"To the Man in the Barbershop Who Called My Autistic Son....

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...'Sissy'"

http://themighty.com/2015/09/to-the-man ... n-a-sissy/

People should either mind their own business or offer some support. As for the barber - I applaud him.

I hated haircuts as a small child, they didn't hurt, they just frightened me. So my mom had to do it herself and she distracted me and had the scissors with her and would clip away without me seeing them.

Haircuts ... Yeah. My son has a special stylist we always go to a few towns away from us. It is one of those places with the movies, books and video games. It has gone really well the last few years, but I don't think it would if we went to a normal place. They key for us, now is fast efficiency. Get in and get out.

I used to run away from the barber's chair

Forget him. Hopefully he learns something, hopefully if your son heard and paid attention, you can help him remember the bad haircut day when he felt afraid a nice barber cut his hair and shut down a belligerent customer and made him feel safer in the world, because the way I read the article, that's what happened and that's what you can help your little boy can walk away remembering.

I'm sorry you went through that though.

What is meant by that?

You mean what I said here?



The points I was trying to make were:

1) We have big issues with my son getting haircuts. He is squirmy and had sensory issues with many of the standard things that hair stylists do. Sometimes stylists are very confused by his needs, argue about changing their standard procedures, or take too long b/c they are nervous with him.

2) We have to go to a place especially for kids because if we take him to a local place, they do not do a good job with him. The haircut places in town do not have the ability to deal with an autistic child with sensory issues, or the patience to talk to him about his special interests. They have to be able to get him to settle down so they can do an efficient yet good job with his hair. They have to be willing to skip or alter normal steps for his sensory needs.

3) We take him to a chain haircut place that is especially designed for kids. It costs more money than a regular kid haircut normally does, so it primarily attracts yuppy parents and parents of kids with sensory issues who are willing to pay extra money for a special place with video games and books and more patient stylists. Since they are used to autistic kids, I don't have the same problems I would in a normal place.

4) We make appointments with a lady who does a great job with him. She knows to tell him what she is doing before hand, and knows to avoid things that are sensory problems for him, even if it makes her job harder, like having to be more restrained with the water bottle. We tip well for that and also b/c we want to be welcomed back if he ever has an off-day. So far, he hasn't had a bad day with this lady.

Did that help clarify?

My wife cuts my son's hair when he is asleep, we fuss over it because I think he looks cute with an afro but she and members of the public think it looks horrible.

She keeps bringing up shaving his head and I shut it down because he would not tolerate it at home or in a shop, and I think the idea that anything but a shaved head or canerows or dreadlocks looks neglectful is so stupid it is below consideration.

The general public makes comments? What the heck?

I used to have to cut my son's hair when he was sleeping, when he was little.

My son doesn't mind scissors but he is terrified of the sound of the clippers/buzzers. He will sit down in the chair and ask the hairdresser not to use the clippers and then confirm about a hundred times that she's not going to use the clippers. "You're not going to use clippers, right? Because I'm scared of the clippers." "No, honey, I'm not going to use the clippers." "Good, because I'm scared of the clippers. You're not going to use the clippers, right?" At the end of the haircut he'll always say something like "Thank you for not using the clippers, that was very nice of you."

When he was younger he would sometimes get that "oh, grow up" look (don't you love it when total strangers make judgments? Big fun) but now that he's older it's more obvious that he's delayed (moderate ASD and intellectual delay) and his hairdressers are always very nice about it. So he doesn't get shaved sideburns, he'll live.

I was afraid of hair-cuts as a kid, now I'm obsessed with getting a buzz-cut every other Tuesday.