Anyone ever turn down free sex?

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16 Jul 2015, 10:42 pm

I could quite possibly be the dumbest man that ever lived. So this woman I used to work with recently contacted me, just chatting, and after a few days proposed that we get together for sex, possibly a relationship (if I wanted one). I used to think she was really attractive (and she is) and would have jumped at the chance to have sex with her. But now? Alarm bells are going off in my head and I don't know why. Something just seems off. She could find any guy she wanted with little or no problems yet shes zeroing in on me and I can't understand why. She was in a bisexual relationship with another woman for 8 years and hasn't been with a man in over 10.

Its been six years for me since I've had sex and honestly....it doesn't really bother me at all. She's acting like she's going to go insane but I'm totally fine with it. I mean I WANT to have sex, but its not something I'm dying to get.

Whats also strange is me and her never really talked a lot back when we worked together. I haven't worked there in over three years and just out of the blue she wants sex from me? I also told her I need time to think about it and its like she's pressuring the hell out of me to hurry up and make a decision.....which also makes me wonder.


I don't know.....I just feel like a complete idiot because most guys just wouldn't care what the circumstances were. Free sex? OH BOY YES!! !! But not me :?

Anyone else turn down free sex? And what were the circumstances behind it?



yellowtamarin
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16 Jul 2015, 10:47 pm

I've turned it down and I've been turned down by men (thought I'd better add that cos I'm female so you might not be after my input on turning it down). Seems like a pretty normal thing to me. Don't have sex if you don't want to, for whatever reason.



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16 Jul 2015, 11:33 pm

I've turned it down a few times. The first was with this girl from work. She was really cute, but she had a lot of issues, and I kinda felt bad for her, and didn't want to take advantage. After turning her down a couple of times, she got pretty frustrated and upset with me...but in the end, I think it was best for everyone. I would say, do what you feel is right, and don't let anyone else tell you what to do.



rdos
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17 Jul 2015, 3:16 am

I'd go with her relationship proposal instead of having sex with her (if I liked her). It's kind of strange that she has mixed up the order of things. Could be because she think every man wants sex first, or maybe she just wants a child with whatever guy she can get sex from.



Subjekt_9
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17 Jul 2015, 3:52 am

I honestly don't think she was looking for a relationship. She kinda put that out there as an after thought once she figured out I don't go for casual sex. She's 40 as well....so maybe the biological clock is ticking? No idea but the whole thing just didn't feel right at all. Admiral Ackbar kept yelling in my head "ITS A TRAP!" so this time I listened to the old goat lol. Err...fish....thing.

I have a knack for attracting women with strong emotional issues :\



kraftiekortie
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17 Jul 2015, 5:37 am

I once turned down a woman who really wanted me RIGHT NOW.

The turn-down wasn't verbal. I just couldn't "get it up." It had nothing to do with testosterone issues. I was in my mid-twenties.



naturalplastic
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17 Jul 2015, 5:59 am

The question needs to be rephrased.

Its should be "has any MAN here ever turned down free sex?"

Women turn down offers for "free sex" every waking hour of every day. Or at least that's my understand ( person of the male persuasion speaking). LOL!



naturalplastic
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17 Jul 2015, 6:04 am

Not knowingly. But I was an aspie who was impaired at reading social signals and did unknowingly turn down offers of free sex a couple times. when I was younger.



rdos
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17 Jul 2015, 9:51 am

I never did turn it down, but I would have if somebody suggested it. And I'm male.



Kiriae
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17 Jul 2015, 12:28 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
Its should be "has any MAN here ever turned down free sex?"

Women turn down offers for "free sex" every waking hour of every day. Or at least that's my understand ( person of the male persuasion speaking). LOL!

I am a woman but I don't get "free sex" offers every waking hour.
And while thats true woman may turn down such offers much often than men (simply because males tend to pop up with "Wanna have sex?" question totally out of blue) it is possible for a woman to want sex but refuse it anyway, for various reasons.

I refused it once (I only count the time when I was OK with the "free sex" idea with this specific guy, not the times when random guys on dating websites or Internet chats asked me that on their first message).
I was at a wedding reception with a guy I found attractive and good sex material although I never wanted anything more than sex from him - he was not a boyfriend material, just an charismatic jerk. We got drunk. We ended up in my house. He asked me "Wanna have sex?" but I thought to myself: "It could be really fun but right I overwhelmed after the reception and my parents are sleeping in the next room so it isn't a good moment" and I blurt out: "No".
I never seen the guy again. He probably took my "No" as "No way! Where did you get the whole idea from?!" instead of "It isn't a right moment. Some other day." but I couldn't help it - my verbal abilities were limited due to the sensory overload the reception caused me.



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17 Jul 2015, 1:12 pm

There is no such thing as "Free Sex". Somehow, someone always pays.



JT_B_Goode
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17 Jul 2015, 5:19 pm

I'm demisexual so not only would I turn down offers of sex from women I'm not in a relationship with, but I have turned down sex with girlfriends because I wasn't comfortable enough with them yet, or not in the mood that night.

I imagine plenty of people of any gender or sex drive feel the same way sometimes.



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17 Jul 2015, 8:02 pm

I turned it down 1ce when I was spending a few nights at my cousin's apartment who shared it with 3 other girls & one of em is slu*ty. I turned her down cuz I was in an online relationship at the time, a virgin, nervous, & I'm sort of on the asexuality spectrum but didn't know that at the time but I wasn't really wanting sex with a girl I hardly know. The only girl I ever had sex with is my current girlfriend.


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17 Jul 2015, 9:37 pm

Damn, I wish women wanted me. I just want to have sex to know what it's like before I get too old.

Tomorrow, i'm going to be contacting all of my Tinder matches so I finally go on a date with a girl.

Once I get my own place in September, i'm going to be taking dating more seriously. Like I don't want to hookup now because my parents would be like "where the hell is he?" and what am I going to tell them? That I slept with some girl? Hell no!



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18 Jul 2015, 12:59 am

Kiriae wrote:
I am a woman but I don't get "free sex" offers every waking hour.
And while thats true woman may turn down such offers much often than men (simply because males tend to pop up with "Wanna have sex?" question totally out of blue) it is possible for a woman to want sex but refuse it anyway, for various reasons.


Males pop up with that question out of the blue probably because they'd really like to have sex with you out of the blue. But, since it makes us look so bad, many of us learn never to ask such a question or any more or less embellished alternative.

I learned about this essential difference between the sexes at an embarrassingly late age, but, ever since, I've assumed women always know I'd like to have sex with them, which, of course, to them, is just about the most disgusting thing one can imagine, so it goes as much without saying that they don't want to have sex with me as it does that I do want to have sex with them. I'd expect them to be insulted if I were to ask, because asking implies they might actually be interested, and, judging for what I've always heard and read from women, I should know full well there's no chance, so I shouldn't bother them with the question. In fact, asking probably counts as sexual harassment.

Kiriae wrote:
I refused it once (I only count the time when I was OK with the "free sex" idea with this specific guy, not the times when random guys on dating websites or Internet chats asked me that on their first message).
I was at a wedding reception with a guy I found attractive and good sex material although I never wanted anything more than sex from him - he was not a boyfriend material, just an charismatic jerk. We got drunk. We ended up in my house. He asked me "Wanna have sex?" but I thought to myself: "It could be really fun but right I overwhelmed after the reception and my parents are sleeping in the next room so it isn't a good moment" and I blurt out: "No".
I never seen the guy again. He probably took my "No" as "No way! Where did you get the whole idea from?!" instead of "It isn't a right moment. Some other day." but I couldn't help it - my verbal abilities were limited due to the sensory overload the reception caused me.


Probably because the "No way! Where did you get the whole idea from?!" interpretation is right almost always.


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18 Jul 2015, 3:38 am

I turn down free sex quite frequently. Not every guy is my type - not even close. IF I'm looking to get laid, I turn down the vast majority of offers. It's ridiculously easy for a gay guy to get sex that it's not odd at all to turn down a LOT, especially if you have a particular type of guy you're attracted to yet get offers from all kinds of guys.


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