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graduate122
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04 Mar 2015, 5:33 pm

Here are some social cues I have learned by experience. I would love to hear some that you guys have learned to add to this list:





1. If someone is short with their answers, it means they no longer wish to talk about the subject.



2. Don’t talk about a topic excessively, especially if the other person isn’t familiar with it.



3. If someone doesn’t respond to calls, texts, etc, it means they no longer wish to be in contact with you.



4. Don’t repeat jokes too much


5. Don’t blow up someone’s phone.



6. Don’t talk about a woman’s weight, even to compliment her.



7. Try to maintain eye contact.



8. Ask people about themselves and their interests in a conversation.



9. Pay attention to what someone is doing before engaging them in a conversation.



10. Don’t interrupt other people’s conversations if it seems like a personal one between them.



11. When trying to join a group conversation, wait until a pause to join in.



12. If they don’t engage you with cue #11, cease trying to join in.



13. Wait until you get to know someone before you share personal details



14. Don’t randomly say unexplained things to people.



15. Respect personal space



16. Don’t play too many pranks.



17. Never talk to the cops without a lawyer present. (This isn’t a social cue, but it’s so important, I’m putting it in here anyway)



18. Don’t ask people to say things



19. Get to know someone before you tell a questionable joke.



20. Relax and don’t overanalyze details.



21. Don’t ask personal questions



22. Don’t constantly seek reassurance.



23. Don’t discuss politics and/or religion



24. Only invite yourself to an event if it’s at a public place, or if it’s a party that seems open to everyone.



25. Only party crash if you’ve been to a party at that person’s house before.



ThatAspieLinguist
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04 Mar 2015, 6:03 pm

1.If someone acts overly nice, but never talks to you unless you talk to them, and/or are short with you, it means "I want you to leave me alone, but am too polite to tell you so."

2.NEVER interrupt teachers while they are talking amongst themselves, they hate it.

3. Following and repeating rules of engagement too much makes you come off as robotic.



LupaLuna
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04 Mar 2015, 7:52 pm

What do you mean by #5 "Don’t blow up someone’s phone."? Why the hell would I want to destroy someone phone anyways.



graduate122
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04 Mar 2015, 8:17 pm

I meant that figuratively. LOL



ASPartOfMe
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04 Mar 2015, 8:28 pm

#7 Revised: Look near the persons eyes so they think you are looking at their eyes. Sometimes it is just unbearably unconformable to do the real thing


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zer0netgain
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05 Mar 2015, 6:11 am

#8 in the OP is why Johnnie Carson was so popular. He knew the key was to let the guests talk about themselves and their interests.



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05 Mar 2015, 7:48 am

graduate122 wrote:
I meant that figuratively. LOL


Is that a figure of speech? Does it mean to call too much or with the wrong kind of call?



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05 Mar 2015, 10:48 am

My wife tells me that it is a figure of speech and means calling too much.



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05 Mar 2015, 10:54 am

Adamantium wrote:
My wife tells me that it is a figure of speech and means calling too much.



I've made that mistake and I wonder how much is too much. Is three days a week fine or once a week and how often can you keep calling if no one picks up? After all they could be gone or not at their phone at the moment so you keep trying until they finally pick up. But however if they never pick up or return your messages, then it's time to move on.


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Adamantium
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05 Mar 2015, 11:20 am

League_Girl wrote:
Adamantium wrote:
My wife tells me that it is a figure of speech and means calling too much.



I've made that mistake and I wonder how much is too much. Is three days a week fine or once a week and how often can you keep calling if no one picks up? After all they could be gone or not at their phone at the moment so you keep trying until they finally pick up. But however if they never pick up or return your messages, then it's time to move on.


It is hard to know. I tend to not call in order to avoid this, but then sometimes people tell me that they thought I did not like them because I did not call enough!



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05 Mar 2015, 2:29 pm

Avoid saying things that might appear to be only showing off your knowledge. It might appear like you are lecturing.

Be very careful about saying things that might appear to be criticisms of someone's country, religion, family, culture, occupation or friends. It might really annoy people even if you feel you are just being honest.


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05 Mar 2015, 4:36 pm

If you make a list of rules, and try to follow them like they are absolute, that's black and white thinking.

What differentiates allistic people is they understand when to follow rules, when to bend them, and when to break them.



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05 Mar 2015, 5:37 pm

LupaLuna wrote:
What do you mean by #5 "Don’t blow up someone’s phone."? Why the hell would I want to destroy someone phone anyways.


It means "don't send them text after text when they aren't replying, and don't call them all the time.".


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05 Mar 2015, 5:52 pm

If you are going to criticize ideas of any kind, make sure you do it in a nuanced and civil enough way so that you never give the impression you are attacking the intelligence or the decency of the people who may be associated with these ideas.

Also, if you make a point, try to make sure you are only saying it once and not repeating it. Repeating it could make the conversation much less productive and could even send the message that you think they cannot understand you the first time.

Take deep breaths, filling your lungs with as much air as possible, anytime someone says something you have a problem with before you respond. Responding when you get a panic or anxiety or anger attack can make things exponentially worse.



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06 Mar 2015, 10:11 pm

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! ! I AM SO GRATEFUL <3 I LOVE U GUYS