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gaz34
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20 Jun 2015, 8:34 am

I went for "a few drinks" last night with local people I met on a social group. It was really awkward. People talking about work pretty much 90% of the time. I'm really depressed today. I never get anything out of socialising but I still yearn to have a connection with people. I don't really find anyone that interesting. Fed up wifh everything. It didn't help that I stayed out drinking on my own either. :(



VegetableMan
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20 Jun 2015, 9:02 am

I'm sorry you're not feeling well. Do you have any kind of interests or activities for which there are Meetup groups? For me, joining hiking groups, recently, has been a great help in getting me out and about. I'd gradually become a little to isolated the past few years. It's easier to connect with people if you have a shared passion or interest.


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gaz34
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20 Jun 2015, 9:34 am

Thanks, I've thought about joining walking groups a few times but they're usually too hard to get to and I don't drive.

I've also tried joining autism groups but they don't reply to me. I don't know why I've filled out the app form twice and my previous health worker contacted them as well but they never send anything out like the say they would or ever contact me again. This happened two or three times they said they would refer me to the social meet up groups.



KateCoco
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20 Jun 2015, 10:56 am

Have you ever been to a meetup organised on WP?



gaz34
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21 Jun 2015, 8:16 am

KateCoco wrote:
Have you ever been to a meetup organised on WP?
. No, I haven't seen any local ones and I don't like to travel.



Lakif
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28 Jun 2015, 5:54 am

Don't really have a lot of great advice, else I would be a lot more successful in making connections than I have been. I'm with you completely in that I desperately want to connect with people, beyond just the introductory level with a certain amount of tried-and-tested small talk, but can't get beyond that boundary. My ideas of what to say have been exhausted and the feeling of awkwardness increases at that stage.

I would echo the advice about joining a group with common interests, as who really wants to hear people talking about work all night? There are precious few where I am, so very limited opportunity. If you really want something a bit more tailored, perhaps try creating your own. I've seen niche meetup ads on Gumtree if you're in the UK.



KateCoco
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28 Jun 2015, 8:18 am

gaz34 wrote:
KateCoco wrote:
Have you ever been to a meetup organised on WP?
. No, I haven't seen any local ones and I don't like to travel.


perhaps you could try organising one



blauSamstag
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11 Jul 2015, 6:13 pm

It helps a lot to find a group with shared interests.

For 18 months or so now, for me, that is cars. I know a bunch of people based strictly on a specific shared interest. We meet every week, not everyone makes ot every week.

A lot of people default to "talking shop" to fill in awkward silences. This is why navy men have a long standing rule that when you are in a bar, if someone mentions anything to do with the boat, they have to buy everyone a drink.

You might find a group with a similar rule, if you try a few more.

Having other shared ground to cover is a big help. With the car guys we can fill in the silence by talking about the new focus rs, or that video of the moron who destroyed his mustang with a poorly set up NOS system that backfired while he was street racing and he didn't have a fire extinguisher. "Where's that mountain dew?!" - he will never, ever live that down.