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eemameem1230
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18 Apr 2015, 6:24 am

Hi -

So, I'm experiencing this awkward situation, some of the awkwardness being caused by Asperger ways and such.

I am a music student and I have an old piano professor and his wife who have been mentors to me for a few years. I live in a city area for university, and they life about 45 minutes away in the mountains.

I have house-sat for them on many occasions over the past two years, always for free (I would never ask for payment, and they don't offer usually), and usually for extended periods of time (1 week, 2, even 3 weeks).

I appreciate them trusting me with their home. However, here are the issues:

It's very far away. I have summer school, might have a job, and am working massively hard on some creative projects so I can prepare for a big recital next year. I have many instruments and a desktop computer for those musical projects, and I can't move those away from my home 45 minutes away.

Driving, for me, is very stressful. When I'm tired of driving I drive like a lunatic. I like to keep driving to 10 minutes except for maybe once a week.

I hate living a vagabond kind of life, where I'm throwing tons of stuff into my car every day (a scooter for exercising, books for coffee shops, book-bag for school, sheet music for practicing, laptop, chargers, some food, change of clothes in case I swim, blah, blah, blah, and my car becomes a disaster zone) just so I can "camp out" in my normal town to do school, socialize with my friends, and work on my projects. This is so exhausting to me that when it happens I feel so frustrated and tired.

Which brings me to my next point -- routine. I like my house. I want to be around my things and the normal sounds outside of my house. I want to be near the people I socialize with. This job makes me very lonely, because I am constantly having to leave and go to this isolated house in the woods to feed cats and whatnot. And what if I want to randomly travel to a neighboring town to see old friends? I can't if I am watching a house. I can't even sleep over at my family's house nearby because of the obligation.

My professor wants me here for about 20 days total, and then "maybe a week or two in July." Sounds like a lot. He knows I'll be in town, but I don't want to explain ALL of these things to him. I don't want to disappoint, nor do I want to lie.

What should I do? Am I being a brat? Or does this sound reasonable? Any advice on how to talk to him and his wife? I can do one week, fine. Anything more sounds annoying. Sometimes it feels like I'm being taken advantage of. I think they see it as the opposite: free cool house for a month.

Thanks!



MollyTroubletail
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Joined: 21 Oct 2010
Age: 50
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18 Apr 2015, 6:37 am

NT's would simply thank them and say they're full of projects and schoolwork, and they are sorry they can't make it right now. They have the right to ask you to house sit especially not realizing it's difficult for you. You have the right to thank them for their confidence in you but say you're too busy to do it. You don't really have to go into any details about this.



eemameem1230
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Joined: 16 Apr 2015
Posts: 10

18 Apr 2015, 8:37 pm

Thanks! I'll give it a try.