"Look at me when i'm talking to you!!"

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No.

"Why are you so difficult"

Allow me to pose the same question o' short tempered one!

I learn to cope with this perpetual struggle, the trouble i'm having is remembering to do so because first impressions and such...

Trouble with me is, I tear up when I make eye contact for an extended period...
And if they scold me, it happens like automation..

I cool down by looking at something real quick and continue with eye contact. I also either 'look through them' or look away when they do.

Any methods that you use?

I'm vision impaired and do this a lot.

I have hope that eye contact can come to Aspies naturally if done with the right technique and mindset. But still experimenting.

I tend to look at something other than eyes, like their mouth or something. I have issues recognizing faces, so I look for a certain hair style or clothes or something to remember a person by. I can't do eye contact, it makes me feel bad.

I do notice I tend to look at people for far too long, I still haven't gotten the right idea of how long to look at someone without making them uncomfortable.

i look either trough them or at the bridge of their nose. especially the second one seems to be deemed "close enough", as i never get called out on that, and looking 'trough' does get noticed at times.

My standard response to this is the simple, factual statement that "I do not listen with my eyes."

Also, I have some issues with processing visual and auditory input at the same time, so trying to read a persons facial expressions while also absorbing what they are saying means I will do both things half-assedly. If they point out that not looking them in the eyes feels disrespectful to them, I will respond that their insistance on having their feelings catered to in this manner is actually disrespectful and unaccomodating to me.

Look at their nose, or picture them in a clown suit to keep your cool.

I watch the moving of pupils like a hawk..and I forget they are talking to me..That's the problem.

I can make eye contact, but I can't for the life of me figure out one's theory of mind. It doesn't matter if it's the jackass I have for a roommate, my pastor, or what few friends I have. I had a professor when I tried to get my teacher certification years ago, who accused me on never looking her in the eye, even though I was staring straight at ther eyes. My head may have been down, but I was doing the looking her in the eye over the top rim of my glasses.