New to WP and would appreciate some advice please.

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Hi all,
I'm Emz.
I'll try and not bore you too much with my personal bs for which there is lots.
I'm 32, have 2 sons (1 ASD & 1 NT) and I was diagnosed with Aspergers a few months ago.
I've known from an early age there was something different about me but never knew what until I was going through the diagnosis process with my son when he was 4 yrs old.

My childhood was filled with the usual bullying etc. and my family seemed oblivious to everything so I just accepted the fact I was a weirdo and tried assimilate the best I could, then during my son's assessments it was like a lightbulb went on. I went for an assessment myself but was told I was 'borderline' and advised to see a psychologist. I did and was mis-diagnosed with depression and given anti-depressants (which I never took). After multiple failed attempts over the next couple of years I gave up.

Skip over around 8-9 years, I now have 2 sons, a boyfriend that's supportive and for the first time in years felt safe enough to think about the future, so I tried again. Determined to get an answer I went through the whole process again, went to GP and refused the anti-depressants, pushed for a referral, waited 6 months to hear anything back and eventually got to speak to a counseling psychologist who after 2 sessions came to the conclusion I probably had Aspegers and sent me for an assessment. This time round I was given a full assessment, not just a 5 minute interview I had previously been sent for and I received my 'DISCO certificate' as I call it in February.

Now the personal bit.
For years I've been trying to change everything about myself to 'fit in' which has led to among other things abusive relationships, left me with very little self confidence and too many complexes/anxieties to list.
The whole point in getting a diagnosis was the first step in trying to get my life in order. I have 2 son's that I am trying to raise as responsible members of society, (how can I do that when I don't even participate never mind have a job to support them or myself).
I needed to put things in perspective. Figure out which categories my many issues fall into, pile A: symptoms of Aspergers or pile B: symptoms of trying to deal with it when I didn't know what it was.
I have my answer and I am mostly happy about it. I have Aspergers and it's awesome! I feel vindicated about so many of my little 'quirks' and have almost completely stopped wondering if I am emotionally ret*d and or mentally ill.

So my problem, and the reason I'm here asking for any advice is this.

In order for me to move on I need to get over some of my most ingrained anxieties and I don't know where to start. I am essentially scared of people and avoid them whenever I can.
Over the past 5 years I've pretty much withdrawn from society altogether. I rarely leave the house unless I'm taking my son's somewhere. I don't work, I'm not close to my family and don't have friends or socialise in any way anymore (online or real life).
I am on a waiting list for a post-diagnostic 'group' but until then the only adult I speak to on a regular basis is my boyfriend. He's working overseas so we talk on skype most days but I don't want all this to monopolise our conversations. I know that I should to talk to someone about everything but past experience has made me reluctant to put myself out there to try again hence why it's taken me since February to get brave enough to post this!

Anyway, apologies for the rambling and thanks for reading,
Emz

Hey Emz.

Congrats on making your 1st post! Hope you find this forum as informative as I have

As for your anxiety and trust issues, finding a good therapist or psychologist will be very beneficial in helping you work through/move forward with your life. Signing up for the post-diag group is a great start to learning more about others and yourself, so I hope you'll get in. This might just be me, but I find that kids are usually the least judgmental, so maybe you can start working on your communication/social skills with your own kids. Perhaps when you go grocery shopping or pick your kids up from school, you could chit chat on a superficial level with the cashier or teachers/parents. Maybe start with a simple 'hello' on day 1 and over the course of a week/a month gradually build up to asking them 'how are you' or 'how was your weekend' etc. If it's too overwhelming for you, then maybe have your boyfriend there as sort of a security blanket (sorry..couldn't think of a better term) whenever he comes back. Hope that helps.

Hi! I am a female with AS about your age with two kids (one AS and one NT).

I'd suggest finding a group of people that share your interest(s). It's hard, but try to embrace your quirkiness as uniquely you. Your AS son is watching and you will want him to accept himself also.

Hey Emz welcome.

Hi,
Thank you for the welcomes and the advice.
Beau, I have an appointment at my GP on Thursday to ask for a referral to see someone. Over the years I have become fairly accomplished at masking and mastered the standard social niceties, so the superficial stuff like checkout transactions or taking the kids to the hairdressers isn't really a problem. When I'm with my son's its like someone flips a secret mum mode switch. I'm not thinking about anyone else, just them, where they are, are they behaving, am I doing everything correctly.
My main worry is as screen_name say's my kids are both looking to me as their only parent to learn how to deal with people on a personal level like how friendships and relationships work and at this point in time I'm not setting a great example.
Also, there's no need to apologise for referring to my boyfriend as a security blanket, its much better than the term I normally use which is my social crutch!

Welcome. Hopefully this site will be of help.