NTs saying "you just need to get laid".

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One of the most absurd comments I ever got from NTs, and sometimes they say it amongst themselves, is "you just need to get laid.". Typically when the other person is irritable or disagreeable. Lord knows I had my share of it, but I'm married now with two daughters. Still, as if " getting laid" could possibly cure or relieve you of whatever burden or dilemma you're dealing with. I had girlfriends later in my 20s who I had sex with, but I still manifested the same symptoms, not realizing when I'd stuck my foot in my mouth and misinterpreted peoples intent, and so forth. Sure, it made me more upbeat and sociable and even cocky, just like the odd time I got a one-night stand from a club encounter, but as a panacea??? Nah. It's just a dumbass flippant retort "you need to get laid" as far as I'm concerned.

I dunnno man getting laid does seem to help forget about how hard my life, atleast for the time being. Especially when its with a women that I can connect with and I don't feel like I have to put on a "front" in order to earn some time in the bedroom, it's a good feeling when someone dig's you that much that they want to sleep with you, and it's kinda gratifying to get praised for satisfying them.

For some of us, they might as well say, “You just need to discover the philosopher’s stone”.

I think its funny and have tried to get people to say that to ME. I guess I don't get "testy" enough but it'd sure make my day. Stupid not-psychic people. Grr.

When they tell me that they are right I need to get laid at times although it may be in a couple months and not right away, LOL!

If they insist on you getting laid, they should assist you in getting some. Just getting laid is against my religious tenants though, so I'd have to refuse.

Haha! That made my day

Its mainly just a figure of speech.

A relatively polite way to say "go get F'ed".

Have heard folks say it about third persons not in the room (someone we all have been bitching about-"needs to get his dk wet"), but never about me, TO me, in my presence.

Whether folks have said it about me behind my back I couldn't say.

Do folks say this to you on a regular basis?

If so then you must be doing something that provokes people.

I find there's some truth to that.
Before I even knew what masturbation is I had high levels of motivation to do s**t.
Then masturbation started and I had far less energy,
then porn and that's when I (in my mind) gave up on everything else.
Such as arguing with people about anything. "Just leave me alone, I feel weak."
Could imagine regular sex has similar effects.

And I notice when I don't watch porn and generally stay away from sexuality for a week or two I get ridiculous energy and have motivation to do stuff like argue with people who can't handle it and are prone to say "get laid bro".
Sadly motivation and energy don't help with ADHD and some other problems, like what I'm gonna do with it.

It's just soooooo easy for you.
Way to rub it in, thanks.

People say "you just need to get laid" as if it's something you can simply pluck off a tree whenever you want.

I pretty much only need to get laid. It's not simple as "just" getting laid, like it's not a big deal. I'm rarely around people, and I don't know how to approach women.

My therapist says that I should be able to get women, because I appear confident, and have good communication skills. Umm...? Every therapist and psychiatrist I have had tells me this. Apparently, I look confident, and am good looking. He says I should have no problem socializing and meeting women based on what he's observed of me. What?! I've had a few of them tell me that they can't even tell I have Autism! WTF?!

Ugh. Today, some guy told me he wanted to do stuff to me. He told me that the way I look, I should be getting laid. Why don't women approach me this way?! I saw this woman walk right past me today and it took my f*****g breath away! She was so f*****g hot. She was wearing no bra from what I could tell. UGH!! Not fair!! Kill myself?!

Thought about it as I passed the bridge today, decided... no, I'd better just try to ignore that anyone in this world really exists, and try to distract myself with solitary obsessions... rather than my main obsession that has been slowly killing me and torturing me since I was a toddler. Yes, I've been obsessed with women since I was a toddler. Pretty crazy, right?! Very painful for my entire life, and no one gives a flying s**t! Like it's no big deal! What the hell is sex to people?! A cheezburger?!

I have the f*****g tuxedo, but I can't figure out how to get to the prom! Do you get me?! I worked hard everyday for this god damn useless tuxedo! (I am a Body Builder, big whoop!) I look just like Crazyfool over here! (Except with mild pectus excavatum) Only person here on wrongplanet that knows what I look like is goofygoobers. She doesn't like muscles. Just my luck! I was actually ashamed of having big muscles because of this! What's worse is I gave her pictures of myself with bad lighting at first, and she said I was ugly until I showed her a somewhat better picture of myself later on, and then she said I was hot. I hate my life.

Sex and body contact releases endorphins - the hormones of happiness. It could work as a good dose of antidepressant.
Being in a relationship also increases self confidence and motivation.
That's probably why they suggest this.

Oxytocin. (My half ass summary from Internet research)
Feels great if you have a relationship. You feel deeply connected with those that love you.
Makes you insane if you do not have relationship. You feel like everyone is your enemy.

I've never taken Oxytocin, but I'm sure I have a lot of it being produced naturally somehow, since I feel like every person on this Earth wants me dead just for existing.

Have you ever tried actually asking out a girl before, or are you just cursing your luck before you've even made a bet?

I'm in pretty much the same situation as him. It really isn't that easy. The last 4 girls I had the chance to ask out all said yes only to change their mind later. I can relate very much to what he is saying, I can't think of a reason why I have so much trouble getting a girl to go out with me. I just want someone to give me a chance, but no one seems willing to yet.

Nope. I have not asked a girl out for a very long time. I tried one time when I was in high school, and it worked. I was with her for a few years. I asked for her number, and she gave it to me... simple as that. After she left somewhere around 2009 or 2010, I tried to ask someone at the grocery store out, but she was playing coy by saying, "Oh I don't know..." after I asked for her number, and I took it as rejection, so I walked away in a hurry, ashamed of myself. Looking back, she was most likely interested in me.

I have not asked a girl out since, but I did talk with a girl that was showing interest in me at group therapy around 2013. I was invited to her house with her friends after I asked if she would like to hang out sometime, she wanted to hang out with me alone later on, but I was a bit hasty and said why not just go with you and your friends to your house... and I said some awkward stuff at her house that I thought would be relevant but wasn't. I think I made her feel disappointed and concerned about my mental health, because I randomly told her and her friends that I had a plan to commit suicide. I was kinda drunk, btw. I had the idea in my head that I needed to start a conversation of some kind in order to start building rapport, and I met them in group therapy... so that's what came out of my head. She instantly distanced herself from me, but her friends were still okay with me from what I could tell. To be honest, she was not exactly my type, but she was nice to me, so I liked her... until she distanced herself from me.

I think she really did like me, and did not want to end up with someone who has so much baggage. Ironically, that baggage is the result of loneliness. If I could just figure out how to ask women out, that baggage wouldn't be there. Why would I be desperate if I knew how to ask women out? If one woman loses interest in me, I can ask another one. No worries as long as I understand how to do it. But.... I do not know how, and I fear being rejected for being weird.

The whole reason I went to group therapy was to meet people, specifically women, and that has been the source of my depression, because that has been my obsession since I was a toddler. Once I break the ice, I am quite confident, I am not needy, not desperate, and do not need constant reassurance. But... I don't know how to ask a girl out. I remember when I was six or seven years old, and I wanted to ask a girl that I liked out, and I could not do it because I did not know how. I gave her a necklace... except I asked another kid to give it to her and for him to let her know that it was from me, and he did. He was very uninterested in girls. I always thought it was strange that kids my age were never into girls. She thanked me and smiled, end of story.

The only place I go to is the grocery store, and usually my dad is with me and it makes me even more nervous around women when he is near. I suppose I could try group therapy again. I also take walks sometimes. I saw a woman smile at me yesterday when I was walking... although she wasn't really my type. Attractive, but not my type. A guy was hitting on me, and it made me feel really paranoid as I walked home. I walked past a girl that made my jaw drop... I wish I could have asked her out, but I do not know how. Do I just tell her that she looks amazing and ask for her number? I'm not sure what else can be said. I've read that you're supposed to compliment whatever she is wearing, her style, and then assume something about her personality based on that, and then try to relate with that... I don't see how I can do that, It makes no sense... especially since I'm not even out there usually, it's very rare for me to be out there by myself. I wish I could just say exactly what I know about her, that she looks good, and I would like to hang out with her. Would that ever work, or not?

Well, here's another fact. When I was a little kid, I would try to talk with my mom, and she would yell and scream at me. She would frequently ignore me, and reject my attempts at conversation with her. This is 99% of my relationship with my mom. 1% of the time, she is nice to me for a short time. I see an obvious pattern here... no wonder I'm so afraid of approaching women.