Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Toxic femininity

Page 8 of 10 [ 146 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

naturalplastic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Aug 2010
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,147
Location: temperate zone

08 May 2015, 4:41 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I have a female coworker who is 45+ old single, in a very senior position, she said outright that she wouldn't marry a man unless he's a millionaire - yes, she said that literally.


Good luck for her (she won't find him).


My guess: her point was that she doesnt give a crap about marriage at all. Ergo "I will only do it if the price is right".

Not: "I expect to snag a millionaire any minute".



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

08 May 2015, 4:52 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I have a female coworker who is 45+ old single, in a very senior position, she said outright that she wouldn't marry a man unless he's a millionaire - yes, she said that literally.


Good luck for her (she won't find him).


My guess: her point was that she doesnt give a crap about marriage at all. Ergo "I will only do it if the price is right".

Not: "I expect to snag a millionaire any minute".



What the....

What are you?

She told me the exact same words the night after her best friend's wedding.



Amity
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,714
Location: Meandering

08 May 2015, 5:01 pm

In February a spokesperson for Seeking Arrangements, was interviewed on a topical talk-show in Ireland, and this industry is what I consider to be the pinnacle of toxic femininity; A 'sugar daddy' will pay a few thousand per month in gifts to keep a 'sugar baby', in exchange for "companionship". The ratio of men to women is 1:8.
https://www.seekingarrangement.com/how-it-works
This article describes one writers investigative experiences with the 'dating company' in 2010 http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2010/ ... ent-201005

Quote:
To overcome my reservations about walking the line between dating and prostitution, I told myself that any such concerns were the result of societal conditioning. The idea that mixing money and mating is inherently bad, I reasoned, was a fallacy based on our collective obsession with moralizing sex. Mating rituals involving the exchange of gifts—be they hunks of meat, small fishes, or diamond rings—are ingrained in many species, from apes to seabirds, to humans. It is only natural for males to target cues to fertility such as youth and beauty, and for females to be drawn to displays of resources. Why sneer at suspected gold diggers like Heather Mills or the late Anna Nicole Smith if they were merely following their evolutionary instincts?



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

08 May 2015, 5:17 pm

Maybe I should sign up as sugar baby :lol:.

Quote:
and this industry is what I consider to be the pinnacle of toxic femininity;



This is old, I mean, bunny Playboy never lacks new candidates.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

08 May 2015, 5:27 pm

Playboy interview according to uncyclopedia:


If you have made it this far, congratulations. You’ll need to prepare for your interview and audition.

For your interview, think about:

Why you love (but are not in love with) Hugh Hefner.
What is it about him that is a turn on?
What is it about him that make him so appealing (HINT: Not his money), so vital?
How you will give yourself to him so he has the delight of breaking your hymen?
What are your hopes for bringing peace to the peoples of the world?
How you understand that no one woman can have Hef for her very own because that would be selfish to all of your hutchmates.

For your audition be prepared to take the following tests of skill and agility:
Topless pillow fight (HINT: be playful – this about bonding with your sister hutchmates, not about cleaning their clocks)
Topless pillow fight on a trampoline (HINT: know when to stop bouncing – when a girl stops bouncing, her sister hutchmates should also stop bouncing because it is a invitation to playful wrestling.)
Chicken fights in the pool (HINT: The point is not knock the other players over, but to remove their bikini top)
Demonstrate the ability to give CPR as a result of your stunning beauty, childlike sexuality or stamina (HINT: Do not break Hef's sternum, this would be a very bad thing)

:lol: :lol: :lmao: :lmao:


Image



Amity
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,714
Location: Meandering

08 May 2015, 5:38 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Maybe I should sign up as sugar baby :lol:.
Now that would be interesting!

Quote:
And since joining the site, I’ve been on a few coffee dates. Pretty positive experiences, actually. I met an editor for a fashion periodical, a translator for the U.N., and a girl whose dad”—he stopped to laugh—“whose biological dad had just cut her off. The only negative experience I had was with a girl who was dating a hedge-funder...”


These are regular women, not just the playboy bunny types. There is a 20,000 user-base in Ireland alone, all of those are not Lauren Hutton type beauties.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

08 May 2015, 5:44 pm

Amity wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Maybe I should sign up as sugar baby :lol:.
Now that would be interesting!

Quote:
And since joining the site, I’ve been on a few coffee dates. Pretty positive experiences, actually. I met an editor for a fashion periodical, a translator for the U.N., and a girl whose dad”—he stopped to laugh—“whose biological dad had just cut her off. The only negative experience I had was with a girl who was dating a hedge-funder...”


These are regular women, not just the playboy bunny types. There is a 20,000 user-base in Ireland alone, all of those are not Lauren Hutton type beauties.


Yeah, there's no correlation between this and model-type beauty, I've seen obese ones who believed to teeth they're entitled to date rich men and have gifts.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

08 May 2015, 5:58 pm

Agemaki wrote:
So do these women who insist on marrying up find the partners they want? Do they settle or do they end up alone? Obviously there is a limited number of men with all of the above attributes. A friend of mine in high school was around 188 cm tall (6'2'') and I recall it gave her a lot of grief to be taller than most of the boys. At the same time I have long been told that (prior to lucking out and meeting my husband) that a major reason for my lack of success with men was that I didn't act like most women--that I acted too intelligent, assertive, and decisive. Apparently this is seen as intimidating, or so I have been told.

Much like masculinity, social pressure to conform to feminine roles saturates society and comes from both men and women. I think that women are told that they should value certain types of accomplishments in potential male partners to the degree that financial success/height etc. could be considered emblematic of "maleness." In that sense women taught to be drawn to men who are "more male" than they are. Obviously everyone isn't this way but I this this is the sort of dynamic that is going on.

I think that the polarization of gender roles in general is toxic. Ultimately it hurts everyone.


I think half or so still single forever. there's less and less guys who meet that standard now and it keeps decreasing. they won't settle for a lessor guy or if they do its when they 40 and want to have kids and there's no other choice.
one small satisfaction for my death I suppose. though fact that women would rather be single forever then date me due to my income depresses me a lot.

think it depends on the guy I'd like a tall smart girl. as long as she isn't an ass about it and always telling me shes smarter or knows more then me. and that I'm stupid. that I can't stand.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

08 May 2015, 5:59 pm

androbot01 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
androbot01 wrote:
Image
Really?

Booyakasha, thanks. Sometimes things just suck.

Sly, hugs... one thing I learned in the course I took is that if things aren't working, you need to try something new. I kicked fwb out. I wouldn't have done that before.


hes a actor so has status and money.

hugs. thats good, doesn't sound like he was very nice to you, you deserve to be loved and treated with respect.

Thanks :)

Image

Was he born a successful actor?

no but his main role is for a dwarf, so a 6 foot guy wouldn't been able to fill that role, however do you see him being say iron man or many other roles in past movies. he was born with acting skills though, then a role came along where he could show his skills. most movies/shows would not have hired him though, sad but just how the industry is they prefer tall handsome men who are in good shape. he's probably my favorite actor/character from that show.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

09 May 2015, 2:29 am

LOL
Straight to the point, this one is American in case you're wondering.

Image


This one was the only one of four who didn't want anything with the millionnaire obscene me; this one is from the Philippines, in case you're wondering:

Image

1 lf 4; there's still a little hope for the womankind :lol:.



Booyakasha
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Oct 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,898

09 May 2015, 2:43 am

voleregard wrote:

Booyakasha wrote:
I don't think anyone who posted here thinks that ALL women are golddiggers....but that a high percentage of them are..


Very high, I'd say. Seems to me that women try to play the role of loving someone for who they are, but sooner or later, if the money's not there, they'll eventually go someplace where they can get it. Or status. Status can be as good as money, because sooner or later it is likely to turn into money. Or they think it will. I got chased just for being in uniform. They knew virtually nothing else about me.

Fortunately in this story, the girl made her move before it was too late for the guy. I've heard two stories just recently of men who weren't so lucky, well-off married men who got hit by the recession, and the women wouldn't stay with them through the slump. They bolted.


This reminded me of my late grandma, who put up with my grandpa's misdeeds because of the money... And when she died they found hidden in bed, madras, wardrobes, drawers stashes of money she was keeping for god knows what. She used to buy me second hand toys though, toys from kinder eggs already assembled.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

09 May 2015, 3:35 am

Booyakasha wrote:
voleregard wrote:

Booyakasha wrote:
I don't think anyone who posted here thinks that ALL women are golddiggers....but that a high percentage of them are..


Very high, I'd say. Seems to me that women try to play the role of loving someone for who they are, but sooner or later, if the money's not there, they'll eventually go someplace where they can get it. Or status. Status can be as good as money, because sooner or later it is likely to turn into money. Or they think it will. I got chased just for being in uniform. They knew virtually nothing else about me.

Fortunately in this story, the girl made her move before it was too late for the guy. I've heard two stories just recently of men who weren't so lucky, well-off married men who got hit by the recession, and the women wouldn't stay with them through the slump. They bolted.


This reminded me of my late grandma, who put up with my grandpa's misdeeds because of the money... And when she died they found hidden in bed, madras, wardrobes, drawers stashes of money she was keeping for god knows what. She used to buy me second hand toys though, toys from kinder eggs already assembled.




The problem is not a matter of the typical gold digger, the Hollywood-pictured gold digger (Sugar baby) who explicitly demands gifts and luxuries is a rare case in life.

What is far more common, is women evaluating men by income, in a way more subtle than gold-diggers, this became a norm among a lot of women (Dare I say the majority?) and they would leave the man the moment he loses his job or his wealth.



Booyakasha
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Oct 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,898

09 May 2015, 4:32 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Booyakasha wrote:
voleregard wrote:

Booyakasha wrote:
I don't think anyone who posted here thinks that ALL women are golddiggers....but that a high percentage of them are..


Very high, I'd say. Seems to me that women try to play the role of loving someone for who they are, but sooner or later, if the money's not there, they'll eventually go someplace where they can get it. Or status. Status can be as good as money, because sooner or later it is likely to turn into money. Or they think it will. I got chased just for being in uniform. They knew virtually nothing else about me.

Fortunately in this story, the girl made her move before it was too late for the guy. I've heard two stories just recently of men who weren't so lucky, well-off married men who got hit by the recession, and the women wouldn't stay with them through the slump. They bolted.


This reminded me of my late grandma, who put up with my grandpa's misdeeds because of the money... And when she died they found hidden in bed, madras, wardrobes, drawers stashes of money she was keeping for god knows what. She used to buy me second hand toys though, toys from kinder eggs already assembled.




The problem is not a matter of the typical gold digger, the Hollywood-pictured gold digger (Sugar baby) who explicitly demands gifts and luxuries is a rare case in life.

What is far more common, is women evaluating men by income, in a way more subtle than gold-diggers, this became a norm among a lot of women (Dare I say the majority?) and they would leave the man the moment he loses his job or his wealth.


i get what you're saying, and I'm sorry things are like that. I have similar experiences from a slightly different angle as I never had to date a woman and I didn't have such friends who'd evaluate men solely by income, since I doubt they would want me for a friend anyway (how could I possibly lift their status since I have no status or money?)

although I had a friend once who wanted us to show up at her place with the car so everyone would see how her friend has a car. Not even our car yet, car of the company :lol: we have nothing, but that doesn't matter. just the appearances, always the appearances and the image she might create in the eyes of the others.



goofygoobers
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2012
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 664
Location: America

09 May 2015, 8:54 am

Agemaki wrote:
Male and female gender roles are usually perceived as existing in opposition to each other, the one defining the other. I would guess that problematic aspects of one gender have counterparts in the other. The above examples of women seeing their male mates as cash cows reinforces male gender roles of identity based around being "the provider," albeit taken to an extreme.

The article in this link discusses some problematic aspects of female gender normativity.

http://www.alternet.org/gender/what-doe ... n-be-woman


I skimmed through it a bit, and my question for the author is why he's wanting to describe what it's like to be a girl when he's a transman. That doesn't make much sense to me.



goofygoobers
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2012
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 664
Location: America

09 May 2015, 8:57 am

The only time I would really care about money is if I was married and needed it for something. It might be easier to buy a house or a car if both me and my partner had some sort of income.



Aniihya
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jan 2015
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 771

09 May 2015, 5:28 pm

I am a male that doesn't necessarily need a woman who has money or a degree. I am personally poor. All I wish is a woman who likes video games, anime and can keep up in an educated debate.