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zeldapsychology
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27 Apr 2015, 7:46 am

My dad believes since I can handle Disney World and a Zelda concert then I can handle "being around people." It's around people doing something I don't want to I get emotional and upset. Waiting for 4 hrs. at the TN airport to get home to FL anxiety THROUGH THE ROOF vs. my family just calmly sitting and using electronics. Having to go to the DMV today OMG! anxiety OMG! it's going to take forever I was done & home in less than an hour.

The anticipation of things really upsets me. :-( He said if I would have stayed going to church vs. crying and coming home I may have a boyfriend or job by now instead of skyping a guy and video games all the time. :-(

IMO I DO handle the bigger events since I WANT to be their. I LOVE Potter and the themed worlds at Universal LOVE Mickey etc. LOVE Zelda *hint MY NAME WP* so all are places I WANT to be. vs. the 4 hr. plane wait or anticipation of the DMV. :-(

Not sure if anyone ca relate I hear so much on WP OMG! big crowds NO WAY! But for me I block out Black Friday and look at it from a research studying mindset it's fun seeing people turn into psycho animals over blankets that are on sale. LoL!



mr_bigmouth_502
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27 Apr 2015, 8:27 am

It depends. Most of the time, no, I hate crowds, and I find it quite overwhelming when I have to interact with a large number of people in a short time. On the other hand, there was a huge crowd at the last concert I went to, and I didn't mind so much, probably because the other people around me were too busy getting into the music. That, and I was getting really into the music myself, as it was Marilyn Manson and I knew a good number of the songs. That being said, the parts where they played songs I didn't know tended to be quite boring, and when I lost my uncle in the crowd, I started getting quite frustrated and anxious looking for him, as I don't like being separated from people I trust in those sort of situations.

So yeah, I can relate. If I feel comfortable and I'm doing something I love, crowds aren't so bad. If I'm not doing something I enjoy, and I'm in a situation where I feel vulnerable, then I absolutely abhor crowds.



ToughDiamond
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27 Apr 2015, 9:54 am

Funny you should ask that. I'm going to be dragged to Disneyworld quite soon. A lot depends on how thick the crowds turn out to be and how keen the others are on rest breaks and limiting the venture. Hopefully they'll get tired of walking at about at the same time as I get overloaded.

It wouldn't be so bad if I believed in Disney, but I can't say I do. Paying all that money out just to see some guy in a Mickey Mouse costume and have a few fairground rides, paying extortionate meal prices because they won't let us bring our own food into the place, for me it's mostly likely to be underwhelming, and annoying. But it's a big thing with a few people I care about, for some reason, so I'll grit my teeth and try hard to stay sweet. I've only dared confide in one of them about how I really feel about the venture, and I feel guilty about that. Why does everybody like these things so much?

Main problem with crowds for me is the need to keep dodging people all the time, it's very tiring.



Kate.com
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27 Apr 2015, 10:01 am

I don't do so well. Too much stimuli. Too much that seems to insist on my attention.

If I'm with a friend, I do better.

It's difficult.



GwinnaUnbound
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27 Apr 2015, 10:21 am

I've also noticed with myself that I can handle big crowds when it's something I really want to do, but if it isn't, I get overstimulated easier. I think it has to do with our special interests and obsessions. If I have a special interest (like Disney World), I might become so absorbed in the experience of being there (look at the princess castle!) that I might not even notice the crowd or heat around me. Also, when I don't have to interact with others in a crowd, I tend to retreat into my own world. If I can't do this like when I'm somewhere I absolutely dread being, I tend to have more sensory problems.



elysian1969
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27 Apr 2015, 10:21 am

I despise being in crowds and do not handle being in them well. The older I get the more difficulty I have with being in crowded places such as malls, fairs, grocery stores, etc. I get claustrophobic incredibly easily in tight spaces and really get wigged out being too close to strange people (meaning other than family or very close friends.) I try to go to public places in the off-hours when I must go. I do Christmas shopping in the middle of the night at the 24 hour stores when no one's there but the stockers and a cashier or two.

If I go to events like concerts, it has to be a band I REALLY want to see, and even then, I sit in the nose-bleed seats where it is unlikely it will be crowded. Being in close proximity to strange people for any length of time actually makes me physically ill. That's one of the reasons I really hate it when I have to go to the Dr.'s office and it's busy- if I have to sit in a crowded waiting room, if I wasn't sick before, I will be! I even go to church at early service (8:30 AM) first of all because I'm up and about anyway, and it's the most sparsely populated service. I generally don't have to sit close to anyone unless they are a close friend and I want to sit with them. I've been going to the same church for about 15 years. I know most people there to some degree, so church isn't usually too stressful.

It's not about being snotty or not wanting to be nice to people- it's just that I can't tolerate being close to strange people and just can't stand that feeling of being walled in by people. Ewww...... :heart: :skull:


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aoeuidhtns
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27 Apr 2015, 11:01 am

Crowds do raise my anxiety that I can mostly control. Places like theme parks or malls are tolerable as long as I'm going in the same direction as the main crowd. A couple weeks ago I was at a ballgame and was doing really good during the game. I listen to the broadcast of the game so I don't hear as much crowd noise but if it's a huge rival game, I can't go. I see too much potential in violence and that really pushes me over the edge. If I'm walking against a large crowd, that's a whole different matter. What happens is things start to close in around me, everyone is walking towards me, looking at me, then the noise level really starts to rise and I get hot. After that point my vision blurs and if it wasn't for the fact I was with my wife holding her hand, I would have got behind a pillar or something to wait the crowd out... Next time though, I'll just sit in my seat for 20 mins post game or leave a little early in the 8th. I like going to ball games despite not really being a huge baseball fan.



CaroK
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27 Apr 2015, 11:14 am

I'm the same as most others here - it seems to be that the pleasure derived from being in a place I love completely outweighs the anxiety of having all those other people aroundlove being at theme parks (love the white knuckle rides more than my kids) and can handle being in a theatre or concert hall as long as the lights are low. But I HATE being on a crowded bus or train to the extent that I go to work on a bus that goes on long winding route that never gets crowded even though it takes twice the time to get there. A suggestion to go to a team/leaving do/Christmas drink in a bar after work has me squirming with anxiety.

I've had the same experience as elysian1969 - it's got more difficult to cope with having people around the older I've got. It has got to the point of deciding to retire from work later this year so I don't have to endure being around people at all every day.
I'm just so happy to be at home alone, Skyping my children, playing games, talking to my fish, and spending days down my allotment tending my veggies.

So, zeldapsychology, I'm well on the way to being just like you! Luckily, I've got no one to tell me off for not conforming to their expectations.

Go your own way - you won't be happy (or cope) any other way



dianthus
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27 Apr 2015, 11:58 am

Not all crowds are equal. It depends on the environment and what people are there for and how they behave. I wouldn't be caught dead shopping on Black Friday (I mean, literally, you could end up dead). I hate shopping in crowded places.

I've had widely varying experiences at concerts but most (other than classical) have been really unpleasant. Best show I ever attended was an ultra rare Bjork concert in Atlanta. People had traveled there from all over the country to see her. Everyone I met that night was very courteous and friendly. It was wonderful and I didn't want to leave. Most other concerts I have been to, people were just there to get drunk, and/or had season passes and didn't care about the artist, or else went to the opposite extreme as obsessive groupies who would stomp you into the ground you just to get a few inches closer to their idol.

At classical events, there's vast difference between, say, the quiet and attentive crowd who comes to see an orchestra from another country, vs. the crowd who comes to a university student orchestra concert (lots of other students in the audience using tablets and phones, putting their feet up on the seats, whispering, and generally being obnoxious).



ToughDiamond
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27 Apr 2015, 2:04 pm

dianthus wrote:
At classical events, there's vast difference between, say, the quiet and attentive crowd who comes to see an orchestra from another country, vs. the crowd who comes to a university student orchestra concert (lots of other students in the audience using tablets and phones, putting their feet up on the seats, whispering, and generally being obnoxious).

I guess the difference is, in a word, courtesy. I can cope fine with polite folks, even in a thick-ish crowd.



Holmesian
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27 Apr 2015, 2:10 pm

If I really want to be there, maybe. It doesn't matter how much I want to be there if the crowd is pushy and rude, or even just in-your-face (where I live, there's lots of people that think it's okay to start digging through your cart to see what you're buying). There's many factors. Mostly...no.


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vercingetorix451
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27 Apr 2015, 2:12 pm

I prefer not to, but I can do it for short periods of time. Also depends on the crowd itself.



Joe90
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27 Apr 2015, 4:05 pm

Well, yes and no. I kind of have to handle big crowds, but I hate big crowds. I can't stand people invading my personal space, unless I know them, am with them, or am having some sort of social contact with them, eg asking a shop assistant something, etc. Otherwise, I cannot enjoy myself with I'm among everlasting crowds. And little kids (under 9) make everywhere more stressful and crowded than need be. They don't seem to have developed their motor skills yet, and they suddenly run right into you, or make sudden movements, and other unpredictable things. Kids are what adds tremendously to the stress of being in crowds. I think if I went to an adult concert, or some other event that was not for kids, then I might be a little more relaxed, although I still dislike strangers standing right in my personal space.

Also crowded buses or trains stress me out. I like to be able to move around in my personal space. Well, I suppose it's OK when you're sitting down, although I rather not have a stranger sitting next to me, but when it gets really crowded then I accept that somebody's bound to sit next to me. When there are plenty of other empty seats available but someone just plonks themselves down right next to me, that annoys me more. But when I'm standing up on a busy bus, I hate it. I get very agitated, and it's worse when someone with a stroller wants to come on or off, because I think ''will I be in their way standing here, shall I get off to let them by, or needn't I?'' That's when my social anxiety kicks in, because I worry that people will judge me if I get off, thinking ''that stupid girl needn't get off, there's plenty of space for people to get by!'' but if I don't get off to let them by people might judge me, thinking ''that stupid girl is standing in the way of everyone, she should step off and let them by...''


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ToughDiamond
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27 Apr 2015, 8:01 pm

One big factor for me is who is with me. If I'm alone, I can usually cope better because I know I can escape any time I like. But with company, I often get the impression I'd be seen as somehow offending or embarrassing them by ducking out of the shared venture. Awareness of that social pressure and loss of control over my environment seems to make it harder to endure.



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27 Apr 2015, 8:23 pm

Do you even like going to church? And if he figures you'd meet a boyfriend at church of all places, why wouldn't you be able to meet friends or a boyfriend at an event you like? Also I might shop online on black friday, but I sure as hell would not physically go out into that mess. I prefer to do any physical shopping at obscure times, like in the middle of the day on Monday unless its somewhere that's not usually too crowded.


Though I will admit the meeting people thing is hard even with activities you might enjoy, at least in my experience...I mean I have not really met anyone I've had ongoing contact with doing anything really. I have met people through people I know here and there but that is about it....but I am always open to exchange phone numbers with people if they think its worth meeting up again, it just doesn't really happen...but maybe that is just me. I certainly feel like its more likely if I am doing something I enjoy like being at a concert. Though even if its something I enjoy I still don't have much tolerance for too large of a crowd or too much crowding I've missed concerts before because I didn't think it would be a good idea to be around people....last time I felt that way I went anyways, and that just reinforced my reasons for not going if I am not in the mood :oops: :( .