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Sinon
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25 Feb 2015, 4:15 am

I'm a female aspie with a newly minted B.Sc ad I was fired last week from my first job out of University. The major reasons revealed; a lack of empathy and an attitude problem.

I managed to get a good paying job at one of the top 5 banks in Canada and while it wasn't the job I trained for I liked it. I met my metrics and even got accolades for my 'people skills'. I thought all was well and with the repayment period for my exorbitant student loans coming up I was much relieved. I was hopeful about my future and I would even go so far as to say I was cautiously happy.

But then I upset a customer by following the practices I had explicitly been taught to do and a senior officer took the time to report me after dissecting the interaction himself. I expressed concern over my fumble and was assured all was well.

Then my manager took me away from my team and had me listen to the call, and boy did she crush me. I wasn't a team player. I was embarrassment to the bank. I completely lacked empathy and when she asked me if I was going to cry she was genuinely displeased that I said I wasn't going to.

I was one of only two people on my team meeting their metrics and while I was having some trouble negotiating the non-explicit rules of compliance I was dedicated to ironing out my follies. I pushed myself further out of my comfort zone with that bank than I ever had.

I thought I was liked and had at least a decent shot at making it work even though I was an agency hire. I loved this bank because it was also MY bank who I had been with since I opened my first chequing account as a kid. I was good at the job; my superiors kept saying so. But then I made that mistake...and I was fired four days later for having 'an attitude problem.'

I was crushed. I got out to interviews within 48 hours of being terminated and I was offered another position through my agency yesterday. I won't be making good money like I was at the bank but it's a job.

I was devastated to lose my spot at the bank because I knew I was fired because of what I am. The bank flaunted their unparalleled diversity agendas but there is a difference between being 'different' because of your ethnicity or your skin colour and being 'different' because you don't understand people all the time. People are allowed to discriminate against you because you're unlikeable.

The mistake I made with the customer was in no way a lashing out. I thought I was being firm with an unreasonable request, something I had been instructed to do on previous calls for less money and situations that seemed far more deserving of reimbursement. I agreed that I could have been more empathetic.

I have been very distressed and depressed despite knowing I am moving on to a job that will cover my cost of living. I know a lot of this hurt is humiliation as well as the practical loss of dropping from 18$/hr to 12$.

I got back to sending reworked resumes and custom cover letters to jobs I actually do want and have put my affairs in order from the safety of my blanket fort but earlier this evening the unending pain and humiliation and feelings of being alien and doomed got the better of me and I administered a precision dose of a hepatotoxic drug. It was almost impulsive it happened so fast. I wanted it to stop hurting and Valium didn't make a dent. I felt calm after, and then I reconsidered and took action to reverse the desicion.

I am hurting and scared and under a great deal of pressure financially. The bank was a solution and I blew it and didn't even realize I had BEEN blowing it before I completely sunk the nail in my coffin.

I take responsibility for being fired because when you're fired it is ultimately your fault. This is the first time I've been fired but thinking back, every customer service job I've had (since that's what always seems available) I've left after similar reprimands and I never see them coming.

At University I had support for my Aspergers and I had an advocate. I worked in a lab when I wasn't working for myself as a copy editor. I had a safety net for my social and professional blunders. I came here tonight because I thought it would be a first step towards figuring out how to be in this world with all of THEM on their terms and actually be successful.

I can objectively acknowledge that I am mentally unwell given my actions tonight and will take steps to have it acknowledged by appropriate professionals, but how do you DO this?

How do you survive in subpar jobs where the subtleties of social interaction count far more than your results? How do you network your way out of call centers and get your foot in the door of a job you were actually trained for? How do you behave so that even if they don't like you, they don't dislike you?

How do you cope with the pain of being at such a disadvantage when so much is expected of you?

I have rambled but I really do seek advice. I want to succeed and perform on an even playing field. I want to pay off my student debt and make enough of a living to feel secure. How do you do that when you're not one of them? How do you take your mistakes and find ways to avoid them in the future when the mistakes come from just being who you are?

- Sinon



progaspie
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25 Feb 2015, 4:53 am

Sinon wrote:
I'm a female aspie with a newly minted B.Sc ad I was fired last week from my first job out of University. The major reasons revealed; a lack of empathy and an attitude problem.

But then I upset a customer by following the practices I had explicitly been taught to do and a senior officer took the time to report me after dissecting the interaction himself. I expressed concern over my fumble and was assured all was well.

- Sinon


Ultimately the customer is right, even though you may not think so, and if you upset a customer, they will take their business to another bank. So really, it's about pleasing customers, more than about being a team player and getting on with your co-workers. You may think you followed the practices that were explicitly taught to you, but there must have been some miscommunication along the way, or your training was substandard in the way you were instructed. If that was true then you didn't deserve to be fired, but that's life. Businesses are tough and managements make ruthless decisions such as the one that led to your dismissal.

First thing is not to worry about it. Practically everybody at some stage of their careers gets fired, so don't take it personally. You work for a very good agency because they were able to get you a new job almost straight away. I wouldn't worry about the smaller enumeration you are receiving in you new job as long as you can pay your bills. I also wouldn't worry about losing the job with the bank that you banked with as a child. Being a bank customer and working with the same bank may be a romantic notion that appeals to your ego, but it really doesn't mean anything, because the reality of working for that institution is different to the fantasy you picture it in your mind.

You should be thinking of your long term future at this point. Do you wish to work at another bank dealing with customers again and having to appease your co-workers and bosses? Maybe you might be better getting work more in line with your B.Sc. background. You mentioned you worked in a lab. Are there laboratory jobs in your locality you should be applying for, or don't you like working in a lab?



Amelia_Pond
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26 Feb 2015, 9:04 am

Hi,

I’m a new member here but still have some suggestions for you. My friend tried to find a job and browsed jobs on different websites. There are several ones he likes most of all. There is a plenty of jobs there, an enormous count of different industries with wide range of salaries.

http://www.bolfox.com/
http://www.monster.com/
https://www.uber.com/jobs
http://www.indeed.com/



Fnord
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26 Feb 2015, 9:08 am

First, apply for unemployment compensation.

Then, start applying for work.

That's about all that there is to it.


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GCAspies
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28 Feb 2015, 1:14 am

Sinon wrote:
I'm a female aspie with a newly minted B.Sc ad I was fired last week from my first job out of University. The major reasons revealed; a lack of empathy and an attitude problem.

Hi Sinon.....
I was fired from my staff accountant position about a month ago, due to not catching on to the high level of responsibilities involved. Was not a mutually good fit between the company and me. I had just graduated with my BBA in Accounting in May 2014.

Sinon wrote:
I managed to get a good paying job at one of the top 5 banks in Canada and while it wasn't the job I trained for I liked it. I met my metrics and even got accolades for my 'people skills'. I thought all was well and with the repayment period for my exorbitant student loans coming up I was much relieved. I was hopeful about my future and I would even go so far as to say I was cautiously happy.

I had a good paying job as well at my last company in the healthcare industry. Thought I could see myself being there for at least a few years before moving on in my professional accounting career. I was very hopeful with the way things were going and had an emergency fund built up.

Sinon wrote:
But then I upset a customer by following the practices I had explicitly been taught to do and a senior officer took the time to report me after dissecting the interaction himself. I expressed concern over my fumble and was assured all was well. Then my manager took me away from my team and had me listen to the call, and boy did she crush me. I wasn't a team player. I was embarrassment to the bank. I completely lacked empathy and when she asked me if I was going to cry she was genuinely displeased that I said I wasn't going to.

What happened in my situation was that a senior level accountant was promoted to become my new manager (nice surprise huh). This did not work out well for me. I needed to work with someone who had a fair amount of experience as a manager. The director of the department was like, "We're putting you with her because you're more mature than most people we have in this department." At first, she kept telling me how much she was looking forward to working with me. However, she was super shy, and I needed someone who could be blunt with me. She got to the point where she ended up asking another manager about me (I found out about this eventually). She was almost exasperated in knowing how to reach out to me. I disclosed to the new manager if she knew anything about autism. She said she did. Apparently not what as much as what she thought she knew about autism.

Sinon wrote:
I was crushed. I got out to interviews within 48 hours of being terminated and I was offered another position through my agency yesterday. I won't be making good money like I was at the bank but it's a job. I was devastated to lose my spot at the bank because I knew I was fired because of what I am. The bank flaunted their unparalleled diversity agendas but there is a difference between being 'different' because of your ethnicity or your skin colour and being 'different' because you don't understand people all the time. People are allowed to discriminate against you because you're unlikeable.

I felt more relieved than crushed. Took me a couple of weeks before getting out to employment agencies, companies, etc. I have decided that being a staff accountant is be too much for me. So, I've decided to pursue positions at an accounting clerk level position. Won't pay as much, but won't be nearly as stressful either. I can focus on the areas of accounts payable/accounts receivable and then work my way up from there. I have taken assessment testing over accounts receivable and payable, general accounting, bookkeeping, cost accounting. Feel very good about how I scored.

Sinon wrote:
I have been very distressed and depressed despite knowing I am moving on to a job that will cover my cost of living. I know a lot of this hurt is humiliation as well as the practical loss of dropping from 18$/hr to 12$. I am hurting and scared and under a great deal of pressure financially. The bank was a solution and I blew it and didn't even realize I had BEEN blowing it before I completely sunk the nail in my coffin. I take responsibility for being fired because when you're fired it is ultimately your fault. This is the first time I've been fired but thinking back, every customer service job I've had (since that's what always seems available) I've left after similar reprimands and I never see them coming.

I understand about the loss in income, and have felt discouraged from time to time the past few weeks. I received my last check from former company today as part of my severance pay package. I am grateful and thankful for my former company doing this, because it did not have to do that. I will probably be making at around $12-$14 per hour, compared to what I was making. The tradeoff is that the accounting clerk positions I am pursuing will be a better "fit" for me compared to what I was doing.

Sinon wrote:
At University I had support for my Aspergers and I had an advocate. I worked in a lab when I wasn't working for myself as a copy editor. I had a safety net for my social and professional blunders. I came here tonight because I thought it would be a first step towards figuring out how to be in this world with all of THEM on their terms and actually be successful.

Same here with support for AS in college. I learned to advocate for myself better while in college. Have been advocating for myself during this job search and will continue to do after this search is complete. I wouldn't do well in a position involving customer service, exclusively, like a bank teller. I much rather work behind the scenes doing the "grunt work" with crunching the numbers as an accounting clerk than providing a consistently high level of customer service to different end users of financial information as a staff accountant.

Sinon wrote:
I have rambled but I really do seek advice. I want to succeed and perform on an even playing field. I want to pay off my student debt and make enough of a living to feel secure. How do you do that when you're not one of them? How do you take your mistakes and find ways to avoid them in the future when the mistakes come from just being who you are?

- Sinon

I want to succeed like other AS adults want to succeed. I run an organization, Greater Chattanooga Aspies, in my spare time when not job searching. A number of adults on the spectrum who attend GCA meetings are like you and me. Highly educated, have bachelor and graduate degrees. I know of one guy who received a MS in Environmental Science a couple of years ago. Can't find a job. Has had plenty of interviews. One woman. Worked as secretary of a local community college for a number of years. Was fired. Has had interviews. Can't find job. And it goes on and on. Yes, I know it's not an even playing field here either. The issue with western culture is that the disability (developmental and otherwise) issue is something a lot of companies want to talk about but don't back that talk by walking it. It's something I am trying to work on when I can in my city. I'm interested in potentially starting a GCA group that is employment related. I look at people here in WP, people who attend GCA meetings, the statistics of people who have developmental and intellectual disabilities, and think to myself about how the diversity of companies could be increased if they could see how the skill sets of adults who are on the autism spectrum would make those companies increasingly diverse. Last year during World Autism Awareness Day (4/2/2014), I talked about the need for companies to work with adults on the autism spectrum. Finally, one company (a Fortune 250 company that is local here) came forward and started a partnership with a local university that has a program for college students on the autism spectrum (I am an alum of the program). I was glad to see that happen. Now need to have more companies "walk the talk".

I hear you, I hear you.

Scott


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The mission of GCA Centre for Adult Autism:
"Empowering the lives of autistic adults and young adults and their parents/caregivers by serving as a resource center to provide mutual support, information, and activities" in the Southeast USA
http://www.gcaspies.org

2nd Annual Southeast Adult Autism Symposium
- Early Bird online registration starts in late March 2018
- More information can be found at http://www.gcaspies.org/symposiumhomepage


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28 Feb 2015, 1:26 am

Amelia_Pond wrote:
Hi,

I’m a new member here but still have some suggestions for you. My friend tried to find a job and browsed jobs on different websites. There are several ones he likes most of all. There is a plenty of jobs there, an enormous count of different industries with wide range of salaries.

http://www.bolfox.com/
http://www.monster.com/
https://www.uber.com/jobs
http://www.indeed.com/

I have been using http://www.simplyhired.com and http://www.indeed.com as part of my job search. They are both meta job search websites that take job posting from many different websites. Thus, the idea of a meta job searcher.


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Scott, Founder/Program Director - GCA Centre for Adult Autism

The mission of GCA Centre for Adult Autism:
"Empowering the lives of autistic adults and young adults and their parents/caregivers by serving as a resource center to provide mutual support, information, and activities" in the Southeast USA
http://www.gcaspies.org

2nd Annual Southeast Adult Autism Symposium
- Early Bird online registration starts in late March 2018
- More information can be found at http://www.gcaspies.org/symposiumhomepage


GeneticEngineering
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01 Mar 2015, 12:57 pm

Seems a little harsh they fired you like that...i mean no warnings? Written or verbal? No don't do that agains?



SocOfAutism
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02 Mar 2015, 4:20 pm

People can openly discriminate against autistic people in ways that would be funny if it wasn't so mean. I'm NT, but I'm married to an aspie and I've had aspies around me my whole life- way before I knew what autism was. Most people don't know what an autistic adult is like. They think everyone is Rain Man or Sheldon. They have no idea that women are on the autism spectrum too, and they'd NEVER stop to think that perhaps the problem is them and their double standards, not the person taking them literally.

Trust me, discrimination against women, minority races, disabilities, etc would be way worse if employers thought they could get away with it.

I suggest you find a place accepting of diverse personalities and then make a personal decision of whether you want to work on "passing" better or just disclose and fight for accommodations. You may have to settle for something that pays less or isn't quite in your area of expertise.



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02 Mar 2015, 5:41 pm

progaspie wrote:
Sinon wrote:
I'm a female aspie with a newly minted B.Sc ad I was fired last week from my first job out of University. The major reasons revealed; a lack of empathy and an attitude problem.

But then I upset a customer by following the practices I had explicitly been taught to do and a senior officer took the time to report me after dissecting the interaction himself. I expressed concern over my fumble and was assured all was well.

- Sinon


Ultimately the customer is right, even though you may not think so, and if you upset a customer, they will take their business to another bank. So really, it's about pleasing customers, more than about being a team player and getting on with your co-workers. You may think you followed the practices that were explicitly taught to you, but there must have been some miscommunication along the way, or your training was substandard in the way you were instructed. If that was true then you didn't deserve to be fired, but that's life. Businesses are tough and managements make ruthless decisions such as the one that led to your dismissal.

First thing is not to worry about it. Practically everybody at some stage of their careers gets fired, so don't take it personally. You work for a very good agency because they were able to get you a new job almost straight away. I wouldn't worry about the smaller enumeration you are receiving in you new job as long as you can pay your bills. I also wouldn't worry about losing the job with the bank that you banked with as a child. Being a bank customer and working with the same bank may be a romantic notion that appeals to your ego, but it really doesn't mean anything, because the reality of working for that institution is different to the fantasy you picture it in your mind.

You should be thinking of your long term future at this point. Do you wish to work at another bank dealing with customers again and having to appease your co-workers and bosses? Maybe you might be better getting work more in line with your B.Sc. background. You mentioned you worked in a lab. Are there laboratory jobs in your locality you should be applying for, or don't you like working in a lab?

Even if you solve the customer's issue, you will be punished if not fired for breaking the rules and protocol.
In this case the OP, would probably would have been fired for solving the customer's issue due to said solution being a "violation" of the rules and protocol.

This is why people hate working in customer services, because you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.


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climategeek
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30 Jun 2017, 12:09 pm

Since you have Asperger's and use a have been fired twice because of symptoms of your condition, you are being discriminated against and you have every right to sue them for discrimination of the Americans with Disability Act of 1990 and the 2009 Amendment of the ADA.

The way the person in the bank talk to you was utterly an unacceptable and you should not have to put up with that and as a matter of fact nobody should ever have to put up with that and next time somebody talks you like that at your work record them and post it online, or use the recording to show it to your lawyer but how you're being discriminated.



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30 Jun 2017, 12:48 pm

Forget about the level playing field. It doesn't exist--anywhere.

What usually works is to leverage your talents against your weaknesses. A good boss will exploit your talents and hide your weaknesses. For instance, if you are good at writing you should volunteer to use that skill. Why should someone else waste two days to write what you can do better in an hour? Even better if you don't mind the fact that you don't get credit for it. If you do it enough everyone will know who is doing the writing. But, it needs to be a VALUABLE skill.

As analogy, hitting home runs is a valuable skill in baseball. If you can do that against anyone they will ignore all sorts of faux pas you may make.



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05 Jul 2017, 6:59 pm

Uhh only like my second week in and I am already worried about having to quit or getting fired(I'll try to quit first :twisted: ). But its about the hours they told me part time yet I just worked a 6, 8 hour day week which is like overtime got a weekend consisting of a day off, day of work, and day off and today was my first day of what is supposed to be another 6, 8 hour day week. So yeah that is not going to work out, I have a life and also have some important things I need to take care of soon which going to work 6 days a week for 8 hours really gets in the way of.

I suppose what to do though is start looking for something new...I know that's probably not very helpful, but not sure what else to do in that case. Unless you have another way of getting income aside from working.


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