Feel really panicky when the bus stops for ages

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Joe90
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25 Feb 2015, 12:06 pm

I like getting the bus, and I need to get buses to see my boyfriend.
But when the bus sits at a bus stop for ages because it's early, or if there are people fiddling about in their purses for a long time when paying the bus fare, or it's sitting in everlasting traffic jams, I get really agitated. I fidget in my seat, and feel panicky because the bus is sitting still and I just want to get to my destination. Also I like the feeling of the bus moving.

But it's like an extreme impatience. Is this linked with ADHD?


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ToughDiamond
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25 Feb 2015, 1:16 pm

I knew one guy who had to get off a train just because its departure was being delayed for unexplained reasons. The delay can't have been more than a few minutes. He said later that he thought it was because things seemed to have to happen at a certain rate if he wasn't going to feel anxious. Don't know what his diagnosis would have been though. He practically melted down when he lost his keys. Very eccentric guy, some autistic traits but I don't think that was all he had.

I used to feel very agitated by unexpected waits like that, but it never really overcame me. I'm generally regarded as very patient, but there is something about me that can barely wait, once I get it into my head that a thing will happen on time. I think I learned to cope by expecting things to be late. These days I've got very used to it. The last plane I was on was delayed after we'd boarded, and was eventually cancelled (dispute between management and union). It was frustrating, but I was hardly shocked. Sometimes it helps to be old.

Don't know if it's a known part of any condition or not. Could be the Aspie rigid thinking, maybe even OCD for all I know. It's worth taking a book or a computer along. I always feel better when I realise I've got a contingency plan, then I feel proud of myself for being able to insulate myself against the incompetence of the world.



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25 Feb 2015, 3:10 pm

I have the same experience although not as severely. I didn't actually recognise it as anxiety until recently though, as before learning about Aspergers (I'm not diagnosed) I just felt physical symptoms, felt fidgety and as though I didn't really know where to put my hands or where to look but I didn't know why. I now realise these things are mild anxiety, caused by a lack of visual and physical stimulation. I'm not very good at recognising my emotions and I guess anxiety is an emotion? I find it much easier now I recognise the problem and I can actively look for a solution by seeking stimulation. I can't usually sit still but obviously have to when using public transport, so I look at my phone, fidget with an object or get visual or mental stimulation by looking out of the window or reading adverts over and over again and analyse their small print, production and grammar. Fun :/

It might help you to plan some kind of activity to immerse yourself in when the bus stops. If I was number-brained I'd make a routine of adding up estimated ages of the people I can see, but I just get frustrated by the numbers not staying in my head lol. I find having planned things to look at, like specific web pages or articles open on my phone which will challenge my brain a bit, can distract me from what's going on...but I have to be careful not to get too focused and miss my stop! Music can help but occasionally I become very conscious of how loud I'm breathing which is annoying as I'm sure im not breathing loudly at all! Holding your breath doesn't do much for anxiety anyway, so I now also try to focus on breathing more smoothly and deeply which is an always-available thing to focus on. It doesn't mean you have to do structured "breathing exercises" or anything, I just observe it and make sure my brain is getting enough oxygen!


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Joe90
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26 Feb 2015, 5:36 am

Actually I become conscious of how loud my music is. When the bus stops for a while, the engine quietens down a bit, and I keep thinking people are able to hear my music through the earphones. Some of the songs I listen to are embarrassing, and yes this does annoy me that society even dictates what songs I listen to on my own personal music player, but at the same time I don't want others hearing my music.

That is not why I get agitated when the bus stops for ages by the way. I do get out my phone and go on the internet, and it sometimes helps but not always.
Putting a bus stop right before a set of traffic lights or a bit where the trains cross the road is such a stupid idea, because the person stops the bus and it's usually some youngster who hasn't got their money ready, and then the bus is now held up in a red light that seems to stay red forever, or a rail bit where there are a few trains coming through. Sometimes that takes about 15 minutes, and it's worse when the bus is overcrowded so you are standing up.

That's when I start hating people, and wishing the country wasn't so overpopulated, or wishing that I was rich and lived somewhere remote, with just a few people around but not enough to cause such irritation.


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886
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26 Feb 2015, 5:50 am

Are you sure you actually enjoy riding the bus? Sounds like you're just in a hurry to get away from fellow riders.


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26 Feb 2015, 3:44 pm

886 wrote:
Are you sure you actually enjoy riding the bus? Sounds like you're just in a hurry to get away from fellow riders.


It's this, I used to experience it myself.


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26 Feb 2015, 6:56 pm

I didn't use to mind taking the bus everywhere when I was younger but now I really hate it. I always think we're going to get in some kind of accident. It happened before and an older lady who was getting up was thrown to the floor and injured and I became hysterical. If the bus stops suddenly because of some idiot driver in front of us and stops suddenly it feels like you're going to be thrown out of your and there are no seat belts and the things are still built like they were made in the 50's, and the driver often starts the bus before I sit down and my balance is thrown off, which is even worse if the bus is crowded and there's nowhere to sit down. If you miss the bus by one minute you have to wait another hour for the next one, there are no buses on Sundays and I have to stand out in freezing or frying weather in a flimsy glass shelter. I've been taking cabs more often now but they're too expensive.

A student was hit from and killed by the school bus the other week because he and his friend was goofing around behind the bus and pushed him. He may not have meant for it to happen but now his friend is DEAD. It's scary how things like that can happen in a split second and when you're close to the bus the driver has trouble seeing you.



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26 Feb 2015, 7:01 pm

I get the same kind of thing, though wouldn't really call it panicky, just really impatient...and it irritates the hell out of me, or if a bus is late to the stop. Not sure its linked to ADHD specifically I don't have a diagnoses of ADHD so probably don't have it and still get like that. But its not just buses, its hard for me to wait in general.

Sometimes for waiting at a bus stop I smoke a cigarette, just to kind of kill the time...of course its not the healthiest thing, but I smoke anyways so it works. But not so much if I am going somewhere with people and I am ready to go and they're still getting ready/organized to get out the door and I am inside since most people don't like you to smoke cigarettes in the house at least most people Im ever around.


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ToughDiamond
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26 Feb 2015, 8:48 pm

When I was about 12, I remember I hated it when the bus waited at the lights. I felt furious once when the driver wasted precious seconds letting a truck through. Totally narcissistic.



androbot01
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26 Feb 2015, 8:56 pm

One time on a crowded bus, the driver pulled up to a stop on a busy side street, put it in park, put on her coat and leaves with the words "shift change." We were left on the pilotless, running bus for almost 10 minutes before the relief guy showed up. It was very disconcerting. A couple of girls were joking about taking over the route.



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26 Feb 2015, 9:19 pm

I don't get panicky when this happens, but I do get extremely annoyed. The buses in my part of the country don't adhere to the timetable, and therefore the extended stops just seem to be an excuse for the driver to do a bit of texting, have a cup of coffee, or leave his cab for a smoke.

I was on a bus from Huddersfield to Manchester last month, when the driver stopped for 15 minutes to have a smoke, despite the fact he was running almost 20 minutes late. The following week, a driver left the bus to go into a Pizza Parlour. The average speed of the buses round here for most journeys is about 8 miles per hour, and this is supposedly the 21st Century.....



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26 Feb 2015, 10:08 pm

I get annoyed/angry, too, when the bus is idling for too long. It's simply because it makes me feel I'm wasting my time. I try not to see the traffic lights because if it turns yellow when the bus is approaching them, I feel very angry. And I agree with the OP that it's stupid/annoying to have traffic lights just before an intersection. I feel like kicking the passengers that get on/off there.



Sweetleaf
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26 Feb 2015, 11:56 pm

androbot01 wrote:
One time on a crowded bus, the driver pulled up to a stop on a busy side street, put it in park, put on her coat and leaves with the words "shift change." We were left on the pilotless, running bus for almost 10 minutes before the relief guy showed up. It was very disconcerting. A couple of girls were joking about taking over the route.



I have experienced that a number of times, either that or I get unlucky enough to catch the bus right before the drivers 'break time' where they basically hang out for 10 minutes eat something, use the bathroom, smoke a cigarette. Though there have also been times I am running late and so glad the driver wasn't watching the time and so I don't miss the bus...or those times it just passes me at a red light so I figure I have to wait till the next one and then someone with a wheelchair saves me by taking longer to get on the bus and situated so I have time to catch up.


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androbot01
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27 Feb 2015, 2:48 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
.or those times it just passes me at a red light so I figure I have to wait till the next one and then someone with a wheelchair saves me by taking longer to get on the bus and situated so I have time to catch up.

Running to catch a bus and missing it sucks. Especially in winter.