Aspergirls, do guys approach you?

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If noöne at all flirted with you, perhaps the conclusion that you're ugly might be right (not that I'd make such a claim, mind you), but, if only drunk people do it, it looks to me more like a lot of guys would like to approach you, but, when they're sober, you manage to scare them off. Only when drunk do they ignore the signs that they're not welcome.

Wanna go out with me on a date?




I think I like you but not so sure, wanna go for a date so I can confirm on that?




I really want to date you! Pick the time and the place!



SEE??? You girls have it so easy! Three of you just got asked out.

I think generally men tend to approach women more then vise versa. I also think that infuriates a lot off men on here because they take that as "ohh they got it so easy". What they don't realize is how hard going on dates can be.

It's the most daunting social task there is, and it takes a lot of you. They act like just because guys will give them a chance that everything is just a breeze for them and I highly doubt that's the case. No one has it easy dating as an aspie...

I just remembered a second occasion when a guy did approach me. It was an American guy who worked at LAX, and I was hanging around the airport terminal. Not sure if that is at all indicative of American men being more forward than Australian men...

In france, the concept of a date doesn't even exist ! I don't think there's even a word for it. Well, maybe "rencard" but no one ever uses it. We hang out with that special person in groups or alone. We're supposed to GUESS what's a date or not and wait and never express any interest with actual words until something naturally "happens". It's infuriating. I think "dates" are cool

Don't you call dating sites "sites de rencontres"?

Yes, but no one would call a date a "rencontre".

Here sometimes we use 'rencontre amoureuse', but often with a sarcastic tone.

I think the whole date concept is a new one, it was only in movies before, most relationships in the past (and even in present) were developed through friendships, acquaintances, family...etc.

it is the online dating sites that made the concept of date a reality.

In Western and westernized areas (like Istanbul), clubs and bars' main purposes are for 1) drinks and...2) socialization and in particular mating, it is a cultural and social ritual to do this there; It is certainly not to be done the libraries and public parks.

So you are excluding them, then you come here claiming that you rarely get approached?

ie. "Apart from the 10000 times I got approached in clubs and bars, I rarely get approached!"

Lol I don't really think so, people were dating before the internet to. One would ask the other out and that's it.

Not between two strangers; it was something often progressed from friendship.

But "a guy asks out a girl he barely knowns (face to face)"- it is something happen mostly in movies.

Not between two strangers; it was something often progressed from friendship.

But "a guy asks out a girl he barely knowns (face to face)"- it is something happen mostly in movies.[/quote]
Actually a guy asked for my phone number on the train, some years ago. Why do you say that it mostly happens(ed) in movies? Also some people today just add the other on FB and they ask them out after a while, I think. It's not very different.

Yes, that's right. I'm specifically referring to the sentiment of "all a woman has to do is exist and men will approach her". This may be somewhat true in certain context, such as bar and clubs. But to say that it is just true no matter what, so even a woman who never goes to bars would be approached just by walking down the street, that's the part I find interesting because it almost never happens to me, and I am a woman.

So far I can think of two occasions when it has happened to me (only one in my country). And two occasions when I approached a guy. I was rejected on both of those occasions. So I've never seen it as a very successful method, and it's curious that apparently men use this method on women all the time.

And for the record, in case you are jumping to conclusions, I am not complaining or anything. I just created the thread because I was curious as to whether the guys saying this about women don't know what they are talking about, or whether they were choosing not to acknowledge that some women don't get approached (just as some guys struggle to meet women, some of which are the guys making these claims), or whether indeed all you have to do to be approached by a guy is be a woman and perhaps men are mistaking me for a man all this time

Two times isn't really representative. Some men have to make literally dozen's before success. Some make dozens without success too. It's the burden of being the initiator sex, if you read the forums this is probably in the top 3 of autistic male problems with sexuality.

Yes I agree. All I meant was that it never seemed like a very good idea, and on the rare occasions that I tried it, it didn't work, and there are much better ways to meet people. But I suppose you just try as many things as you can, if you aren't having much success. These guys just aren't trying the "unsolicited approach" method on me though

I reject the idea of there being an 'initiator sex'. Sure, as long as people keep reinforcing it, it exists. But I've approached men just as much as they have approached me (in everyday life, in forced settings like bars and clubs, and online) so it isn't my personal reality and I like it that way. But I acknowledge that I am not a 'typical female' and if a guy wants to date a 'typical female', he's going to have to do 'typical things' like initiate contact. I think when these WP posters say "guys will just approach you if you are a woman", they are referring to the 'typical woman', and neglecting to acknowledge other women and their different experiences (which is odd since these guys posting are probably not 'typical males' so they really should be able to understand that there are women who experience the world differently, just as they do).