You can only be taken in small doses?

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wbport
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23 Feb 2015, 8:49 pm

Does anyone else have the feeling that you are always on guard of wearing out your welcome?



kraftiekortie
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23 Feb 2015, 9:36 pm

Yes...all the time.

My wife could only take me in "small doses."



Prof_Pretorius
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23 Feb 2015, 10:12 pm

Overall, i have a tendency to wear out my welcome with random precision.


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dryope
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23 Feb 2015, 11:57 pm

After about 15 minutes of an intense social performance, I get tired and sloppy. At that point both me and the person I'm talking to are both looking for a drink.

When I'm panicked about some crisis or my anxiety level is too high, I have an energy no one likes to be around, not even me.

When I'm myself, most of the time I want to be left alone, or maybe have someone around to share a joke with if one occurs to me (although I'm happy just amusing myself).

For a few brief moments, like the golden period before a sunset or after a sunrise, everything is just right and I want to chat and I am also being myself. Wine helps, too.

So...yes. Like a fine port or amaro, I'm best in small doses. But the rest of the time is spent ripening so I am better for that moment.

I realize I have written a lot about alcohol here. It was a stressful day, so my subconscious seems to be telling me something. ;) (It's the middle of the day...I'll just get some tea instead.)


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Orangez
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24 Feb 2015, 12:01 am

It is actually the opposite for me as I can only take people in small doses. This is due to having a subconscious fear of people getting to know me. Thus, if I get close to someone I disappear to the background.



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24 Feb 2015, 12:46 am

Yeah... I can only be taken in small doses it seems... I really hate when I start making a new friend and I begin to act more myself but then it becomes "too much".



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24 Feb 2015, 7:02 am

Yeah, but it's def mutual. I can only take most people in small doses too. Most people get on my nerve pretty quickly TBH.


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Let_It_Go
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24 Feb 2015, 2:42 pm

Absolutely!

I have actually been told many times that I can only be taken in small doses. A number of people have difficulty dealing with me. I have a tendency to only talk about myself or my interests, and that makes people feel like I don't care about them, and only care about myself. This is not at all true. I do seem to have the ability to know when I'm not wanted around, but I never know how to fix it and make the situation better for everyone.

Some of the difficulty people have with dealing with me also stems from my lack of control over my anxiety or when I feel excluded, causing me to "flip out", start crying and panicking. If I lose something this can occur in those situations too. I have (in the past) struggled to control this at work, but somehow managed. Still, when this happens and I'm around friends, sometimes they misinterpret my actions and assume that I'm trying for pity. In reality, I'm just upset at those moments.

You're not alone in this feeling! I'm sorry you've gone through this as well. :(



r2d2
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24 Feb 2015, 3:29 pm

I guess that is the great progress I have made in my social skills - progressing from almost no one liking me to be somewhat liked, "In Small Doses."


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BirdInFlight
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24 Feb 2015, 4:04 pm

Scanner wrote:
Yeah... I can only be taken in small doses it seems... I really hate when I start making a new friend and I begin to act more myself but then it becomes "too much".


This for me too. I can make a good first impression and a person thinks they like me. Then further contact makes it all start going downhill on any given time scale -- within the conversation, or a longer time period, either way, people fall away. The ones who are left stay friends but even then with very scant contact or time spent.

I also can't take other people in much more than small doses. There have been exceptions but I can count them on a few fingers over the span of 53 years.


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On the other hand, friends will never need an explanation, and enemies bent on disliking me will never accept one.

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Let_It_Go
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24 Feb 2015, 4:12 pm

BirdInFlight wrote:
Scanner wrote:
Yeah... I can only be taken in small doses it seems... I really hate when I start making a new friend and I begin to act more myself but then it becomes "too much".


This for me too. I can make a good first impression and a person thinks they like me. Then further contact makes it all start going downhill on any given time scale -- within the conversation, or a longer time period, either way, people fall away. The ones who are left stay friends but even then with very scant contact or time spent.


I'm going to jump on the bandwagon and mention that I'm the same way. I can very easily make a decent enough impression. People not only like me, but want to spend further time with me. Some people even gain fleeting crushes on me...but then they begin to distance themselves because I'm too "weird" and never truly reciprocate well, or because I'm too reactive and defensive. Very few people want to spend any length of time with me. :(



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24 Feb 2015, 4:39 pm

Generally yes, my longer term friendships had a mutual appreciation of silence.



TheBraveSirRobin
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25 Feb 2015, 12:42 am

When I am in conversations about the things that I enjoy, I almost always end it too late and on an awkward note. I always explain my thoughts to completion and it's probably why I have very little appreciation for group socialization. I am rarely ever clever enough or concise enough to keep people interested in what I have to say when they have the choice of listening to me or listening to someone more charismatic, and I just end up frustrated by the obvious lack of appreciation that they express through their actions.


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questor
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25 Feb 2015, 10:30 am

Yes, people generally can only take me in small doses. Sometimes they will walk away while I am talking to them. On the other hand, like some of the other posters have said, I can only handle others in small doses, too, so I guess we are all even. :lol: I can sometimes make a good first impression, but not always, and even when I do, I don't want to pursue a friendship with anyone. Partly, it's because I can't tolerate closeness with others, and partly, it's because they will soon realize how different I am and then not want anything to do with me after that. I can be difficult for NTs to get along with, just as they are difficult for me to get along with. I find being a hermit more to my liking. I still interact with others, but more on a level I can handle.


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25 Feb 2015, 4:34 pm

Yes, because I don't know how much is enough talking, or when we've hung out for long enough. When people ask me questions, I mentally create short and long versions, and default to the short version for my answer. I wait for them to ask for more details to give the longer version. It gets complicated by people asking questions to which they don't really want an answer, or not saying when they want to go home.



TheAP
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25 Feb 2015, 4:48 pm

I sometimes like to start a conversation with someone, just to be friendly. But the conversations usually end up being brief and rather dull, and I have no idea how to keep the relationship going and turn it into a friendship. Then I feel awkward about talking to that person, and may avoid doing so so I don't appear clingy. I can't tell what is the right amount to talk to someone, and how much is too much.