Am I too broken?

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Yesterday, two years... or is it three? After he left me... I still cried just before going to sleep. As if it was yesterday that he left. Still cannot understand why. He told me to assume he died, but that's impossible when one could bump into them at any time again (as I did some months ago in a pub). I'm just so alone.

I'm sorry you are sad. I'm sending good wishes for your happiness.

You have spent a lot of time mourning the loss of your love. That's okay. You may mourn this loss forever.

The only cure I have found for getting over a lost love is finding a new one. Not that you will "forget" the past but it will be much easier to bear - same as any sadness. Are you open to the possibility? That is the only way it will happen.
If you walk around with your sadness oozing out of every pore than people are likely to keep their distance.
Smile, even if its just on the outside.
I hope knowing someone is thinking of you will help even if my words are useless.

My girlfriend left me six years ago saying something very similar.
She told me, out of seemingly nowhere, "I'll see you at my funeral."
I have been alone ever since.

A few times per week, I used to have dreams that she would come back.
I still have dreams about her a few times per year now.
Now I just have dreams about trying to meet new women, once every few months.

don't put people up on pedestals, and then they can't disappoint you [as much]. IOW, one must harden one's heart somewhat to defend against these disappointments from other mere mortals. we must not let other mere mortals hurt us like that, we deserve far better.

I thought he was my soulmate... what was I supposed to feel throughout? In a relationship, if one holds back then the relationship would inevitably suffer...

When you say soulmate, in my mind it means that you thought he was perfect for you, and that there could be no other.
He is not perfect for you, simply because he left you the same way my ex did, told me to "see her at her funeral",
and I still have no idea why she decided to leave out of nowhere.

She destroyed me for years because of how she left me. I wanted to die, because I felt I'd always be alone. She wasn't even perfect for me from my point of view, just somewhat okay-ish. But, I had a lot of passion for her. She accepted me. I don't know anything about what your relationship with him was like, but if he left you like that, he's not perfect for you.

It doesn't make any sense why such a thing as this causes me so much pain. Why can't I just be happy being isolated? Why do I need a woman to accept me and love me? It makes no sense to me anymore, if it ever made sense to me in the first place.

One should always keep something back. In order to stay safe.

aside from one's own flesh and blood, no human is worth letting oneself get hurt over.

Only if you continue to think so. Come backs don't usually happen, it's okay to move on.

I have per se moved on... I indulge in a variety of art etc... but I have no one else to love so far. I think everyone needs someone to love... I just have no one. Well, aside from a cat...

there is nothing wrong with loving yourself, being good to yourself. it is hard to find people of our frequency who "get" us. so in the meantime be your own best friend. the actor Richard Benjamin wrote of a book of the same name that is highly recommended.

I'm the same way. My soon to be ex husband filed for divorce in September of last year and we separated in November. I don't think I'll ever be entirely over him. I know he's not good for me. He treated me like crap, but I loved him. He's moving on, posting on facebook about how he's so ready to date other people. It tears me apart and I don't think it ever won't do that to me.

I have 3 children, and I love them dearly, and they are the reason I am still alive now. I have tolerated more pain than I thought I could possibly tolerate over the last few years because I can't stand to hurt them.

I don't have any sage advice, as my pain is still quite fresh and I don't know how I will get over this, but I do understand. I'm sorry you're going through this. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Kate

I'm sorry you're all going through this.

in the 80's, i was engaged to a guy i dated for 3 years. then he hit me, so i had to break up with him. i had no parental rights to his daughter, for whom i had become a stepmom, so i lost them both. luckily, i had a good psychiatrist (they did talk therapy then - now you'd want a counselor) who helped me deal with the grief and loss. the worst of it was over in about a year. i think grief that lasts more than two years is called complicated grief and deserves professional help.