Mind games

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I have been overwhelmed with job stress. Someone told me, they can only play mind games with you if you let them.

Well people always say things like that, as if it's just a matter of willpower. But certain things, I can't deal with. I just shut down mentally.

I guess the reason I "let them" is because I'm cognitively impaired.

You're not cognitively impaired.

This is more of an anxiety type of situation.

Invalidation. I really don't want you to reply to my posts. Just stay away from me.

I was never nasty to you. Nor was I invalidating.

I really want you to stay away from me, and stop responding to my posts.

I really have no idea why--but what the heck?

Can you not respect a simple request to leave someone alone? I really don't care if you understand or not. I don't like the way you respond to my posts, and I don't want to take the thread off topic trying to discuss it with you.

Can you give some examples of a mind game, or what you think has been happening to you?

You're having a rough time, so do whatever needs to be done. Vent and unleash your fury, maybe even something like exploding at me for being insensitive or whatever would help. I won't retaliate. Literally I am very calm ATM.

What exactly are mind games? Is it deliberate or just someone acting out of stress or something?

Actually I would think they can only play mind games with you if you know they are playing mind games.
if you don't get that they are playing mind games with you that seems like an impairment.
Also if you think they are playing mind games but don't know how to react or what to do about it because of not understanding the whole social dynamic.
Or it can be causing you a lot of anxiety which can be very hard to deal with and can be an impairment.

There's no need for rudeness, despite what you may think of his post, which, I must point out, was merely his own opinion; you're not at all required to agree with it, but respond rudely, and you're just INVITING trouble. It's a bad idea on any forum. ....particularly if you create the topic yourself, being that inviting responses from others is literally the entire focus and point of both any given topic AND any forum itself. Including this one. Not to mention.... he barely said anything, and was trying to be encouraging. And he's not exactly an unpleasant or mean individual, from what I've seen.

As it is, your own responses here are practically asking for a flamewar to begin; not necessarily between you and him, but between you and others, more likely. And all sorts of unpleasant trouble can result from that.

If you make a topic, any topic, people are GOING to respond with their own unique thoughts on the matter.... which could be anything at all. That's the point. That's how forums work. That's certainly how THIS forum works.


I dont mean to be unpleasant here, but I wanted to say all of this calmly, before anyone else says it in ANGER.

+1

Do you mean when you are so overwhelmed that processing the significant from insignificant actions of others is impossible, none of it makes sense?

Remove the stressful environment and you are more capable of differentiating between the two?

Im not sure if my response would qualify as invalidating, I don't intend to be.

Kraftie I'm sure, like many here, has his own experiences with being invalidated, I don't think his intent was to do that to you.

I think it's victim blaming. Some people try to blame the victim of bullying by saying something like "You get bullied because you let them". Some people genuinely don't know how to defend themselves when bullied.

I'm also in a mind game situation although mine is far milder than the OP's. I'm familiar with this coworker's mind game after working with him for years. He's implicitly making some people believe that I'm doing something bad that I didn't. It's very frustrating that some people don't believe my innocence.

Help me understand - what specifics were provided that led you to the conclusion that it is "victim blaming".

I think so too.

I was not being rude, but I think you are.