Imagine a 30 year old male dating a 19 year old female...

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Uprising
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10 Oct 2015, 3:25 pm

... and the male in question basically looks the same age as the female, considering the young aspie genes in said male...

How would you in general feel about this?

This is a completely hypothetical question and is not related in any way to my personal life but it is just something I've been thinking about wildly of how society would see this situation.



USMCnBNSFdude
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10 Oct 2015, 3:31 pm

I'd feel nothing. My parents were 30 and 20 when they got married. If they're both mature adults, I don't think anything of it.


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MissyManny
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10 Oct 2015, 3:31 pm

He's 30, she's 19, everybody's legal so it's all good. If he's 30 and has been turning up with a different 19 year old every 2-3 mos for 10+ years, well, that's another story.



TheAvenger161173
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10 Oct 2015, 3:35 pm

Im 41 my gf is 28. We met 9 years ago. Shes a stunner :) Im just lucky :)



andrethemoogle
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10 Oct 2015, 4:20 pm

I'd personally be against it, but that's just me. The age gap is pretty big, a 30 year old dating a teenager does not compute in my brain.



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10 Oct 2015, 4:25 pm

I don't have an issue with it, I could understand the concern a father might have in that scenario thinking the older man might be taking advantage of someone young and naive but you can't control your kids life when they're an adult.



Earthling
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10 Oct 2015, 4:34 pm

If it's consensual I think it's totally ok.
Strangers wouldn't even know from looks... the only thing that says it's weird is the guy's passport + judgmental people.



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10 Oct 2015, 4:38 pm

Uprising wrote:
... and the male in question basically looks the same age as the female, considering the young aspie genes in said male...

How would you in general feel about this?

This is a completely hypothetical question and is not related in any way to my personal life but it is just something I've been thinking about wildly of how society would see this situation.


Pretty sure Amythest Schaber and her husband of "Ask an Autistic" YouTube fame fall under or near that category & they seem to be a wonderful, happy, healthy couple.

As with any situation where the potential for manipulation or coercion exist though, I'd say it has to be decided on a couple-by-couple basis. Most large age gap couples I know are no more prone to such power issues than anyone else - it seems everyone only thinks of the "innocent 18 year old girl and the drug-using 30 year old man who served time for rape". Oh, and those belonging to some conservative religions as that power play can be part and parcel of the belief system. And from those, people seem to enjoy projecting it onto every large-age-difference couple.


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10 Oct 2015, 4:53 pm

Uprising wrote:
considering the young aspie genes in said male


What are these "young" genes of which you speak?

I kind of weirds me out a little, and my parents even had the 10 year gap, my father was 27/28 and my mother was 17/18 when they first met, I was born when my mother was 23. I'd never go for someone that young, but I guess whatever floats their boat, they're both legal and it's not like she's being forced into it.


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Last edited by Feyokien on 10 Oct 2015, 4:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Earthling
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10 Oct 2015, 4:56 pm

Why do you think it's weird?



Feyokien
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10 Oct 2015, 5:05 pm

Earthling wrote:
Why do you think it's weird?


Something about the gap just doesn't compute in my brain, something is just "off" about it. I think it'd bother me less if it was say a 22 year old and a 32 year old. I guess that's just cultural conditioning on my part though.


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Logston
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11 Oct 2015, 12:09 am

I think it would say a lot (of not so great things) about the male in question. A 30 year old and 19 year old are in two completely different places in their lives. I don't care how mature the younger one is. I'd just think it was questionable.



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11 Oct 2015, 5:15 am

Doesn't bother me at all. I feel like I couldn't date someone 10 years younger than me. I'd feel a bit awkward like I wasn't meant to be doing it, although I would date someone 10 years older than me, but then that would make them 43, so that's not really the same as an adult dating a teenager.

But if they really have a good connection and they're both happy I really don't see why it's a problem.


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11 Oct 2015, 5:26 am

Logston wrote:
I think it would say a lot (of not so great things) about the male in question. A 30 year old and 19 year old are in two completely different places in their lives. I don't care how mature the younger one is. I'd just think it was questionable.

Given that the man is identified as 'aspie' it's quite possible that he might be the less 'mature' and experienced partner.



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11 Oct 2015, 6:03 am

I don't care at all what other people do, but it's very much worth keeping in mind most 30 year olds know what they want from life, know how to get it, or already have it, or the resources to get it. 19 year olds don't have the slightest idea. They're just entering adult life and exploring how to be an adult in the most basic of ways. I'd just instantly stereotype it as the older one taking advantage of the younger one, because 90% of the time, that's going to be the case. But if it works for some people, more power to them, and I hope they're happy. They just probably aren't.


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