What to do during lunch

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I am a senior in high school with autism, and I struggle with what to do at lunch time. Most of my friends go off campus, and I don't have a car. I am too nervous to talk to people younger than me or talk to my fellow classmates. I want to be able to conquer this fear, but am afraid of rejection. My other friend, who also has autism, talks to a bunch of friends and is a jerk and bully to me. I Am sick and tired of being lonely at lunch time, and want to do something other than play on the computer in special Ed class. I tried to join a club, but was too nervous about being rejected and not being good enough. I have a feeling this will get worse if I don't change this.

Sometimes the people I think are my friends are friendlier with each other and are doing things together but what I'm taking as friendly to me is politeness. And they don't want to invite me to do things. I'm not criticizing, politeness is much better than nastiness!

In your situation I think I would look for a teacher organized activity, because the friends going off campus, well, they're your friends, they could invite you, presumably they choose not to; and your other friend is a jerk and a bully.....Anyone would be anxious when the people they think are their friends aren't being reliably friendly. That's why I'm thinking it would be maybe good if you start with something safer, because I can remember how when I was in school, pushing to be part of things, trying too hard, gave some people too much chance to torment me. So they did.

High school is tough socially. What do you want to do after you graduate? I'm thinking if you have a particular interest, maybe there's something you can do during lunch related to that interest.

I ate lunch in the nurse's office sometimes or in an isolated place elsewhere because I felt stupid and conspicuous eating alone in the open or didn't know who to join and was hoping one or two particular people would come to me. They never did. I guess sitting in secluded places made me look like I didn't want them around. If I wasn't able to eat because I was too sick from being at school or couldn't make myself go get a lunch or didn't have anything, I wrote in my journal usually, something I did constantly. Lunch was a time for me to get away I guess. I rarely went off campus because I was afraid I'd not get back in time and also did not have a car. I don't remember anyone else ever inviting me out either except maybe senior year my boyfriend might have taken me off campus a few times. I really don't remember. I just remember high school being socially and sensory painful.

I did have two friends I remember that I usually ate lunch with if we had the same lunch period, but there were some years where we didn't have the same lunch period so I was pretty much alone, often by choice, doing the above paragraph.

I know there was one teacher who in class once said that if we ever needed someone to talk to, he'd be in his room at lunch. Several students went there for lunch. I think it was freshman year. I don't remember ever talking about anything much, but do remember most of us were "rejects" or "near-rejects". I hope there are still teachers out there who make these efforts, make themselves available for students.

Read a book / play computer games / mess about on the Web ?

I never liked having to attend schools and workplaces when I couldn't get home at lunchtime. Associating with people I didn't choose or like was worse than being alone. Sometimes I managed to find another friend in a similar situation.

There are teachers letting kids be in their rooms for lunch now. When I was growing up, though, if that was permitted, I didn't know and spent years trying to avoid being in the cafeteria. Never ate lunch, never went in the girls bathroom, never felt safe in school. It would have been a relief to have a place to go where I could relax, I don't know but maybe I could've eaten. I do know I didn't want anyone thinking something was wrong with me, so as much as I think the OP is lucky to have the special Ed room, I can understand not wanting to have people know I was stuck there. I suppose no one need know it's not a choice you're making, so that's a good thing.

I used to use the nurse's bathroom. One room with one toilet, cleaner, and easier to get in and out of without touching anything (OCD with certain contagions and blood was bad back then). Also used to go to the nurse's office a lot to lay in the dark when I was "breaking" from overwhelm and physical health reasons. I remember rubbing my feet together and the nurse asking, "What are you doing? Why are you rubbing your feet together?" I thought she was thinking I was doing something inappropriate and I think I didn't really answer her. I did some face rubbing I think too. Now I know this is a stimmy thing. I think I also would shake my legs. Hated it when someone else would come in because I couldn't have any real privacy, couldn't move, had to be still. I shed a whole lot of tears in that office. I don't know why the nurse never told my parents about my visits there. But she was an odd lady.

Our school didn't have the traditional lunchroom situation you see on TV and in movies and there weren't lots of people around outside at tables eating either.

But I don't want to hi-jack your thread and you said you don't want to be alone at lunch and I am pretty sure there were activity/interest groups meeting during lunch when I was in school. There probably still are as someone else said. A guidance counselor at school might have a list of or know of different ones you could join.

I'm also lonely at lunch time in college since everyone around me is a stranger to me. The idea of me picking up a chair and joining a group of strangers, whom I don't know are on the spectrum or not or even understand us or not, seems way out of my comfort zone socially. What I do in the cafeteria is eat a snack and browse the internet using my iPhone or PC since there's Wi-Fi at the college I attend. As for loneliness, lunch time isn't the only place to be social at as far as I can tell.

High school was tough for me, too. I sometimes ate with other kids, but then, as now, I often preferred to read while I eat. I never felt any particular need to socialize over lunch. Sometimes I do enjoy it, but it makes little difference to me either way. I also listen to podcasts on my phone, so the earbuds are generally a clear signal that I'm not up for socializing right now.

You may have to deal with people expressing pity over you eating alone (I still do), but since I'm just as happy being by myself it doesn't bother me.