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It isn't all about personality

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sly279
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07 Nov 2015, 2:02 am

Ah so decent or well paid :(



cathylynn
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07 Nov 2015, 2:13 am

social workers don't make much. he's not materialistic. he's an isfj. you can look it up. i'm going into nursing so he can afford to retire.



KimD
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07 Nov 2015, 2:54 am

wilburforce wrote:
Venger wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
Venger wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
I didn't say anything about women in my critique. His assessment is wrong about everyone, not just about women.


A much less-extreme version of his assessment is still correct these days for the most part. With a much more structured society thrown into the mix.


It's so sad, and says so much about the state of education in most places in the West nowadays, that you believe that garbage. Have you looked at the "evidence" of biological essentialism, have you questioned the sources of the evidence, have you questioned anything? Or did you just simply accept the first explanation that you encountered that confirmed your own unchallenged biases and ignorance about the "differences between men and women"? Can you even site any sources for any of this garbage so the rest of us can pick them apart for the obviously biased tripe that they are? Of course not, because you don't even bother with scientific evidence do you? I guess you would need to understand basic concepts of the scientific method, and statistics, to understand the importance of scientific evidence in the first place. Such a waste of time trying to have an intelligent conversation with sexists, you can't back anything up in way of substantive argument.


For one thing, the user I was agreeing with said that: "our bodies think that the conditions of the past are still present".

This is almost certainly true since those types of instincts likely take millions of years to go away, not thousands.


Yes, we have instinctual drives that contribute to our behaviour (like eating and breathing to stay alive) obviously--but we also have capacities like free will, the capacity for self-reflection, the capacity to be educated, we also have cultural influences, and familial influences...to say our behaviour is dictated by biology is so limited, reductionist, and just doesn't reflect reality. We do things against our instincts all the time, like take drugs (self-destructive behaviour), go on rollercoasters, make sacrifices for our futures and our children that can be sometimes against our self-interested instincts prompting us to do otherwise in the moment, because we have self-awareness and the capacity for foresight. Human life is so much more complex than instinct and biological/hormonal impulses, to try and reduce behaviour to instinct is ridiculous and unscientific. Anyone who tries is simply proving their own lack of imagination and the inability to think outside of black-and-white constructs. We are more than the sum of our hormones and genetic material. We are f*****g SENTIENT, fcs.


^^^ Well said. The only think I might like to add is that most people can appreciate more than one "type" of person, and that can change over time and across varying circumstances.

Thumbs up, Wilbur!



sly279
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07 Nov 2015, 2:57 am

cathylynn wrote:
social workers don't make much. he's not materialistic. he's an isfj. you can look it up. i'm going into nursing so he can afford to retire.


Guessing he makes more then min wage, probably $15 or more per hour right?

Edit: Google says Median pay is 44,200 so about $23 an hour. Which is well paid.

I make only 9.50 while while is $3 above federal min wage is not considered a real job apparently.



KimD
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07 Nov 2015, 3:07 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Can you explain for example, without calling us sexists, why most women across all cultures strongly prefer men taller than themselves?
Why is there height dimorphism in humans to begin with?



I think many men prefer shorter women--or at least they may rule out taller women much of the time. It's a chicken-and-egg thing and likely a stone-age holdout/carry-over. It may be practical on some level, but in today's Western world, it's also superficial.

Of course, my husband is much taller than I am, and we often get teased about it--though we joke about it ourselves, too. If you look beyond the potential mismatch of the private parts, I think the cultural standard has got something to do with the assumption that a short person and a tall person can't have that much in common, which is ridiculous--we are what you might call "soulmates." Or perhaps it's got to do with aesthetics. Regardless, if we'd paid much mind to what our culture says about our height, we might have missed out on a wonderful and apparently rare thing.



The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Nov 2015, 3:57 am

No one is denying that human life is more complex than just instincts and biological past.



Venger
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07 Nov 2015, 3:59 am

wilburforce wrote:
Venger wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
Venger wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
I didn't say anything about women in my critique. His assessment is wrong about everyone, not just about women.


A much less-extreme version of his assessment is still correct these days for the most part. With a much more structured society thrown into the mix.


It's so sad, and says so much about the state of education in most places in the West nowadays, that you believe that garbage. Have you looked at the "evidence" of biological essentialism, have you questioned the sources of the evidence, have you questioned anything? Or did you just simply accept the first explanation that you encountered that confirmed your own unchallenged biases and ignorance about the "differences between men and women"? Can you even site any sources for any of this garbage so the rest of us can pick them apart for the obviously biased tripe that they are? Of course not, because you don't even bother with scientific evidence do you? I guess you would need to understand basic concepts of the scientific method, and statistics, to understand the importance of scientific evidence in the first place. Such a waste of time trying to have an intelligent conversation with sexists, you can't back anything up in way of substantive argument.


For one thing, the user I was agreeing with said that: "our bodies think that the conditions of the past are still present".

This is almost certainly true since those types of instincts likely take millions of years to go away, not thousands.


Yes, we have instinctual drives that contribute to our behaviour (like eating and breathing to stay alive) obviously--but we also have capacities like free will, the capacity for self-reflection, the capacity to be educated, we also have cultural influences, and familial influences...to say our behaviour is dictated by biology is so limited, reductionist, and just doesn't reflect reality. We do things against our instincts all the time, like take drugs (self-destructive behaviour), go on rollercoasters, make sacrifices for our futures and our children that can be sometimes against our self-interested instincts prompting us to do otherwise in the moment, because we have self-awareness and the capacity for foresight. Human life is so much more complex than instinct and biological/hormonal impulses, to try and reduce behaviour to instinct is ridiculous and unscientific. Anyone who tries is simply proving their own lack of imagination and the inability to think outside of black-and-white constructs. We are more than the sum of our hormones and genetic material. We are f*****g SENTIENT, fcs.


True those instincts don't determine the final outcome of every decision. But they're obviously a factor a lot of the time, and sometimes even the determining factor.

And besides, the "sentient" cavemen we're talking about likely possessed most or all of the same traits that you listed above, but then also the same basic instincts as present-day humans.



The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Nov 2015, 4:13 am

[quote]



Kim, Cultural standard? This exists in all cultures, so I don't think it's due to cultural standards; that surely originated from a human instinct.

Btw, I bet most men are still sexually attracted to women taller than them.
The reason why they prefer women shorter than them is due to chances of acceptance: taller women are way more likely to reject them; plus there's the social norm pressure.
I wouldn't mind to date women taller than me, I did, but they act awkward and tell me they felt weird about it; hence why I no longer try with taller women.

But women seems to take the height thing deeper, they are more sexually attracted to taller men; they also seem to assume the taller the bigger is his private part (yet there's no correlation between penis size and height, check it out; I won't go into much details here about my encounters but lemme tell you that their pre-nude assumptions were very false, it was an unexpected pleasant surprise for them).

They also seem to relate short man to their little brother or some nephew ("I feel it's like kissing my little brother", they say)... funny, why a tall man doesn't remind them of a big brother? Lol Men don't do that at all, I've never heard me. saying that a tall girl or a short girl reminds them of some big or little sister.



cathylynn
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07 Nov 2015, 6:55 pm

my best friend in school was 5' 10". she let a shorter guy know she liked him. he said he rejected her on the basis of her height.

i'm 5'5". i have dated guys shorter than i am. please, enough with the unhelpful stereotypes.



The_Face_of_Boo
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08 Nov 2015, 1:57 am

cathylynn wrote:
my best friend in school was 5' 10". she let a shorter guy know she liked him. he said he rejected her on the basis of her height.

i'm 5'5". i have dated guys shorter than i am. please, enough with the unhelpful stereotypes.



And please enough of dismissing my personal experience and plenty of other men just because you knew one or two exceptions for this... etc. ;-)

Telling me of 2 exceptions you knew in your 59 years of life so far are just that, exceptions; not all of us meet unicorns.