The real reason why you aren't hit on much by women.

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They are literally telling you not to talk to them simply because you don't have money and looks?
Have many women said that to you?

I had a therapist tell me that I should find a confident older woman (a cougar/sugar mama).
Such a woman wouldn't need you to have money. Looks are subjective.

I get the impression that most women are more interested in "smoothness", meaning someone who behaves in a non-verbal manner that appears confident and friendly. I suspect that this is what is meant when women say they want confident men, as well as being able to take care of himself and of her in some way emotionally.

It always starts with non-verbal language from what I've been told. They say a woman will make the first move non-verbally if they see a man that has positive body language, then the man will notice her signals and approach her.
I heard somewhere that if a woman is feeling confident about her life, she wouldn't need a confident man.

Confident Body Language:
http://changingminds.org/techniques/bod ... t_body.htm

Romantic Body Language:
http://changingminds.org/techniques/bod ... c_body.htm

yes. it says so on their ads/profiles. I stopped counting but hundreds and hundreds. 4/5 ads on craigslist all say it as well. course this doesn't include ones on Facebook or women I've overheard in public.

rich women who take on poor men are far far few. rich men with younger hot poor women are way more often. even then they want athletic hot body men for sex. not fat ugly ones who may not even be able to have sex. wouldnt' want that anyways. I want a romantic love relationship with a woman my age or around it.

my therapist thought I should just give up. he only ever tried to talk about find work I have a job developer for that, it wasn't why i went to therapy.

confident means never showing emotions, never crying, basically bein a emotionless robot. you also have to be arogant. at least worthless men would as we lack successful experience. so we must believe we are better then others based off nothing but lies. that sounds like arrogance to me. though I think most women mistake arrogance for confidence.

though apparently I come across as confident on dates, but such a think can't be maintained, because as far as men go I'm super emotional and sensitive from being raised by women. a p**** as other men call men like me.

though that was also back before all the women saying I'm worthless. I don't know how I be on a date now. though I'm never going to get one again. I'm never going to have a decent paying job according to their standards.

You'll be okay on a date if you don't talk about guns and wet shaving.

Just talk about your family. That's the best way to "break the ice."

I do fine on dates, i just don't get any.

I know no tot talk about just about anything with people. ie guns hobbies, politics, education etc.

Marcela loves you guys

People with their ads/profiles. I used to have exactly the same problem with reading women's profiles. I don't think those are written in stone, though. Verbal communication doesn't mean as much to many NTs as it does to many Autistics. It's mostly about the non-verbal stuff with them. To them, verbal talk is cheap. To me, verbal talk is quite valuable.

For most of my life, I thought communication was 90% verbal, and 10% non-verbal, and it still is for me. I can be very sensitive to tones in the voice, even if I still won't know what it means, and body language is still very hard for me.

NTs feel that communication is 10% verbal, and 90% non-verbal. Ridiculous. After I discovered Autism and found this out it was very surprising. I don't know how anyone can rely on non-verbal cues to learn about a person. I found that I have trouble even reading my own body language, and I'm wondering if it's even synonymous with NT body language.

I think people probably do mistake arrogance for confidence, but arrogance is essentially a false confidence. To have confidence means believing in the abilities you have, and showing it non-verbally, which shows that you feel good.

It's hard to say what most women think/feel, and all humans in general. I don't even know many people at all. There is the group of people who are in the "popular" crowd, men and women with their stereotypical priority of money and whatever, and these are the most noticeable people, but there are many people that don't show themselves like "popular" people do, and their thoughts and feelings go unnoticed.

You're getting dates? I've only had one date in my life, the one girl that I was with for a few years. You need to find a woman who doesn't need a man with a decent paying job, there are confident women out there, and they are not always older women. My girlfriend was a sugar mama, and she was around my age. I regret that I was unable to reciprocate with her because I had no money of my own back then. Overall, I miss how affectionate she was.

I personally think that if a woman loves you because you get a good paycheck, it's not love. What you need is to be able to take care of yourself financially, and for your woman to take care of herself financially, and be together because you enjoy each other's personality.

I can believe that but it sure seems there are more guys out there than there are girls who are 25+ or 30+ years of age who have never had a relationship before

well last date I had was year ago now. mix between the well of women not demanding that and my what confdeince I had being beaten to a pulp by the many who do demand that. seeing what women think of me day after day took its effect over the years.

you had a relationship. I've never had one. doesn't seem likely I ever where. I'm only really good for online romance and sexting I guess. even that's rare and doesn't last long til they find a guy whos a "real man".

I'd really like to have a gf to be affectionate too. I have a lot of that to give and it makes me sad I have no outlet.

no it isen't but its what passes as love for a lot of women today.

yeah but women on social security dont' really advertaise though good ammount of them have the same standards. honestly there is not group of women wo only have it, its a random non logical trait. which is why i just attribuite it to women in general. if it was just middle class women who said it that would be easy, but poor women, fat women, thin women, ugly women, hot women, and a ll the between are all saying it. not all but all those different types of women. its not one type that says it but all types who are possible to say it.

like how most guys tend to like thin women. I don't get that. I mean I do like thin women to a point, not too much skiny women. but I tend to like chubby women too if not more. idk I don't think within what I find attractive which compared to others seems to be broad, that there is a better or less. if I had a thin woman and a cubby woman going after me and it would still come down to personalty and interests. I find both attractive. its hard to describe, so I really prefer to avoid classifying women by body shapes or looks. I hate that whole 1-10 thing lots of people seem to do. I'd probably rate them all 10s if I was forced but that seems to objectify women and men. I do have to say that being attracted to 95% of women hasn't helped me though, I though with having a broad range of attracted would help. but it doens't

It depends on what that person really wants in their life. A woman who feels insecure will want a guy who feels secure, and that is known through status symbols: Money, Popularity, Confidence, etc.

Women who already feel confident and secure will have different priorities. Personality and sex, most likely.

Same here. Chubby women are very attractive in my opinion. I don't usually like the appearance of thin women, but there can be exceptions. Personality is always most important, but appearance is very important to me as well.

Meeting women on the Internet is different than meeting them in person from what I've experienced. I've only approached women a few times in person, and it was not like approaching women online where they just completely ignore you because of your text or pictures that don't accurately represent you.

In person, it was actually not bad at all, except it only really worked out once for me. But, I've only ever approached like 5 women in person. The first one resulted in a fling two years before I met the one long term relationship I had. After my long term relationship ended, I met one girl I briefly spoke with online and that was an even shorter and much less intense fling than the first one I had.

I tried approaching a woman in a grocery store a few years later, and she was really nice and probably being coy since I was asking for her number in a crowded grocery store, and I interpreted that as rejection so I left. A few years after that, I met a girl at group therapy, and she was very nice to me, and I mostly just wanted to be friends with her, but I did find her attractive as well. But, I did a faux pas that made me seem unavailable due to my mental health at the time, and that was years ago.

There might be psychological reasons why a woman would seek a relationship online. A lot of women can just meet someone new by going out. A lot of women who go online to find a relationship do so because going out to meet guys is trial and error.

Going online is a way for them to know as much as possible about a guy before getting too deep as it would in person.
If a women already has a decent social life, and feels insecure financially, she will most likely be going online to find a guy with confidence, money, and popularity. However, a woman who is not worried about finances, and has no social life and goes online to meet guys might only be interested in your personality, common interests and sex.

Keep in mind the social system we still live under in regards to employment.
Many people are still mentally trained by the old system of employment.

men are far more likely than women are to end up as a 25+ or 30+ year old person without any dating/relationship, sex experience, at least that is what it seems like.

This is right. A majority of men will screw anything. Women are much, much, much more picky. Women seem completely oblivious to this fact.

I am extremely picky. I would not just screw anything.

Well, thats just you. You are not the only man in the world. If a girl wants sex, she wont run out of horny men easily. However, men have much, much more trouble.

A lot of wives and girlfriends seem don't realize that the only reason why their husbands/bfs are with them because it happens they were the only ones who said yes for dating them.

I recall a thread where some female users here admittedly that they got their bfs from dating sites/apps because they messaged them first (I won't name them) and they admitted that their guys rarely got dates or even responses on the dating sites/apps.

I find this sad, for both sides.

I made this thread about this: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=275052

Only blue_bean and hurtloam got it right, the others didn't.

It’s also possible that a woman who is independent and financially stable expects a man who is also independent (i.e. doesn’t live with his parents) and financially stable (not rich, not a sugar daddy , just stable – and able to live within their means).

That’s me. That’s pretty much all of my single, female friends (and most of my single, male friends too!).




Walking up and talking to a woman in person takes nerve and TIME. There are a limited number of women any guy can talk to on any, say, grocery run to Kroger. Even a woman who is not interested will likely respond if you are right in her face with “not interested, must be on my way”.

It takes 1 second to send an email via dating site. Less for an autoclicked “flirt”. A woman may receive 50 messages in an hour. She may have deactivated her profile, or not checked it in a year but because it’s still posted online, messages that SHE NEVER EVER SEES sit unchecked in an inbox. Or she may read your message, look at your profile and hit ‘delete’. Because she’s not interested! Rejection without engagement is possible and probably common.





Or a woman might turn to internet dating for pragmatic (not psychological) reasons: she’s not meeting guys through her ‘usual’ social channels, doesn’t want to be single and decides to look for dates online.

I’m also guessing that men, like MANY of the men in this thread, turn to online dating because they’ve had zero success getting dates the ‘usual’ way. Does that make them ALL desperate, head-case losers?


No. Just no.

Meeting a guy online tells you whatever his profile says – it could be lies, the pic could be faked or photoshopped or 12 years old. There’s no way to know ANYTHING with certainty.

Meeting a guy by happenstance or through friends or colleagues gives you a LOT more information, VALIDATED information, about that person – let’s say that my college friend sets me up with her colleague Bob. At a bare minimum, I know that:
1) College Friend thinks Bob is a nice enough guy to set me up with (and she knows me well, so is likely to be a better judge of this than, say, OKCupid
2) Bob is an accountant that has worked for Firm X for 3 years (because College Friend vouches for him)
3) Bob probably REALLY is single. (The odds he’s lying are way less than a match.com profile).
4) If I disappear after the date with Bob, College Friend will tell the police what she knows about Bob and there will be a significantly higher chance of the police locating my corpse in a timely manner.



Only insecure women date online? Only broke women date online? Only women who have money and no social life turn to online dating for no-strings sex? What the hell are you basing these assumptions on??

Again, single, independent, financially stable women sometimes turn to online dating … and are looking for men who are also independent and financially stable, i.e. women who refuse to date men who are NEITHER.



What’s the ‘old system’ of employment? What’s the ‘social system’?

And yet, in spite of the fact, what the person you were replying to said is the undeniable truth. And why is this? Because men actually want to screw. While women just want men to give them stuff in return for them letting them screw them, and not all men out there have this stuff that they want.

Also, can we please stop with all the "what about the womynz?! !" posts already? Involuntary celibacy only affects straight men. Can we please stop pretending otherwise?