Emotion-body-mind disconnection? Anyone experience this?

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I'm a pretty 'flat' person, I typically do not encounter emotions/feelings like those around me from my understandings and inquiries to their person. I can have emotions/feelings, but I typically don't react to them when I know I experience them (like say, happiness over going someplace and such).

But recently I've come to realize that people find me confusing, not only because I don't react to the emotions I experience consistently, but because my body reacts to some things without me knowing it (like facial expressions or other pieces of body language) and it is often in a completely wrong way.

I find it disturbing, that my body and face are reacting to things I don't consciously react to or do, and I feel that my body is wrong and it brings me a lot of anxiety knowing I don't have control over the only thing that I'm existing in?

Just recently I was told by a psychologist that I was smiling as I spoke about some things that one really shouldn't smile about, and I never intended to smile about something like that. And another time, I spoke and I guess my tone of voice was extremely wrong.. like aggressive.. and I am not an aggressive person. I was not experiencing anything beyond typical stress levels and it was very inappropriate.. but I didn't hear it myself.. I did apologize but the person seemed extremely offended still.

Does anyone else encounter this sort of disconnection between your "logical" mind, "emotional" mind and when your body reacts to your emotional mind.. without notifying you that you are reacting? I'm not sure what to call this..

When I'm angry/happy/whatever more often than not don't show it on my face, especially if it's a subtle feeling. I don't really know what my face sometimes says when I try to express something.
I have flattened emotions too and don't feel some things, but I think that has to do with life experience/addiction effects.

Do you have some type of addiction that makes you feel very intense feelings?
Cause if that's the case it's only natural to have a numbed pleasure response.

Sometimes I think of something funny or stim in my head and then laugh about that, people find that weird of course, because according to them you should only laugh WITH them, and if you don't they demand an explanation and they better find it funny, or you're super weird. But I don't laugh out of nowhere.

Sometimes I've had an inappropriate tone of voice without noticing, but nowadays I try to use only one type of voice expression.

Yes, it is a problem with outwardly emoting in the ways deemed "correct" or expected by the hive mind.

We don't run the hive mind software, so we do not get upset at someone else who is not emoting "correctly".

I am the opposite.

My mind/emotions/body are more interconnected than I would like. My face and body language shows way more than I would like. It's like my internal thoughts are an open book. Hate it. I could be thinking about something privately, and never say a word and people will ask what I'm thinking about because I'm obviously thinking about *something.* If I am thinking about something upsetting, they ask what's wrong. If I'm thinking about something funny, I smile or laugh. Then they want to get on the "secret." It's annoying! I just want to be by myself in my own thoughts.

The NTs I know do not have this problem. It's like they can control their outward display of emotions. Me? It's all right out there. What you see is what you get. I have told people before that I do not have the skills to build or maintain a facade.

I feel everything SO intensely. So, anything that happens or I think about will get a strong reaction. Not only in my body language, but in other ways. For example, I cry extremely easily. I can't stop it. So, even if I am out in public and I hear something I don't like (for example, I get disappointed about something I was looking forward to), tears immediately fill my eyes. I have a *great* struggle sometimes to keep them from spilling over. Excitement? I probably show a lot more excitement than the average 40 yr old woman. I will still occasionally jump up and down in public. When I am in a situation where I feel anxious, I feel very strongly sick to my stomach. If I get surprised, I can feel suddenly light-headed.

Being so emotional is a blessing and a curse. I wish it didn't show all the time, but artistically it is useful.

At least I often see people smiling/laughing for themselves on the bus, on the train, in the street. Nothing abnormal about that

Addiction? Like drugs or alcohol?
If so. No, I do not have any dependency or addiction to any chemical substance. Not even caffeine. I never saw the benefits of doing drugs, it wasn't logically a good thing because I learn from observation. People ruining themselves with the stuff. I never wanted to be part of it.

But with how people look at me whenever I say something, or laugh or just I donno.. people act like I'm trying to be mean or I'm not talking right. But I'm not feeling particularly anything, that I'm aware of.

Its honestly like the only emotions I do actually feel is anxiety/stress/fear, where I know that one and I know how I should react outwardly (if at all). As crappy as it is, I have severe anxiety and I am struggling with it.



I'm more than often surprised by their reactions, because if I do get an outburst of emotion from someone.. I can't say I understand. I may get upset over them being upset at me, especially when I'm not sure why they'd be upset at me.. When I don't either have any particular type of control over what happened or I'm actually trying to help them, but I'm not moving fast enough/not smiling/not engaging them (or so I've had people report to me).



You are not obliged to fill them in on anything going on in your head anyway.. But my sister is very poor at hiding her emotions, but she doesn't think of herself being exposed because she shows them. She quite honestly feels very powerful, she's a stubborn kid so she tends to use her emotions like tools (from my perspective).

I wish I knew how to show excitement and actually feel it at the same time, I tend to cry easily when I'm extremely frustrated (especially over social situations that I don't know what I'm doing..)