Insubordination Issue With Higher Ranking Person At Work

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This is a long rant/story, I apologize in advance. If you make it through the whole thing, thanks for reading.

I've worked a 40 hour a week office job for a large company for the past year. Early on I had some issues with a girl that worked there that eventually got promoted to a team leader position. We've never gotten along, but had we an issue that got taken up to higher positions until this past week when she reported me for insubordination to our manager.

Here's what happened.

Part of our system went down, which made it impossible for me to fully complete my tasks at work. I sent an email to the supervisor notifying her that this system went down, and I picked up a book and started reading. The team leader came over and asked if "I had any work to do?" I said "I didn't because the system was down." At this point she gets really snarky and snotty with the way she starts talking to me and says "are you reading on the clock?." I say "yes, because I have nothing to do." She says "you didn't tell anyone?", I said "I emailed the supervisor." She says "you could have told me." I'm thinking why in Christ's name would I do that when you talk to me like this and have a history of talking to me like this? I shutdown and just stop talking, and she makes her report.

At this point I should mention that there are rules about eating at your desk, having your phone out, etc. etc., however the company is very relaxed about enforcing these rules. I know that this team leader has observed people with their phones texting or have had them out and done nothing. It's also important to mention that the team leader has a negative attitude when talking to me, is often snarky and rude, tells me in demanding ways to do tasks, has made mistakes when she's had to train me in the past, has trained helpers to help us with our job - but has only trained them with the easiest tasks, leaving us all with the most difficult one's (this also costs a colleague of mine and me money with the bonus structure they have).

The manager calls me in and says I've been insubordinate, and I said "I didn't even realize that the team leader was someone I had to submit to." The assure me thats not the case here, and the get me to sign some sort "record of conversation."

Two days later the same thing essentially happens. Part of the system goes down, I pick up the book, and this time she gets one of her friends to call the manager on me. The manager sends the team leader over to try and give me more work. I say "alright I'll be over in a few minutes." At this point I have an epiphany and realize I don't trust this team leader, not even to train me correctly. So I find a way to partially complete some of the work I have (again a risky venture due to the fact that this causes more mistakes in my work, which will negatively affect me bonus wise due to the unfairly made rules they have about bonuses). She calls me and asks "why haven't I come over." I say "I've found some work to do I'm going to stay here and do it." She says "I want to you come over here and train with me anyways." At this point I shut down and don't say anything. She mock threatens me and says "would like to take it up with (insert manager's name)?" before hanging up.

I look around after she hangs up and there are fifteen other people in our group that are not able to do work because of the system being down, and I ask myself "you've just had a significant incident with me this past week, why are you trying to train me?" At this point I feel like this person's definitely out to get me, when I believe she needs only one person to train for this task.

I get sent home for this shortly after, and the next day we have to have a meeting. I tell the manager my side of the issue and I tell her that I don't trust this team leader right now and that I can't follow her direction. I can't be transferred because there's a hiring freeze, when ask them to allow my position (which has only one other person in it) to be put under the second team leader whom I get along with they say "no." They tell me "I have to get over it." While I was sent home I wrote a page and half list of issues I've had with the team leader and attached it to the write up they made me sign for being insubordinate. The next day I was informed that the pages I wrote were sent to my manager's boss and to HR, and the next week I would be addressed by that manager.

Given that more people are now involved and that Corporate America has tendency to support its "managers" over it's regular employees, I'm very worried about the outcome here.

My question is what can I do to have the best possible outcome for this situation? Any other thoughts about it would be welcome, too.

P.S. Why I read at my desk? - I read because it's one of my biggest interests right now, and I find I'm able to recuperate somewhat from the very noisy atmosphere and bright lights (I also wear sunglasses while I work). Sadly the recreation spots are overcrowded and are worse off sensory wise than the work area. They're also very unsanitary. I was sick with one thing after another for 8 weeks straight when I first started working there, and I was only able to stop being sick once I stopped going to the recreation areas for lunch and break. I've been reading and taking breaks at my desk now for nearly a year without there being issues with management.

There may still be time to save your job (if you want that) if you immediately de-escalate matters, take ownership of the situation by stating the facts without bias or emotion, apologize for it getting out of hand, and offer to bury the hatchet with your team lead. A frank conversation over an afternoon coffee can work wonders. Start off with a DEAR MAN statement:
Describe the problem. For example "I think we've gotten off on the wrong foot"
Express your feelings. For example "I'm concerned that this insubordination issue has gotten out of hand, and I believe that we can come to terms if we speak about it frankly"
Assert your resolution. For example "I love the work that I do, but when the server goes down, I'm unable to access my work and my sources. I always notify IT and my line manager when this happens. In the meantime, I've found this to be an opportune time to take a short reading break. I should have come to you sooner about this problem, since it interrupts my ability to work. I would like for the server to be fixed so that I can resume my job without interruptions. In the meantime, if there's something else where you feel I will make an impactful difference, I'll get started on that right away. I'll continue to take breaks at my desk, as I've always done, in line with company policy, and as you know, I like reading."
Reinforce your assertion. For example "Fixing the server will allow me to ensure that the work this company is relying on me for gets done on time. In my downtime, if you have work that will utilize my skills and add value, then we both stand to gain by making the lemons into lemonade. Barring such an opportunity, the time I take to rest my mind helps me take a fresh approach to problems when the servers come back online. This means I solve problems faster and better than I otherwise would. Since our work is related, you directly benefit from this, since there is less to clean up, and the work that you rely on is better overall and more robust."
Remember to be mindful, appear confident, and maintain the mentality of negotiation.
Expect for the solution to be that you get put on some other projects, but this very well might save your job, and in the meantime, it'll show your manager that you have some decent leadership qualities.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! for responding.

I can describe the problem.

I can do the emotional part about getting off to the wrong foot with management. But with TL I'm really going to have an issue there since they're responsible for training and, as I apparently learned, are able to order me to do things. This is a person that I don't trust and it will take me awhile to get back to trusting this person. I'm worried about that the time it will take will be too long for this company.

I can assert my resolution, but we're not allowed to take breaks at our desk. However, this is rarely enforced, but I do believe the break rooms are hazardous to my health. Again not sure how the reaction will be to that.

I can reassert my resolution; breaks at the desks have basically allowed me to keep going at this job.

I can be mindful, I can appear confident (although I don't really feel that way), and I can keep up a negotiating mentality. I've already asked to have the position be put under another team leader, and I've enquired about working in other positions. They have a hiring freeze right now so they won't move me, and they won't put the position under another team leader.

All in all your response puts me in a better place than where I was before. I still have some issues I need to work out. Thanks again.

I agree with carthago.

It seems at this point like your team leader is out to get you. The only thing you can do at this point is what carthago said, de-escalate matters. The team leader will eventually go away, but you need to let her think that she's "won" so she'll stop focusing on you.

Stop taking breaks at/reading at your desk. You're giving your enemies an opportunity to make your life much more unpleasant. Can you take breaks in your car? Or some other quiet place? You're not going to win an argument of "this rule is not enforced for anyone else."

If all this turns out to be intolerable for you, look for another job while you still have this one.

I see you're diagnosed, does your employer know that? If your disability is on file with their HR dept, (or what equivalent they have), they have got to take that into account and accommodate your issues, which include:

Impaired Executive Function (knowing what to do when there's nothing to do), impaired social functioning, comprehending and following verbal (as opposed to written) instructions, and alternate perspectives on logic, pragmatism and problem-solving.

This Team Leader is discriminating against your handicaps and bullying you because of them and you are protected from such treatment under the Americans with Disabilities Act. You need an assessment on file from a licensed psychologist, then its on the employer to understand your disability and make adjustments accordingly. They can't fire you for being handicapped - if they know you're handicapped and what your handicap is.

At a minimum, you can let HR know. Typically, they can only share accommodations with your manager, not diagnosis, unless you let them.

I talked to the psychologist I saw that originally diagnosed me and she suggested I don't disclose unless there are no other options.

Today I was finally called into the meeting with my manager's manger and my supervisor after they'd been meeting with HR all week about the document I wrote. I was told I have to make an effort in working with the team leader, but they also mentioned that are going to be coaching the team leader in working better with others. I asked if there was any place besides the break rooms that I could break in, and they mentioned outside, and I mentioned the weather. They said I'd have to figure it out on my own. So I'm going to see what I can do.

There's been a lot of chaos at my job recently and some of the people in our data entry capacity are being moved to phone jobs. That's something I know I can't do and I'm worried they might choose me to do it. I still need to see if I can survive the job without breaking at my desk. I'm also worried about an office political fallout since my supervisor, manager, and manager's manager all like this team leader. So disclosure might becoming in the near future, but for now I'm alright.

Thank you everyone for your help.

On paper it does sound like this Team Leader is focusing on you specifically, and if you answer back they put it down to insubordination. Thing is, just as they have the right to tell you when you are doing something wrong, breaking regulations etc; you also have the right to tell them when they are out of line.

When I'm working, and something craps out on me, I look for other work do be doing while the problem is fixed; but if there isn't anything I could be doing at this time, what then? I ask my superiors what jobs they think I should get on with at this time and I go and do them. One time I was even sent on break early because there was nothing to do.

Ask your Team Leader first and foremost what they would want you to be getting on with if the system craps out on you again. If it is something you can get on with, great; if it isn't let them know. If they try to pull rank and tell you not to go and do something else because you need to do the think that you are unable to do, politely remind them that rank or no rank, you deserve to be spoken to like they are spoken to. And if all else fails, use your camera on your phone to record conversations. It is underhanded, but it will give you the proof you need.