Do people call you "negative"?

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I think this may be due to "optimism bias" on the part of most NTs, combined with perhaps a lack of optimism bias in us.
Basically, anyone seen as lacking the normal amount of optimism bias is seen as negative.


video:

Just my wife. She tells me I am negative and critical. Not always. Just whenever she is annoyed with me.

I wonder if other people would tell me the same if they got to know me better.

I believe in an optimistic view on life--especially if it's justified.

In many instances, it is justified.

Seems to be a recurring theme, even when I'm minding my own business.

I think it's an ape-interaction thing.
If you observe most apes, you'll notice all species operate within hierarchies, and if you aren't rich and powerful, you don't have the right to interact without showing deference, in at least some form.

In a sense,

you're "bad" if you act straightforward, and don't (or can't in many of our cases) show deference and subjugation. In "normal society" being nice means your on a lower pecking order than the ape you're interacting with.

Notice that powerful people in human-ape societies fore-go "being nice" and other
pleasantries, like CEOs, cops, govt people, people in "authority positions, etc. Unless they're interacting with someone higher up the chain, so to speak.

All the time...I just see me as being realistic maybe with a touch of a pessimistic outlook.

vague acquintances try, it's another way to say shut up


oh the enthousiastic majority, year in year out they applaude the same
inbetween forget completely
and next time 'round are enthousiast again

don't do what you've learned, cheer at it
or you'll be called negative

No they don't often call me negative, but that's probably only because:

1. I keep a lot of my negative thoughts to myself, or disguise them as humorous one-liners, and I often put on a bit of positive social gloss when I have to socialise with people I don't know, I try to keep my demeanour cheerful.

2. The people I'm currently close to are too nice to criticise me like that.

I think Olympiadis is right about this "optimism bias," I tend to see myself as a depressive realist, which says much the same thing except that it medicalises me instead of medicalising the society that can't face the truth.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depressive_realism

But I do think it's important not to overlook the good. If I'm too cynical, I'll never see that there are opportunities to make things better, I'll never see any hope. I know those opportunities are greatly hampered by the way the world is, but there's a danger that black and white thinking can see a 99% bad world as 100% bad, which would make me even more depressed.

I rather like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfbgNCDLCFI
It's a little too religious for my taste, but otherwise it's a good description of how I feel inside.

People don't say I am negative, because I am genuinely not negative.

Not really. It has only happened occasionally but I like to say things the way it is and some people will mistake them for negative thoughts such as when I want to take precaution, my cousin told me I was being negative and then she said she was just kidding when I got upset. I am normally not a negative person is why.

With my husband, it's because his neutral face is a combination between irritated and a totally flat affect. (which isn't how he is truly feeling, it's his default look).

So when everyone is happy, jumping around and my husband is standing there with his neutral face, people think he is

angry
mad
upset
annoyed
not interested
negative

Which mostly like is not true at all.

When my husband goes into an Aspie monlog, while the other person had just asked a question, and my husband is over the top sharing on his position...people think that is him being aggressive and negative. Sort of like "why do you feel the need to win all arguments?". Not true again. My husband feels he has to point out all possibilities of the other view point to be fair.

Sometime my husband says things he thinks will be funny, and it comes across as a negative. I leaned against small folding table, and it collapsed at a party. My husband said (loudly) "Your fat ass anilated that table. Way to go!" He thought he was being funny. The whole room went silent, and someone yelled out "God, what a total a**hole thing to say. Way to go douches bag! Tawaki did you break your wrist? Do you need help." My husband left the room in tears and hid in the small guest bathroom sobbing.

So negative isn't just what you say, it can be how others perceive your actions or body language. My husband very rarely ever smiles, so people think he's a rage-oholic.

sometime i am negative . but i think i can control ....

When I was an undergrad one of my friends drew a web comic where people rolling too hard would be placed next to a character on me who would say something usually about politics, philosophy, or death and bring them down. It was funny, but also kind of insulting.

I'm more in a sliding scale of "hopeful" than "negative" in general, even doubt exists. But positivism? Almost never.

I'm not always being called negative, but I always point out the possibilities. I don't sugarcoat negative things, it's just such possibility exists. Too bad opportunism isn't my type of deal.

Overall, people rarely call me negative. Either online or offline. Despite that I'm inclined to cynicism and pessimism, but negative? Not really...

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