At what age do people start defining you by your job?
I'm 19 and I don't have a job right now. I know that at some point people are going to start defining me by my job or lack of job. I'm already noticing that most people my age have a job. At the moment my excuse for having no job is upgrading my high school grades. If I went to university I would mention university instead. I sometimes also say I'm an artist. When will my excuses stop working and when will people start thinking it's weird I don't have a job? I think at this point it's weird to not have a job, but it's still acceptable to work minimum wage.
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Sweetleaf
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The concept is alien to me...a job is something someone does, not who they are.
But yeah I suppose around the age of 18, people tend to assume you'll be going to college, going to a technical or certificate program, or at least are working a part time job. Around 25 I think people start assuming you have some form of steady employment or are working towards a career.
Of course with the way things are going you're lucky if by 30 you have a crappy paying job that certainly doesn't pay enough for entirely independent living and aren't close to being fired and/or laid off. You're really lucky if this occurs before age 30.
And anyone who can actually afford to rent an apartment or home without room-mates is beyond lucky, hell your lucky if you can afford a place with room-mates rather than still living with parents.
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We won't go back.
I think until around 25, it's generally considered acceptable to be in school, or looking for work, but not yet fully independent. After that, it gets a bit awkward when people inevitably ask "where do you work", if you don't have an acceptable answer to that question.
I've found that a lot of people are simply trying to make conversation, and it's not their primary objective to judge you. And the ones that do judge you based on your socio-economic status... Meh, who cares what they think.
Glad I still have some time. If people ask I'll just have some good filler answers that will disguise my situation but still keep the conversation going.
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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
I'm mostly asking this to decide what I should tell friends and potential dates.
_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
I'm mostly asking this to decide what I should tell friends and potential dates.
The moment you start working that's when people start judging...
employment is the new form of class system...
I'm mostly asking this to decide what I should tell friends and potential dates.
The moment you start working that's when people start judging...
employment is the new form of class system...
I think people also get judged for not working or being on disability.
_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
I'll try that when I have more energy.
_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
When a person decides to go to college or trade school. It also depends on whichever degree you are studying people will make some form of assumption. A lot of people have good reactions to people who are studying. However, it feels like a good number of these types seem to assume those going into technology will become as rich as Bill Gates once they finish school.
Mid-twenties is when most people expect you to have a career of some sort. Early thirties and it gets really awkward because it's obviously not normal. Not that being normal is all that great but it's important to appear normal so people don't judge you. Don't ask me why. Those are just the rules and they are impervious to rational analysis.
BirdInFlight
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I think you are still of an age when people aren't going to make too many judgments on you for what job you have or even if you have to say you are still deciding on what to do with your life -- 19 is still young enough that this is very common. It's when you're in mid to late 20s I think people start expecting a more substantial answer to that question of what you do.
When someone asks you "what do you do?" or where do you work, some of the things they tend to accept or respond positively to are:
I'm studying to be [fill in blank]/ I'm at college/university at the moment
I'm between jobs at the moment
I'm doing a lot of volunteer work at the moment
Any of the above plus "while I plan my next move" or "while I decide what to do next."
There is also:
I'm an artist/musician/photographer, graphic designer/struggling actor -- or whatever creative field if you are pursuing one of those. If you feel uncomfortable saying that because the pursuit of that goal doesn't actually make you a living yet, you can add "struggling" with a wry smile, or that you are giving yourself a goal to that end "I'm taking time out from work to make more progress with my (acting, artistic goals, etc)
Depending on the situation, some of this may even be overkill or too much information -- as someone else mentioned, sometimes people ask what you do for a living just to make idle chitchat and they really don't care what the answer is, or they hope to make further responses based on your answer just to keep the chit chat alive.
I find it best to keep things brief and then immediately follow up your own answer with a question aimed back at them. "I'm deciding on a new direction at the moment; how about yourself?" / Or: I'm between things/ hoping to take a course -- but I heard you're a vet assistant? That must be very emotional at times."
Sadly, it is true that some people -- maybe even "many" people -- do make all kinds of snap-judgements based on what someone's job is. It seems to be human nature, and it's not fair because I agree with Sweetleaf that WHAT you do doesn't automatically equate with what or who you ARE as a person.
My job has zero anything to do with what I am as a person and who I am, what I actually truly love or care about or am good at. It just pays the bills. But people tend to be shallow.
Just mention studies, college, volunteering, a goal in an artistic field, or even taking a sabbatical to figure out what direction you want to take.
Actually, at 19 most older people don't even expect someone to have figured it all out yet in terms of a career for the rest of that person's life. It's still perfectly acceptable at your age to tell people you haven't yet figured out your ultimate goals but at the moment you are working on that.
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