Should i just be more direct with my intentions?

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FrankiDelano
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21 Mar 2015, 3:00 pm

I came across this article earlier today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/be ... ck-lines-0. It basically goes into the nature of reactions to pick up lines, and explains how most women prefer a man to be direct and honest about his intentions. Not in a "hey hey lets go bang!" kind of way, personally I find the articles first example "I'm pretty shy, but I'd like to get to know you better" to be my honest thoughts when I see a girl I'm interested in, it's just when I start to talk I begin to descend into levels of high anxiety, and loose control of what I intend to say. If I choose not to worry about whether I should put on this "ditzy love-shy guy" routine and try to be "cute-flippant" as the article describes, then I can find myself in a much more comfortable place to talk. I just thought it was an interesting read that has some fascinating links to the studies conducted.


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kraftiekortie
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21 Mar 2015, 4:03 pm

I think the "common interests" approach is the best approach at the start.



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21 Mar 2015, 7:04 pm

You're better off being yourself and finding a way to address your anxiety if you feel it is interfering with your life to a disabling degree.



FrankiDelano
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22 Mar 2015, 12:09 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I think the "common interests" approach is the best approach at the start.


Common interest is easy enough, but gets boring if it's the only connection you try to establish. I think my biggest problem is actually complementing a girl if I like her, or what you'd call the actual flirting. Knowing what to say to make someone feel good about themselves and how to say it is what challenges me.


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Jono
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22 Mar 2015, 4:39 am

FrankiDelano wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I think the "common interests" approach is the best approach at the start.


Common interest is easy enough, but gets boring if it's the only connection you try to establish. I think my biggest problem is actually complementing a girl if I like her, or what you'd call the actual flirting. Knowing what to say to make someone feel good about themselves and how to say it is what challenges me.


Just the act of asking a woman out on a date is already letting her know what your intentions are.



kraftiekortie
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22 Mar 2015, 8:06 am

If you establish a commonality, then start talking about your views on relationships/tell funny stories about past relationships.

Kissing a lady's hand sometimes works for me.



sly279
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22 Mar 2015, 11:33 pm

I've always wanted to try that, but my brain can't figure out how to get about to kissing their hand without being creepy.



kraftiekortie
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23 Mar 2015, 9:01 am

When you kiss a lady's hand, you bow to her at the same time.

Some ladies continue to like this sort of thing.