I feel more comfortable talking to Aspie women than NT women

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Aniihya
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06 Jun 2015, 8:30 pm

I really do feel more comfortable being around and talking to Aspie/HFA women since they get to the point, sugarcoat nothing, mean what they say, are honest about what they say and use little to no emotional language. NT women on the other hand often seem annoying to me as they often feel more than they think when in a conversation.

Also Aspie women seem less infatuated with stereotypically female things and I can relate to them more. Do you feel more comfortable towards Aspie women too or generally with Aspies?



screen_name
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06 Jun 2015, 8:33 pm

I don't think I know any women with Aspergers.


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olympiadis
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06 Jun 2015, 9:54 pm

Aniihya wrote:
I really do feel more comfortable being around and talking to Aspie/HFA women since they get to the point, sugarcoat nothing, mean what they say, are honest about what they say and use little to no emotional language. NT women on the other hand often seem annoying to me as they often feel more than they think when in a conversation.

Also Aspie women seem less infatuated with stereotypically female things and I can relate to them more. Do you feel more comfortable towards Aspie women too or generally with Aspies?



Yes. It's easier to communicate and relate.



nick007
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06 Jun 2015, 9:56 pm

I only med one guy with Aspergers offline but I'd known to Aspie women & I felt more comfortable with them but they were both my girlfriends.


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ProfessorJohn
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06 Jun 2015, 9:56 pm

screen_name wrote:
I don't think I know any women with Aspergers.


I don't either, at least any that have let me know they have Asperger's. I would like to meet some, though, just to see what Asperger's is like in females.



BeggingTurtle
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07 Jun 2015, 9:51 pm

I met one girl when I was 9 and she was the only person in my class that could make full eye contact with. I never really understood why, but I became great friends with her and we still talk to each other every now and then. Later I learned why I could look at her so well:
I met her sister. She was 3 years older than me and fairly reserved. She barely glanced at me when we talked and I could make complete eye contact with her too, but not their mother. I later learned from her sister that she was diagnosed with Aspergers, so I'm not quite sure how I knew that.
With autistics or siblings to autistics (including my own) I felt I could better make eye contact and overall communicate well with. I don't know, but my brain wraps around that little notion frequently. There are some NTs I can make eye contact with, but not as many compared to those of the aforementioned category.


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Nonperson
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07 Jun 2015, 9:59 pm

Yes, I do. NT women have too many "social skills", by which I mean they are passive-aggressive phony backstabbers who treat me like crap because I don't know all their meaningless rules.

Aspie women are more genuine and therefore understandable.



Layercake
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07 Jun 2015, 10:25 pm

Over the years I have had several girlfriends. My favourite girlfriend, who is the only one I miss and the only one I would take back was diagnosed with high functioning autism when she was in high school.

The fact that I got along with her better than the others has always struck me as unusual, though I never gave it much more thought than that. We were even engaged to be married for a number of months. She was the only girlfriend I've had that I felt I could truly be myself around, she's also the only one that I have maintained contact with.

It was only about a month ago that I realised I must be on the spectrum, since that time my reflections upon our relationship have taken on a new significance. It makes so much more sense now.

I echo the sentiment expressed by other WP members on this thread about the frustrating behaviour displayed by NT woman. There were so many illogical and often contradictory rules and expectations that they have. Upon reflecting on those failed relationships I had identified behaviour patterns that my other girlfriends all shared. The reasons for our breaking up were generally the same. I knew this much long before I knew I am on the spectrum.

I had come to the conclusion that there was something wrong with the way I interact with my partners. I'm much more comfortable with these reflections now that I identified the true cause of those interpersonal conflicts. It's funny how life turns out sometimes ;)

Another point I would like to add is that I have been watching lots of videos by ASD individuals on YouTube in recent weeks and there is something about ASD woman that makes them so much more attractive to me than NT woman. I think it is probably there relaxed facial features. When watching a video of an NT woman I often have to look away, all the non-verbal stuff that's going on makes it hard to concentrate, but I could watch an aspie chick talk all day :)

P.S. Awesome thread OP!



btbnnyr
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08 Jun 2015, 12:11 am

For me, it depends on the individual.


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cberg
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08 Jun 2015, 12:53 am

To the best of my knowledge I've only personally known one, from high school and I have no idea where she is now (no Facebook for cberg), basically we shared a social studies course, detention and a joint :lol:. Sure, I suppose a few girls come to mind who might fit the criteria but I'm really not one for armchair diagnoses.

The ladies of the spectrum around here are uniquely affable though. This thread makes me wonder if I know anybody here IRL.


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Aniihya
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08 Jun 2015, 1:38 am

The NT women in my area always wear the same kind of clothing, wear too much make up and just seem so stereotypical. AS women seem a bit more pure in my view, their dress is more casual and relaxed, the most make up I have seen on AS women was eye liner and there is not such a huge difference in understanding between male and female aspies either.



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08 Jun 2015, 1:55 am

It’s a shame that so many people just judge people only on how they look. You cannot possibly see what kind of person someone is just based on their appearance. I see a lot of people complaining about how judgmental NT people can be, but honestly I think that a lot of people here are a lot more judgmental of people that make different choices/are different than themselves.



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08 Jun 2015, 3:53 pm

ProfessorJohn wrote:
screen_name wrote:
I don't think I know any women with Aspergers.


I don't either, at least any that have let me know they have Asperger's. I would like to meet some, though, just to see what Asperger's is like in females.


...that almost sounds like a double entendre, k I'm done giggling.



eggheadjr
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09 Jun 2015, 11:59 am

btbnnyr wrote:
For me, it depends on the individual.



^^^ eggscellent answer 8)


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slave
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02 Jul 2015, 3:51 pm

I work with a woman with ASD once....a pleasure :D

Everyone thought she was eccentric and odd, but we got along VERY well.



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06 Jul 2015, 12:56 pm

I belong to an Autistic women's group that meets once a month, and they are all like sisters to me. I met my best friend there and talking to them is so much easier than talking to any other group of women has ever been. So straight-forward. So un-boring.


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