Diary of a non diagnosed 37 yr old man getting diagnosed

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ChristianSmith
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07 Apr 2015, 4:46 pm

Hello everyone

I'm going to start this thread so I can keep an eye what I'm doing and to hopefully help others in my situation. There seems more from the female aspergers view than male.

So I'm 37 and a man, I work as an electrician in Essex in the United Kingdom
I have never had friends and had confrontations constantly at school, I got told to leave my senior school at the age of 11 or be expelled. Then constantly got suspended from my new school, I was great at biology but not much else, oh and I never had friends.

So recently I have been exploring what the hell I am, I have always felt odd and always think outside the box. I get really depressed and get so engrossed and obsessed with hobbies for roughly about 2 years, then they seem to drift away and I move on to the next obsession.

Anyway last year I wanted to end my life, even though everything was going well, I just had an overwhelming feeling and did not think of anyone else. So anyway I eventually got better and stopped my fluoxetine.

So I am now sick and tired of feeling like I'm losing the plot and feeling like an outsider all the time, so I decided to look into what may be wrong with me.
I took the RDOS test and got 166/200 which is quite high, I took a couple of others and scored high on those as well. So then decided to make a doctors appointment.

Where I live im very lucky to be able to get an appointment the same day, so at 1830 today I went and saw the doctor. Told him how I felt, how I had behaved throughout my childhood and into adult life. I have managed to keep my job for 5 years and sadly have now moved into an office enviroment, which going ok for now.
So the doctor asked me some ( what seemed like stereotypical) questions which I answered truthfully (I hate lying). He mentioned ADHD but I don't think that's 100% the answer. I mentioned to him I have over 1900 photos on flickr of small plastic figures, each in their own sub albums ️and catalogued. I told him I used to collect 1970s coffee pots by J&g Meakin mostly designs by Jessie Tait. So anyway he said he would refer me, but look into who he could refer me to, I said to him please get someone who has dealt with autism in adults. I need someone with experience. So I'll keep you updated on this thread and sorry for going on, but I can talk for a long time about myself.

Christian


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nyxjord
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07 Apr 2015, 9:32 pm

Hello Christian, welcome to WP and I hope your diagnosis goes as you hope. I'm sure you'll find like-minded individuals here and hopefully some comfort in knowing you're not alone, as well.


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dryope
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07 Apr 2015, 11:08 pm

Good idea! It'll be interesting to watch your progress.

I'm not sure if I want to get formally diagnosed. I hate convincing people of things I know to be true. I'm your age exactly and a woman and we...tend to look like we have other issues since we've worked so hard to fit in for so long.

Maybe reading about your experience will encourage me. Though here in the US it costs lots of money to get diagnosed. :/

Good luck! I hope this goes smoothly for you. :)


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starkid
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07 Apr 2015, 11:29 pm

ChristianSmith wrote:
There seems more from the female aspergers view than male.

Seriously? Where?


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07 Apr 2015, 11:33 pm

Hi Christian, welcome to WP. I'll be very interested to read your story as it unfolds; I love reading diagnosis stories (it's kind of a sub-special interest within my broader interest in autism). I hope everything goes well for you, keep us posted!


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ChristianSmith
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08 Apr 2015, 12:47 am

starkid wrote:
ChristianSmith wrote:
There seems more from the female aspergers view than male.

Seriously? Where?


When I first started looking, I typed in aspergers autism vlog ( it came up with lots of female vloggers)

Then searched for aspergers autism blog, seemed to be once again lots of females with a voice.

Then I searched on you tube and you do get some videos, but it I found it difficult to navigate, naturally I wanted to start at that persons first ever video upload, but couldn't see a way of doing that on an iPad.

If you do know of a male vlog I could subscribe to, I would be incredibly grateful.

I'm good at finding out stuff like what's the best tarantula to start off with as a pet or how the wasp spider came to be in this country, but give me something like this and I get swamped by all the information.


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ChristianSmith
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08 Apr 2015, 12:51 am

Thank you for all for the encouraging words, I just would like to know why and how I can help myself function better, so in turn not get depressed.


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starkid
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08 Apr 2015, 12:52 am

ChristianSmith wrote:
If you do know of a male vlog I could subscribe to, I would be incredibly grateful.


I like cycleofsilence on youtube. InjuredMinds also made good youtube videos, but I stopped watching him because he's an as*hole for making a video saying that he should be able to say "n****r."


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ChristianSmith
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08 Apr 2015, 12:58 am

starkid wrote:
ChristianSmith wrote:
If you do know of a male vlog I could subscribe to, I would be incredibly grateful.


I like cycleofsilence on youtube. InjuredMinds also made good youtube videos, but I stopped watching him because he's an as*hole for making a video saying that he should be able to say "n****r."

I'll go and look now, thank you.

I dislike people using words like the n***** or p*** even bit**** I find makes me feel bad. SO I'll give injured minds a miss


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starkid
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08 Apr 2015, 1:13 am

I also like brokenharbour's youtube videos.


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ChristianSmith
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08 Apr 2015, 1:17 am

starkid wrote:
I also like brokenharbour's youtube videos.


I'll have a look later, watched cycleofsilence , I found the first 2 videos quite comforting and informative. A massive thank you for your help Starkid.


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thiswaygo
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08 Apr 2015, 12:35 pm

Hi, Christian:

Thanks for posting this and I hope you do continue to log your process of evaluation. I am 44 and am just now trying to get the process going, so I will be looking forward to further posts.



ChristianSmith
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08 Apr 2015, 4:04 pm

thiswaygo wrote:
Hi, Christian:

Thanks for posting this and I hope you do continue to log your process of evaluation. I am 44 and am just now trying to get the process going, so I will be looking forward to further posts.


I only decided yesterday morning to go somewhere with this, but I have been visiting the doctor now and then with depression, so I suppose ive already jumped through the hoops. (Went through the steps)


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ChristianSmith
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25 Apr 2015, 1:24 am

So yesterday I got a referral letter to my local hospital (I'm in the UK) to go to the occupational therapist/mental health unit, I'm starting to think I may not be aspergers, I'm confused, I can speak to people a lot! But I get these crashes. Makes just want to sleep. Also what the hell is wrong with people in the UK and their failure to realise that immigration is not the problem, it's the same poxy governments we have had for the past 100 years, vote for the Green Party, if the cart doesn't start rolling, we'll never get to our destination. So sick of people listening to the mainstream media, unlearn everything, teach yourself something


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 156 of 200
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You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
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ChristianSmith
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25 Apr 2015, 1:27 am

Wen, bit of a rant up there ^^^^

So I'm nervous, scared of what I'll discover. I just want to have that label of something, then I can start to learn how to cope with people.


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 156 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 64 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
AQ:39
RAADS-R 172