Autism and interracial dating...
I am a 25 year old autistic white male, seeking an African-American woman 25 to 30 years, and I know this isn't a dating website, but I'd like some advice on how to how to break the ice, properly ask a woman out to a dinner for 2, and/or maybe a movie at her house.
There are many obstacles beating me back from dating an African-American woman.
1. I also attend a black church where hitting on the black women who are concentrated on worshipping the High Almighty is unacceptable.
2. I want to attend Virginia State University in Ettrick, Virginia, in which the college is a Historically Black College and University (or AKA "HBCU).
3. I've tried (and still am) trying to find the right girl on this website:
InterracialDatingCentral.com
4. I am interested in a certain topic - The American Civil War - and it includes 2 icons that turn off African-Americans, especially women:
1. The Confederate battle flag
2. The Ku Klux Klan (AKA "the KKK")
Could I also get some advice on if this a proper dicision to go with and be killed by her parents if I say a racial slur towards my black girlfriend, if I am lucky enough to reel in the bait, or should I date a white woman?
Please let me know.
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Christina Jenniston Jameson
She/Her/Hers/Herself
XJ220RACER
Snowy Owl
Joined: 5 Apr 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 167
Location: Humboldt County, California
I'd be careful in talking about the KKK around her, that's very easy to misinterpret, even if your interest in it is purely from the outside (and I agree that it is very interesting)
I really hope that you don't plan on calling her a racial slur, especially on a date. That would hurt her and yes, you'd be setting yourself up for trouble.
I think that long distance or international relationships are ideal for Aspies, maybe interracial as well, but probably to a lesser extent. An LDR cancels out the status anxiety because of how far you are outside of peer group, and if there is a language barrier, it also makes communication a lot easier as Aspies tend to talk in very blunt and literal terms that makes it easy for someone not as acquainted with the language to understand. I certainly find it a lot easier to communicate, even on deeper levels, with people from other countries than anyone closer to what would be my own peer group.
If you like the looks of black women, have you considered dating a woman from Africa?
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"Psychic kids, try to understand who made them this way, so they don't feel bad...floating in space, the ghost is out there, so you're not alone, only out there"
Sagittarius, ISFP, diagnosed with AS when I was 13.
http://www.last.fm/user/DolphinCove
I'm in a relationship with an Asian woman. Usually, women from another race will look more desireable than women from one's own race. This is also why mixed race people (whether we're talking Halle Berry or Brandon Lee) tend to be good-looking.
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“He who controls the spice controls the universe.”
My wife is a Trinidadian of African descent. I am an American of northern European descent.
I've also dated other women of African descent.
Please don't mention the KKK--unless it's tied in with a discussion about Reconstruction, or perhaps the Civil Rights movement. Even this discussion should occur after you've known the person a while, and have established a consistent rapport over at least a few months.
Use the same approach approaching "black" women as you would if you approached "white" women. They are human, after all. I don't know any "black" women who would respond well to someone who tailored their "approach" to their "race."
You don't have to be in a Pentecostal church or whatever to meet "black" women.
Interracial dating is not rare, by any means. Especially in cities, an interracial couple does not excite curiosity.
It was a big deal up to the 1970s. It's really not at this point.
RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,185
Location: Adelaide, Australia
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I highly recommend not mentioning the KKK, even as an asexual person like me I KNOW that it would be a turn-off.
Likewise, I actually am really good friends with an interracial Aspie couple; one of them is Italian and the other is Hispanic. They always talk to me about each other, and it is one of the strongest bonds I have ever seen in any relationship. This is coming from a person who has so far in life seen many implications that romantic relationships do not last forever, and I have experienced this with couples of all ages, which has turned me off from being in one myself.
Hey! I'm henry White in color. My soulmate Sherlin is black. our love started at online. Though we belongs to different colors, we never feel that love has color, we been together for a year now. I truly love him no matter the color of his skin or his culture. People use to tell me “why you don’t date your own kind?” I tell them “Iove has no color ", we are looking for our blended babies.
Before I moved in with (and eventually married) a blonde haired/blue eyed Irish/German mix, I must have dated just about every race I could find in California (with Middle Eastern/Arab being the only major exception I can think of). Being a large university college student provided me with such a variety of unique opportunities. Before agreeing to crossracial dates, I got to know each individual well enough to be able to focus on our shared interests during our time together, thus racial or even political discussions were usually kept to a mimimum if initiated at all. I found cultural chat to be more bonding as well as interesting, especially topics like food cuisines and artistic expression. Oh the experiences I can fondly remember, from Mexican cooking techniques, to jazz and R&B music history lessons, and I'll never forget those awesome Asian massages! There was (and still is) so much to discover about others without visiting uncomfortable areas of group histories. I'm sure the avoidance of controversial or potentially offensive subjects (especially on a first date) would make as much sense today as it did back in the 1980's.
FWIW, I remember the time my blonde/blue NT spouse first asked me about my ethnic makeup when we were dating and I took a chance by replying that "I'm a Navajo/Italian mix, which means I have to beat myself up every Columbus Day". So I guess with certain pointes of view it's a bit of an interracial marriage after all?
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"Small talk is for small minds."
Neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 125 of 200
Neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 93 of 200
RAADS:
Total score-161.0 Language-18.0 Social relatedness-69.0 Sensory/motor-39.0
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