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Cockroach96
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04 Aug 2015, 9:04 am

There will be more girls than guys at the faculty where I'm going. This probably makes me less likely to get emotionally abused. However, do you think the girls there will pick on me if they realize I'm weird? Can male students be bullied/harassed by female students?


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04 Aug 2015, 9:13 am

Females can be just as cruel as males--albeit normally to one another. As to whether you'll be picked on... I don't know. I haven't met you. :?


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kraftiekortie
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07 Aug 2015, 8:23 am

Stop making yourself a target.

If you think you're going to be picked on, you will.

Don't assume you're going to be picked on.

In college/university, bullying is much less common than it is in high school.



AspergersActor8693
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07 Aug 2015, 11:18 am

Quote:
In college/university, bullying is much less common than it is in high school

^This. If someone is investing time and money into furthering their education, then they aren't going to be the troublemakers that you experience in Elementary, Middle, and High school. Remember than no one is required to go to College or University, they choose to do so on their own.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Like kraftiekortie said, don't assume that it is going to happen. Take things as they come, don't look for something that isn't there.

But to answer your question as to if girls can bully boys, I would say yes. They are just as capable of bullying as anyone else. I was never bullied by girls, but I had been teased by them from time to time in middle school.

As a University student who will be a senior this year, believe me when I tell you that it is highly unlikely that you will ever encounter that problem at your school. Good luck with your studies. :)



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07 Aug 2015, 11:28 am

Yep. I'm a guy and I've been bullied by girls. Girls are capable of bullying - and much worse - just as much as boys are.

kraftiekortie wrote:
If you think you're going to be picked on, you will.


Not necessarily.


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ghoti
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07 Aug 2015, 11:41 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
In college/university, bullying is much less common than it is in high school.


There were plenty of bullies in college who saw me as an easy target.



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07 Aug 2015, 8:32 pm

Female bullying, as mentioned by others, is usually more targeted towards other females, because what they do ie psychological warfare, silent treatment etc doesn't seem to really work on NT males. In my opinion, they are more terrifying than males, as they make you beat yourself up with words.

Granted, some of my former classmates seem to be doing this to me and others. I am simply not bothered by it, unlike my NT female friend.

But in retrospect, female bullies were quite prevalent back when I was in primary and secondary, so I may already kind of built up some defences for it...

So yeah. The hell they can. Just differently to males. But as the others had said, bullying should be less in college/university, as people are more "mature", but more likely because they have better things to do.



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16 Aug 2015, 7:08 am

I don't think that female bullies necessarily bully differently to male bullies. Girls can and do bully physically, and boys do use words to hurt their victims. As a matter of fact, verbal bullying is the most common form, and can be more damaging than its physical counterpart.


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Spiderpig
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16 Aug 2015, 7:27 am

They bully differently in that they know you can't as much as touch them in self-defense without someone---possibly a big group---coming to their rescue and beating the crap out of you. So you really are defenseless against them. If you're like me, they can make fun of you based on how completely unattractive you are, as they know firsthand there's no way a girl could ever feel the absolutely slightest interest in you.

Fortunately, their usual behavior is just to ignore you. They're quick to decide you're not worth their time.


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16 Aug 2015, 7:51 am

Spiderpig wrote:
...they can make fun of you based on how completely unattractive you are...

Not true at all. Bullies bully because they are so unsatisfied with their own lame lives and compensate for it by making someone else's life a misery. It's got nothing to do with the victim's characteristics, the bully's goal is to get a reaction, and anyone who reacts becomes their victims (I don't mean, by that, that it's the victim fault that they get bullied because they react, getting upset when someone bullies you is a normal and natural reaction, the bully is 100% in the wrong).

Suppose a bully picks on you because your haircut looks "stupid". If you "fix" that by getting a new haircut, they'll just find something else about you to criticise. It doesn't matter what it is, it can be absolutely anything about you, regardless of whether it's a "flaw" or not, their sole goal is to get a reaction out of the victim.


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Spiderpig
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16 Aug 2015, 8:19 am

Catlover5 wrote:
Bullies bully because they are so unsatisfied with their own lame lives and compensate for it by making someone else's life a misery.


How can you be so sure? What stops a happy and successful person from engaging in bullying as a hobby like any other?

Catlover5 wrote:
It's got nothing to do with the victim's characteristics, the bully's goal is to get a reaction, and anyone who reacts becomes their victims (I don't mean, by that, that it's the victim fault that they get bullied because they react, getting upset when someone bullies you is a normal and natural reaction, the bully is 100% in the wrong).


They still have to choose their victims somehow, and it's a well-known fact that some people are chosen much more often than others, so the victim's traits do matter. Preferred victims are those perceived as unable to defend themselves effectively, which also depends on your surroundings.

Catlover5 wrote:
Suppose a bully picks on you because your haircut looks "stupid". If you "fix" that by getting a new haircut, they'll just find something else about you to criticise. It doesn't matter what it is, it can be absolutely anything about you, regardless of whether it's a "flaw" or not, their sole goal is to get a reaction out of the victim.


The only "fix" is to prove you're stronger than them by fighting them and beating them to a pulp. By insulting you, they're showing they have no respect for you because they think they can beat you up. They're demanding justice according to the law of the jungle.


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16 Aug 2015, 9:06 am

Spiderpig wrote:
How can you be so sure? What stops a happy and successful person from engaging in bullying as a hobby like any other?


Bullying is never a hobby. The goal of a bully is to feel better by hurting someone else. Bullies are parasites. Why would somebody who is perfectly happy waste their time doing that to someone? Surely if they are so amazing they have better things to do with their time than bothering with people who they see as below them?

Spiderpig wrote:
They still have to choose their victims somehow, and it's a well-known fact that some people are chosen much more often than others, so the victim's traits do matter. Preferred victims are those perceived as unable to defend themselves effectively, which also depends on your surroundings.


I would think that what happens is bullies choose people at random to pick on, and the people who react become their main victims. Being a victim is just a matter of bad luck, it has nothing to do with anything the victim does.

Spiderpig wrote:
The only "fix" is to prove you're stronger than them by fighting them and beating them to a pulp. By insulting you, they're showing they have no respect for you because they think they can beat you up. They're demanding justice according to the law of the jungle.


No matter what anyone says, violence will never solve anything. Fighting back violently just satisfies the bully, and someone could get hurt. Besides, it just puts you at the bully's level. Sure, if someone is attacking you you have every right to defend yourself, but beating somebody up when they hit you just makes you as bad as them. The best way to stand up for yourself is by telling an authority.


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Keiji
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17 Aug 2015, 4:26 pm

Catlover5 wrote:
The best way to stand up for yourself is by telling an authority.


I don't think so, this has little benefit - authorities just do not bother following things up - and it just gets you labeled a grass.

I can say that confidently because my childhood contained many years of bullying and I'm just thankful there was an end to it when I left school.

To this day I still have no idea what would have been a "good" way of standing up for myself, when I am and always have been physically weak, clumsy, short, gullible and terrible at ad-libbing.



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18 Aug 2015, 11:07 am

Cockroach96 wrote:
There will be more girls than guys at the faculty where I'm going. This probably makes me less likely to get emotionally abused. However, do you think the girls there will pick on me if they realize I'm weird? Can male students be bullied/harassed by female students?


Female students won't bully you in college, but they will be passive aggressive towards you, or just outright ignore you, not sit beside you, or treat you like you're less than.

I know this from the personal experience of being the weirdo in college.

No one really bullies in college. It it's a male, punch him and earn his respect. If it's a woman, YOU have to threat THEM like their nothing. Reverse the role on them. Women respond to power plays, rather than overt violence.

It's a game of wits. One way to play the game is to not play it, and if you hold your ground long enough, the women will come around. By not playing the game, you show the female students that you don't acknowledge them, and in turn, they will respect you for it.

Female psychology is too easy, once you learn how they operate.

Just always appear busy, and aloof. If someone asks you a question, just give one word answers, while you're on your phone, or writing a report. Be sure to hold your index finger up to them in the "one second" position to make it seem like you really don't have time to interact with them.

I'm not trying to troll or woman bash or give OP bad advice. This is how the average NT woman works.



jkrane
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18 Aug 2015, 12:08 pm

jkrane wrote:
Cockroach96 wrote:
There will be more girls than guys at the faculty where I'm going. This probably makes me less likely to get emotionally abused. However, do you think the girls there will pick on me if they realize I'm weird? Can male students be bullied/harassed by female students?


Female students won't bully you in college, but they will be passive aggressive towards you, or just outright ignore you, not sit beside you, or treat you like you're less than.

I know this from the personal experience of being the weirdo in college.

No one really bullies in college. It it's a male, punch him and earn his respect. If it's a woman, YOU have to threat THEM like their nothing. Reverse the role on them. Women respond to power plays, rather than overt violence.

It's a game of wits. One way to play the game is to not play it, and if you hold your ground long enough, the women will come around. By not playing the game, you show the female students that you don't acknowledge them, and in turn, they will respect you for it.

Female psychology is too easy, once you learn how they operate.

Just always appear busy, and aloof. If someone asks you a question, just give one word answers, while you're on your phone, or writing a report. Be sure to hold your index finger up to them in the "one second" position to make it seem like you really don't have time to interact with them.

I'm not trying to troll or woman bash or give OP bad advice. This is how the average NT woman works.


Just hit someone with a chair, and then claim mental illness. Because of discrimination laws in place, protecting people with mental illnesses, it would be almost impossible for them to get you in trouble. In fact, they'll probably give you an opportunity to open up, and you can explain the bullying, and they will actually listen. I'm not saying this as a joke, because this is how backwards authority, and society has become. When you're being bullied, it's war. It's your safety vs theirs. Who is more important? You or them?



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19 Aug 2015, 6:29 am

Keiji wrote:
Catlover5 wrote:
The best way to stand up for yourself is by telling an authority.


I don't think so, this has little benefit - authorities just do not bother following things up - and it just gets you labeled a grass.

I can say that confidently because my childhood contained many years of bullying and I'm just thankful there was an end to it when I left school.

To this day I still have no idea what would have been a "good" way of standing up for myself, when I am and always have been physically weak, clumsy, short, gullible and terrible at ad-libbing.


I was bullied when was younger, and i did stand up to them, and i did it with violence, and it did stop them in this particular incident. One of the dangers of using violence though, is that it can harm you. I was young at the time, but for a very brief period after standing up to bullying, i became a bully. I think it was using violence that did this. It is a dangerous action, it breeds like a virus sometimes. Standing up to someone in a non violent way is still standing up to someone. Gandhi had some success with this. I'm not sure though how standing up to enemies in the second world in this way would have been. Does violence sometimes have to be met with violence? If ever it is though, i think the person acting out of violence in self defence needs to cleanse themselves of their actions, as, like me, the success that violence caused, can lead a person, or perhaps a nation to submit to its dark side.


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