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bisonm
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05 Jun 2015, 8:08 pm

Does anyone else have this experience, and if so, how do you deal with it?

Fo most of my life I have avoided working full time. About six years ago I got married had a child (whom is also autistic) and then got divorced. I now HAVE to work as I need to support a child. I manage a restuarant in Yellowstone NP. After working all day I basically make a beeline for my room and don't come out until I need to work again. By the time my weekend comes I go directly to my vehicle and go as far away from people as I can.

Before the need to work I was selective about who I spent my social energy on. That's not really an option anymore so I am emotionally and physically exhausted by the end of the day.

How do you work and have some kind of life outside of work? How do you cope with the social exhaustion?



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05 Jun 2015, 8:23 pm

I can relate.

I am currently secluded in my room with a big glass of wine. :)


...that's how I (kind of) deal with it.



What's the worst is finding the emotional energy to be a decent parent between work/school time and bedtime.


I really don't have any help for you. But, I can relate. Socializing in general doesn't overly wear me out at work, but sensory issues and brain processing demands drain/overwhelm me.


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androbot01
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06 Jun 2015, 12:16 am

Welcome and yes.
I've just started working again after a year's absence due to breakdown. Just part time, but it's so draining dealing with people. Everyone is so needy; like they're playing out some persona and you have to figure it out and play along. And they're all different; what works for one won't for another. So much time wasted on ego stroking.



Simmian7
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06 Jun 2015, 5:05 pm

yes. i don't go out much at all during the week, maybe except to dinner...but that's only cuz i need to eat, not to socialize. and on weekends...a lot of the weekends, I don't go out, don't even get motivated enough to change out of my pj's....LOL and when I do go out, very rarely am i out of the house for more than 4 hrs.


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morslilleole
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07 Jun 2015, 1:04 pm

I can really relate. Since I do programming, there isn't really that much social interaction. But it's a small office with a handful of people. While there isn't that much talking, there is something going on all the time. Minor noises, people moving around, lots of minor distractions. All preventing me from focusing, which means I work slower and get more tired. I even come in at 7 am, which gives me 1-3 hours of quiet. It still isn't enough. I'm still exhausted at the end of the day. Think I need to start working more on weekends or something...

So yeah, I stay inside once I get home. And I rarely go out during weekend. I just don't have the energy. I wish I had the energy to write on my blog... But I don't. I really need a work from home job.


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bisonm
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07 Jun 2015, 4:03 pm

I really don't want to be so socially isolated. I just have no ability to hold a conversation after so much human contact during the day. As it is the last few hours communication is difficult. Slurred speech, difficulty finding words, inability to focus on what someone is saying to me etc.

How does one avoid this isolation?



CateJayne
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14 Jun 2015, 5:02 pm

bisonm wrote:
I really don't want to be so socially isolated. I just have no ability to hold a conversation after so much human contact during the day. As it is the last few hours communication is difficult. Slurred speech, difficulty finding words, inability to focus on what someone is saying to me etc.

How does one avoid this isolation?


Given the socially demanding job and your innate introvertedness? I don't think you can. You've got a finite amount of social energy and the job sucks all of it up.

Is there any chance you can find a less socially demanding position? Backroomstuff?



Seigfried
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14 Jun 2015, 8:10 pm

CateJayne wrote:
bisonm wrote:
I really don't want to be so socially isolated. I just have no ability to hold a conversation after so much human contact during the day. As it is the last few hours communication is difficult. Slurred speech, difficulty finding words, inability to focus on what someone is saying to me etc.

How does one avoid this isolation?


Given the socially demanding job and your innate introvertedness? I don't think you can. You've got a finite amount of social energy and the job sucks all of it up.

Is there any chance you can find a less socially demanding position? Backroomstuff?


Sounds like this is your best solution.
And yes I can relate, when I used to work my life was hell and I turned into a zombie, my overall intelligence dropped and took over a year to recover.



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14 Jun 2015, 8:12 pm

How do you take care of your child when you are in your room until you have to go to work? Does your ex have full custody and you have to work full time to pay child support?


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bisonm
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03 Oct 2015, 11:48 pm

League_Girl wrote:
How do you take care of your child when you are in your room until you have to go to work? Does your ex have full custody and you have to work full time to pay child support?



Essentially, yes. She lives in Portland with my son. I am absolutely not complaining about paying child support, however. I love my son and want to take care of him. It's also why I can't afford to take a different position. It's kills me to be so far away, but I kind of stumbled into this job. I don't really know how to find a job that I can afford to pay child support as well as provide for myself there. I feel stuck and miserable...



hmk66
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06 Oct 2015, 2:26 pm

I notice that I can easily work 41 hours a week. When I get home, there is still energy left. Today I worked about 8 hours, and when I got home, I had a social dinner meeting with other autistics, and after that I biked home and cleaned the kitchen and the toilet. I am not yet exhausted yet.

I have sometimes vacations, but the vacation in the summer is about 6 weeks, which is too long for me. 3 weeks is cool, but after that I want to work again, but... I have to wait 3 weeks. Using the computer or watching TV can be very boring.

The way I go to work isn't short either: 15 min. of biking, 20 min. of traveling by train, 7 min. walking and then again 15 min. of biking. Then I arrive at my work location. And when the work is over, and I want to go home, I do these steps in a reversed order. Sometimes I go to a store and buy food. I cook that food, doing the dishes, clean my kitchen (as far as it became dirty while cooking), and that's it.

I am not easily exhausted. If I am, I am slightly ill, but my illness is never longer than one week in total in a year. My illness is often just a light fever or a cold, from which I can easily recover.



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08 Oct 2015, 2:18 pm

For me it depends on the type of work I am doing.
I dont really like to work, but I prefer work I am good at to work I have no choice but to do.
I am an accountant and a manger or accountants.
I like solving the puzzle or just crunching numbers.

What I dont like are making decisions or managing people. I just dont understand how to interact with people. I am reasonably good at faking it, but that takes a ton of energy.
When there are pitch ins or any type of social thing I avoid it. As far as I know people at work could care less if they talk to me or not.

I hope you can get a job that is the right fit for you. Do you have any support - friends, family, church?



kraftiekortie
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08 Oct 2015, 6:00 pm

Yellowstone National Park is a beautiful place. Could you get me a life-long pass to the place? LOL

Seriously: I hope the job you have isn't too demanding. I hope you get into nice conversations with people who are in tune with Nature.



hmk66
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09 Oct 2015, 8:59 am

Sometimes I have the opposite problem. There is no stress because of too much work, but sometimes a problem of too little work. My task list consists of tasks that have late deadlines. One must be completed on the 16th of October, the other on the 18th of December. From time to time I will ask my boss if she knows that I could do. Sometimes I will think: "What is useful to do?"

Maybe, when I talk with my boss about my progressions, I could do some additional things which my boss would do otherwise.

Too much work is stressful, but too little work also is.



ScottF
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09 Oct 2015, 5:43 pm

I am employed as a paint prep tech for a dealership collision center. I must say, it can be exhausting, but what is nice is, I can be as weird as I wanna be and there is no judgment, I do not interact with customers and my job duties really keep me engaged in the work. I have prep the cars for primer, prime the areas to be repaired, block sand the area, then scuff and sand for blend, clean the cars off, tape up the cars and then on to the next. The work is interesting even though the procedures are the same, the repairs are often varied from a new bumper, to a fender or a quarter panel replacement...I seem to enjoy the ones that take a bit more thought and strategy, and have started to be able to do the more complex ones with less questions asked on how to do it( I still ask the painters for input on how they want it done) and am able to now anticipate better what they need from my work. I still have days where I am there for 12 hours or more, but they are very rare. Plus the nice thing is, 90% of my job is visual so I have days where I listen to my music in my headphones the entire time I am there...I really only have to deal with co workers so that makes things much easier on me...


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