Teachers lying to ASD kids to manipulate behavior

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My son, who has Aspergers, is at a school for kids with autism. He's one of the few verbal ones. He's been telling me things that his teachers have said to him that sound like lies told for the purpose of manipulating his behavior. For example, a couple staff members have claimed to have specific diseases during physical altercations, which made him fear catching the disease. He is there for behavior (hence the physical altercations), but is highly intelligent and highly capable when he chooses to be (he also has ODD). The result of these claims is that once he finds out they're lying (through simple fact checking), he mistrusts and dislikes them, and feels as though their lies are the staff's inside joke and they're mocking him. This seems like a disrespectful and inappropriate way to deal with a kid on the spectrum (or any kid - or any person, actually) to me. The school denies it, but I'm pretty confident that he's telling the truth for several reasons. Can I get a reality check? Does this practice seem OK to anyone?

I don't disbelieve it for a second. Telling lies to autistic kids can definitely backfire, and I completely believe they would go that we if they had to.

I spent a lot of time with my son telling my son what rules for for, with an emphasis on safety. As a result, those rules got more compliance then other types. That was what was intended. I guess the school figured it out too, b/c at a point they told him things were for his safety that were clearly not. He would come home confused. So I told him what they probably meant and called up and complained. In our case, his teacher did not deny it happened though she was very adamant that she had no part in it. I gave her alternate wording to use, which I guess she made them do b/c my son did not complain of it again.

I would suggest framing it like this:

"I know you said it did not happen, so maybe it was some other staff member you do not normallyinteract with. (Even if you know this to be untrue---it allows the person to save face and not get defensive at being called a liar) This is a very dangerous thing for anyone there to do b/c it will reduce his compliance for real safety issues if he knows not to take that label seriously.

This could be a serious problem for him, our family and your school. I hope you will work with people there to make sure no one does that because that kind of lying to my son could result in a very dangerous situation."

I also believe your son and agree with you that this is totally inappropriate behavior on the part of the staff...and sadly not surprising.

Can you ask to put something directly in the IEP - a specific protocol for improving/handling his behavior that states that use of untruths or half-truths is off the table as an option? An IEP is a legally binding option.

^^^^

That is an awesome idea.