that way too.


_________________
Female
Aged 30
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder


olympiadis
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jun 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,849
Location: Fairview Heights Illinois

08 Feb 2015, 8:28 pm

Interrupting is a very big one.

Perhaps if you speak softly and monotone, then they assume what you're saying isn't of value.

Also they will break in and try to change the subject before you are finished speaking about something.

They try to hurry you through explanations by telling you "yes I understand/know" when they really do not have a functional understanding at all.



Edna3362
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,397
Location: South East Asia

08 Feb 2015, 11:37 pm

Sudden touching as a greeting. A sudden pat on the back quite makes me jump, if it catches me off guard.

Greetings in general are distracting. Unless the greeting person needs something from me.

Topic switching. What are they, trying to avoid something?

Interruptions. This is why I fade away in group conversations. I kept feeling that none of them are giving me a chance.

Talking about what they're currently watching/reading/listening. Or just unnecessary talking. It's distracting, seriously. Especially spoilers involved.

That 'look' when a group of people seem to be talking about you...


_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).


elysian1969
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2012
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 138
Location: Somewhere east of Eden

09 Feb 2015, 3:05 pm

Edna3362 wrote:
Sudden touching as a greeting. A sudden pat on the back quite makes me jump, if it catches me off guard.

..


Please, please, please, especially if you are not a VERY close friend or immediate family member, do NOT touch me. I really despise unauthorized touching. One time I worked with a guy who came up behind me and put his arm around me. I didn't see him, and just reacted- elbowing him a good one in the gut. He was a super nice guy and I felt bad for doing it even though it was more of an instinctive thing, but I was beaten up pretty much daily as a kid, and I really have a difficult time with physical touch.

I think it's rude to invade someone's personal space whether it be with touching, loud noise, or pointless inquiries into what one is reading, eating or listening to in private. If you don't know me well, please be respectful and approach from a distance. Maybe that's just me, but I am not a hugger or a groper by any stretch of the imagination. :heart: :skull:


_________________
Intelligence is a constant. The population is growing.


Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,700
Location: Out of my mind

09 Feb 2015, 4:03 pm

Many years ago, I used to take lunch to work. Because I have a number of food issues, my lunch was a bit different from the mainstream sandwiches and bikkies.
Without fail, whenever I took out my lunch someone would peer into my lunchbox and exclaim loudly, "What are you eating!?" Like I was eating poop or something. Of course, then everyone at the table would look at my lunch and proclaim it weird. As a result of this, I haven't eaten lunch at work for nine years.
They now have the rudeness to ask, "Why aren't you eating?"
Because f**k you, that's why.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


TheAP
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Dec 2014
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,314
Location: Canada

09 Feb 2015, 4:52 pm

When you're talking to them, suddenly breaking away from the conversation to say hello to another person.

Sharing secretive looks with another person when someone says something "weird". I HATE this.

I agree about the touching thing. I don't mind being hugged, but I don't like being randomly patted. After someone touches me, I always rub the area they touched, as if to wipe away the feeling of their touch.



conundrum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,920
Location: third rock from one of many suns

09 Feb 2015, 8:04 pm

Dantac wrote:
You're talking to someone on the phone and they start talking to you.

...and then THEY get upset when I show them the palm of my hand to make them stop since I can't keep track of what two people are saying at once, each in one of my ears.


It used to be that young children were taught NOT to interrupt while someone was on the phone...has this gone out of style, or do people decide this no longer applies when they *grow up*?

:roll:


_________________
The existence of the leader who is wise
is barely known to those he leads.
He acts without unnecessary speech,
so that the people say,
'It happened of its own accord.' -Tao Te Ching, Verse 17